Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Sunday 23 October 2011

I just went for a walk, my legs are too tired for walking and I felt sleepy and too tired to walk.
But I needed a break from standing here using a computer.
On Sundays the only computers available are ones that you stand at for 15 or 20 minutes.
As I walked I realised that not having eaten much wasn't helping, so I looked in my backpack and found a sandwich, some biscuits and a small steamed pudding.
The sandwich didn't look very appetising, but it was better than nothing, and the steamed pudding is meant to be heated and eaten with a spoon, but I couldn't heat it and I couldn't find a spoon, so I ate it like a cake, cold and holding it to eat it rather than spooning it from the tub, it was very nice and will keep my blood sugar levels up.
The bigger problem was nothing to drink, the market is closed now, and I have no drinks in reserve and almost no access to water, so I went to the supermarket and drank a lot of water from the tap in the disabled toilet and took an antihistamine and inhaler to help me breathe and disinfected an abcess on my nose that is also making breathing worse.
On the way back to the library I managed to find 2 McD's stickers, I now need 2 more in order to get a cuppa.
I will write more about the cult in a mo, it is heavy writing.

This morning the ground was wet, though I didn't feel any wet where I was sleeping, there had either been a heavy dew or light rain, and for once it didn't wake me, I slept all night without waking until the alarm woke me. But I had a fear dream in the early morning, I have these sometimes, they are lucid dreams involving immediate circumstances; In this dream I dreamed I heard someone walking towards where I was lying on the ground, I tried to get up and move or speak, but I couldn't, the people found me, it was an indian family, they weren't speaking English and I couldn't understand them, so I simply told them that I was sorry for trespassing and that I would move, as I started to gather my blankets, they started dumping boxes of bric a brac on my blankets, I politely asked if these were for the Christmas bazaar? but they ignored me, I realised that what they were dumping was my old posessions which were  left behind when I lost my home.
The reason I asked them if these things were for the bazaar is because there is a notice nearby advertising a bazaar.

I am so tired, even though I slept well, my head is still bunged up and it is so hard to stand up and use a computer. The bad memories are needling me as well. I really want a cuppa.

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