dentist

well I went to the dentist, and thankfully there was no problems, the dentist says I need one filling next time, and she made up a mold for a mouthguard for me, this is because I grind my teeth in my sleep and that is contibuting to my tiredness and pain. Making the mold involves biting into a plastic thing full of plasticine, I had to wash plasticine out of my mouth afterwards, interesting, but good that I will have a mouthguard soon.

The doctor's surgery have been phoning and leaving messages about resolving the issues that occured yesterday, well that makes them a good practice, but I would rather they removed whatever organ it is in my right side that is hurting so horribly. I went back to the daycentre for my elevenses and the man there said he had a pair of jeans in my size for me, he also found a pair of socks and a scarf in my size, he is a nice man, he said that the clinical outreach worker from the doctor's surgery had been looking for me, ah well, she did not find me.

I walk down to the mission hall, but I am getting more and more tired, I feel like I have a cold in the head, it isn't in my lungs, my head is heavy and bunged up, it has been like this a few days and nothing helps, I still have the sore throat, I am exhausted, I think the force of Monday's osteopathy was like being in a car crash or something, it has been catastrophic to my system, and the indigestion at the weekend shouldn't help, God I am a pitiful wreck, put me to sleep.
The mission is welcoming but I am too tired for it, they feed me and make tea, I cannot cope with the conversations or their well-meant prayers, one of the women offers me a room for a few nights but she says it is quite a walk away, I tell her I can hardly walk to the mission hall from town, let alone trying to get to where she lives, so she just accepts that, I feel so discouraged, I don't really want to go to the mission hall again, I don't really agree with what has been prayed and said and the 'visions' they have given for me, if God can give visions to select people then he can start rescuing abused and destroyed people instead of letting them commit suicide in shame and despair.
I manage to walk back to town, I wish I could have gone home with that woman, and slept a long time in a soft bed, thats what I need now.
I am back in the library listening to 'Molly Malone' and 'Dublin City in the rare auld times'.