This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Thursday, 31 March 2016


Is it really Thursday already?

Only one more day of no papers.

And yes, the walk is done. For the last time. I can't walk 70 miles any more, and I need to come up with a less energetic and time-consuming fund-raiser, but the walk served it's purpose in the same way as the old blog did.

Yesterday wasn't a long walk. But I was feeling rubbish yesterday, very depressed, and I still am. I have been fighting the depression since the attack by the Jersey Deanery and press and Bob's collapse last year, and it is only getting worse.

Last night I struggled through work and came home shattered. I slept soundly all night but dreamed a lot.
I had a lie in the morning but was in time to catch up with Hollyoaks. It is so tragic at the moment, I mean why does Hollyoaks have to kill a character who makes Hollyoaks nicer and kinder? I mean Cleo and Holly used to be sweet as well but they are corrupted now, why kill Rachel? I guess, seeing as Robbie and Jason have gone at the same time, it is kind of seasonal killing off time.

It is a cloudy day with various sunshine.
The room looks better since I was clearing it out, I wonder why walking 70 miles makes me want to clear junk out of my apartment?

Music time, I think. Anyone got a bass instrument to play along?

Tuesday, 29 March 2016


Good evening,

Well that was a walk through variable weather, sun, wind rain, hail, rinse spin, soak, dry.

And now I am preparing for work, and I think the milk is off as it tasted funny and I feel sick.

And wow, I own so much junk, so I am dividing it into: charity shop, refuse tip, black bag rubbish and recycle bin.

Pardon me while I throw up.

Tomorrow is the last day of the walk. Not so far now.

Monday, 28 March 2016

Easter Monday

Good monday to you,
Especially if you get the day off work.
I don't.

As you know, I am walking at the moment.
But I still finished in time to wash Florence and do her tyres, screenwash, oil, water, hoover, fragrance etc.

This morning I woke at some unearthly hour, with the wind battering fiercely against the house, I felt very reluctant to go and start the walk, but I did anyway.
There were trees and fences down and a lot of debris.

It was hard work in the wind, but on the open hills there are no trees, so I just got murdered by the wind.
The walk turned the corner today, we are on the home stretch, two more days.
And the wind did drop and the sunshine was quite warm by about 11am.

I am tired and aching.

I am not doing the papers this week, until the weekend.

But I am working every evening, until Saturday, when my friend is taking me to the Opera.

Now I am home I am doing bank holiday tasks such as the car and sorting through drawers.

And watching the Home Alone films, because there is nothing good on tv at all.

Sunday, 27 March 2016

Easter Sunday Night

Good evening peeps,

Happy Easter.

I am tired and in pain. But less pain than earlier.

The walk, as you know, head started on Good Friday, and I had a good 15 mile walk then, very steady, the weather was glorious, hard to believe it was going to change so much. I even got sun-burned.
 Then I went to work in the evening, so tired.
And work was mad, it has been all weekend, town is packed, nowhere to park, and the weather did turn bad.
Yesterday was the shorter walk. 7+ miles on easy terrain. And although bad weather was due, I got a head-start on the weather after doing my paper round and an extra round.
I finished the day's walk just as the wind picked up and the showers began.

I had enough energy when I got home to get three loads of washing done and clean the flat, which is unusual for the Great Walk, but usually the walk is long walking days and takes less time, this time I have to keep working in the evenings so it is more days and shorter walks. Well today's walk wasn't short or nice.

Anyway, last night I had a long shift at work and it was mad.
So with the clocks changing as well, and a night full of horrific flashbacks and terrors and nightmares, I woke this morning feeling tired and ill.

Medded up, I went and did the papers. Two rounds.
The shop gave me more Easter eggs, and my life was looking like a chocolate warehouse.
The walk today was through mud, rain, brambles, detours water, and anything else you can think of to hate.
But it has now reached the halfway mark. Approximately three days left of walking, and actually the next two days are the tricky ones. The walk divides into the easier and more domesticated first half, and the remote and toiletless part. I must keep up the tradition of making people giggle by mentioning she-wee's.
 But anyway, I have to work out how to get to and from start and finish points now, because it is very tricky indeed. I don't need to remind you that the person who would have helped with this is recently deceased, and continuing the walk without them hurts my heart. But it is my Last Great Walk, sad to say, because my leg has deteriorated and will not go on withstanding 70 mile madness like this.
Last year the walk was done in brilliant sunshine, with my friend waiting for me at the end of each day with a flask of tea for me. It hurts my heart.

Anyway, I got home from the walk in time to cook a swift but tasty Easter dinner. I have perfected my garlic and herb butter recipe and it was scrummy!
I had time for a quick sleep before washing, dressing in work clothes and going to work. I have just got home.

Wish me luck as I walk in galeforce winds out on the remote hills tomorrow, I am not delighted with the prospect but if you think about what the people I am doing this for go through, hey I would walk this every day for them if my leg didn't need stapling. I don't think people really get stapled. By the way, I did duck out of the biopsy, as you may have noticed, but I got a letter saying they will come round with nets and stun guns if I don't make the next appointment. Actually I literally had no money or means of getting to the hospital last time.
I feel like I need to be recycled, I am so messed up.

Anyway, so I have to hope for the best for the walk now, It is not a long walk tomorrow but I am going to drive out there and have to somehow get back to the car at the end of the day, fun fun, the following day is a longer walk and more tricky in getting home. Then the third day is the easy one and the finish.
And I am working every evening, which puts me under much more pressure with regards getting home.
At least I have the week off from the papers!

Friday, 25 March 2016

Good Friday

Good Morning,

Jesus Died For Our Sins Today.
Unfortunately the Church of England decided to bind my sins to my back and make me carry them up a steep hill, and sometimes I fall under the weight. They don't carry the weight of their sins because they forgive themsleves in church each week, but my Baptism and confession count for nothing.
Funny isn't it?
2000 years go by
still they cry
'crucify, crucify!'

Well I will be walking, carrying my burden up a steep hill.
The weather is looking so bad for the next 10 days but today it is fine, so I will head-start the Great Walk today.
I would have started an hour ago, but unfortunately I had an extra paper-round and also after Hollyoaks, Short Circuit was on, and I have been missing that for years.

So I had better get started on the walk now.

Yesterday was a busy day at work, but I still got some studying done, then I slept well, but had nightmares about Bob Hill and hospitals, I have these dreams frequently.

I woke, and got delayed in doing the papers and then had an extra round, so the early start with the walk has been wrecked, I had better get on.

Thursday, 24 March 2016


 Goodish Morning,

Maundy Thursday, the day when the Church really start clogging the road with cars while all their very old people with disabled badges all crawl into church without worrying that Jesus walked the earth to teach about unselfishness.

Anyway, yesterday I tried to get on with the many things I have to do, and in the evening I went to work.
Work was very quiet, so I studied.
It won't be quiet from now on, Easter weekend will be mental.

I am just too tired and too depressed at the moment.

Anyway, I didn't work late, I came home and slept like I was dead, no waking, no dreams.
I woke quite well this morning and did the papers. The local papers were in today instead of tomorrow, but it didn't matter much, and I did my papers and got my copy of the local, then I came home.

I am just trying to get going, but very little is done yet.
I have a notice on the red board, wishing me luck with the Walk. Did I tell you that I may head-start the walk on Sunday due to the potential bad weather during next week? I don't fancy walking on the cliffs in wind and rain, although I have done that twice on previous walks, it is just better if I can progress well this time as I will still be working in the evenings. I will not be doing the papers or leaflets or gardens during next week, but I will be working evenings, I need to keep fed and a roof over my head.
 Yesterday another £25 was pledged for the walk, so that is good.
I got some startled remarks about the walk yesterday, about that first Great Walk when I was still homeless and it was pouring with rain and I had no money for myself so I was eating from compost bins on the way round. Oh the good old days!  I will never forget the end of that walk, staggering soaking wet into the travel terminal, wrapping myself in a blanket but still soaking wet, and then my friend coming to meet me, taking me home to a hot shower and a big hot meal :) and a night indoors out of the cold and wet.

I am officially registered for my music exam in May, so I am excited about that :) wooh! I hope my parents are free that day for a meal out afterwards.  I take my exams near where they live and I have a favourite cafe there.
It was their wedding anniversary yesterday, unfortunately it was an anniversary for another dear person of mine, he lost his wife four years ago.

It is a mild grey day, the start of the rain is later.
I want to get some distribution done, and I am supposed to have a haircut, but my housing benefit hasn't come through so I don't think I can afford my haircut.

I am working this evening and I bet it will be busier, I bet the hotels will be ordering.

Wednesday, 23 March 2016


Good morning,

Well yesterday I was trying to do too much and getting stressed.
In the evening I went to work, and it ended up really busy, although I got half a text book read.
I was home not too late and I went to bed tired.

I slept soundly but my dreams were sad.
I woke and did the papers in the bright sunshine, I have just watched Hollyoaks and I will be going to work soon.

I am gardening this morning, delivery driving tonight, and studying, paperwork and  admin in between.

Tuesday, 22 March 2016


Good morning,

Well actually it is afternoon, I was so scatterbrained this morning though that it took me until 10am to realise I needed breakfast and a shower.
Yesterday I don't know what happened to the day.
But in the evening I went to work, I took my music books with me and revised the whole syllabus while I was waiting for deliveries.

I was back here not too late, and I slept like I was dead,m although towards morning I dreamed sad dreams about my birth family.

I got up and did the papers this morning, it was a hazy morning but it broke into sunshine and that sunshine has lasted, it is quite warm now.

As I said, I was a bit scatty this morning, it was hard to get anything done, but I managed various paperwork and admin tasks, then I went to the beach cafe for a jacket potato and coffee for lunch. It was nice sitting looking at the gentle waves in the sunshine.
Then I went and booked a haircut for Thursday.
Then I did an hour of distribution work.
Then here I am home.

I am still not focussing well, but I have a new potential gardening customer to phone, I have walk plans to draw up, I have uni work to do, etc etc.

I guess I had better get back to scattily battling to get anything done.

I am shocked and saddened to hear about the terrorist attacks on Brussels, I haven't seen or heard much details yet, but I am sure I will before long.

Monday, 21 March 2016

Interview with HG

This is a mean interview, I object.
1. What is your first memory of the sea?
The Solent, Southampton Water and Portsmouth Harbour when my family were in that area when I was a child.We loved to watch the big ships and play on the shipwrecks.
2. Do you remember the Columbo episode on a ship when he got “ship” and “boat” mixed up. Do you know the difference?
 We recently learned about this in maritime archeology and to be honest I think there is a little bit of fluidity in classification, or I simply can't remember how to classify boats and ships.
3. What was the first boat you went on?
 Does Condor Ferries count as boat or ship? :) No, I am not sure, we used to build rafts when I was little, but the first real boat I remember going on was a trip round Southampton Water on a little boat for disabled people, it wasn't much fun because one of the crew kept leaning over me to chat up my carer and I was panicking and I told her so and the crew member wasn't very nice about it.

4. What was the first ship you went on?
Again, does Condor count? actually I had been on other ferries before Condor, my best ship was the tall ship. I also went on the Clipper, which was another of my favourites.
5. Do you know which side is starboard and which is port?
Starboard is right and Port is left, you know I was a sailor so you know I know that.
6. Which ships have you sailed to and from Jersey by? Which did you like the best?
I have been on all the Condor Fast Ferries, and the Clipper. 
7. What was the longest sea journey you have been on? And the shortest?
Between the UK and the Channel Islands probably the longest, I don't know about the shortest, probably skimming boats round the bays in Jersey.
8. 20,000 leagues under the sea time! Have you ever been on a submarine? Would you like to? 
No and No, I would completely freak out on a submarine, even the thought of it makes me scared.
9. Do you know any sea songs or hymns? Polite or otherwise...!
Lots! I used to love it when the French boats were in St. Aubin's harbour because the French Sailors used to sing and play the accordions. 
There is one sea song that I rewote about Jersey but I won't name it here, and of course there is the hymn 'Will your anchor hold' that we used to mock Tim Dakin in that series of Polo cartoons about Dakin drowning in his crypt.
There are a number sea hymns and they remind me of Jersey. 
10. Do you ever get seasick?
Not normally, in really bad  condor crossings I used to stand out on deck and revel in the storm while everyone was being sick inside. I got seasick once on the way to France but I hadn't had breakfast.
11. What is the roughest sea crossing you have been on?
A few awesome ones where the boat nearly didn't go, and had to miss Guernsey, ooh, wild! The crossing was enhanced by the lack of donkeys as well.
12. If you could sail on any boat, past or present, fiction or real, which would it be?
There's a boat, but I can't say it's name, when I was being beaten and locked up for Jane Fisher, all I could do was think about that boat and pretend I was there sailing it. 


Good morning peeps,

The flashbacks were strong this morning so I am only just recovering.

Yesterday I had a quiet day, I watched Hollyoaks and then I went and put petrol in the car and got some groceries.

I didn't get much study or writing done yesterday, it is hard to get back into my routine. But I got a lot of reading done.
I was reading Duma Key again, and then I read Cathy Glass's new book. I like Cathy Glass, I talked to her once, but I think her earlier books were slightly better structured, she is a good writer anyway.

In the evening I went to my new job. It was a quiet shift and they were nice to me, in between deliveries I sat and read my book and they made me coffee :)
I was expecting to work until late, so I had set everything up to come home and go straight to bed, but I actually finished work at 8.45, so I was home in time to watch 'Liar Liar' on +1 before falling into an exhausted sleep.

I woke reluctantly to the alarms this morning, unfortunately straight into such bad flashbacks that it was hard to sort myself out and do the papers.
It has been a difficult morning, but I am showered, dressed, two lots of washing to the laundry and beginning to pull myself together a bit.
My kettle, my white plastic kettle, failed for no apparent reason, so I have descaled the stainless steel one which doesn't make such sweet tea, and I am using that.

I had better do that interview that was sent in response to me being rude about Condor Ferries.
I am working this evening, and in the meantime if I can pull myself together, I will study and write.
It is a grey day with a bit of sunshine and a bit of cloud, the birds are warbling about spring and about mean tree surgeons.

Sunday, 20 March 2016

The plight of the Condor 2

It's becoming an international joke:
 Warning, slow to load and addictive:


Good morning peeps,

It's Palm Sunday, and the Bishop of Winchester has forgotten my donkey again. Any member of your diocesan staff fits the bill.

Yesterday was a funny day.
When I finally had my hot shower, I got into bed in my dressing gown, and I had the laptop on it's tray, I wasn't even sleepy, I just suddenly fell asleep.

I was woken by the phone ringing, and an excited voice on the phone was talking about reservations and how I wasn't to wear my gardening clothes (cheeky!).

So I was suddenly being taken out for a meal.
But I got the phonecall in the afternoon and the meal wasn't until 8pm, so I had plenty of time to wake up and do other things.

I went to take my maps and invoice to the distribution boss, he said a driver had quit and that would impact on my work.
So I unexpectedly ended up with a delivery driving job!
I hope Florence can withstand this.
So I start that tonight. Hmm.

Anyway, so I sat here reading Stephen King instead of revising music, and then I went for this meal.

The place we were eating out is about 20 minutes drive from here, and I got there in good time.
We had a lovely evening. The food was divine, and there were champagne cocktails, although I just had a sip or two, I am not strict tee-total any more than I am strict vegetarian, but I don't normally drink, it is an expensive habit, and because I was driving I mainly had diet cokes.

We really had a great time, the food was truly special, and the conversation was good too, I need a good intelligent debate every now and then.
Eventually I came home, late, and fell into bed and slept soundly.
I dreamed about Bob Hill and hospitals and funerals.
I woke up reluctantly and late, and went to do the papers, I had an extra round to do as well, so I haven't been back long, I am just watching Mel and Joey repeats.
It is a cloudy and cold day, unremarkable.

I need to rest until I start work, so I will rest and study and revise and write  and read and watch tv.
 My mum says I don't know how to relax.

Saturday, 19 March 2016


Good morning peeps,

I am tired.
Anyway, yesterday was mainly distribution work, and by evening, I was too tired to do any creative work.
I watched Hollyoaks and went to sleep.
The problem with being a carer for a nortyperson is, it is very tiring, especially when she is depressed.

I slept through the night but not very comfortable. I dreamed a lot, partly about armies and wars.

I woke up feeling a bit useless, I have had a chest infection and a headache this week so that and the quite severe depression leaves me feeling a bit rubbish.
Anyway, I did my papers and waved to my old lady, every paper round has an obligatory old lady who likes to exchange waves :)
Then I went back to my distribution work, I didn't want to spend the whole day on it, so I went straight from the papers to the distribution.
Well actually I had my paper round wages so I stopped at the shop for essentials, everything had run out at home, groceries, toiletries, cleaning stuff.
I finished the distribution by 10am, it was nice to get home for breakfast and meds.
My blood pressure is very good today.

My friend emailed me the news about Ian Duncan-Smith at some unearthly hour, I haven't looked at details, although it is in the papers and on the news, but I remember Duncan-Smith protecting Greville Janner in the 90s, so I have a feeling, seeing as IDS has treated the disabled so badly himself, that he has used the budget speech as a cover to resign for other reasons.

 Anyway, here I am, enjoying total rest and watching Mel and Joey. It is just over a week until the Great Walk begins, with a few more sponsors coming forward, but still more needed.

I am achy and tired, so I have put the boiler on for a shower with the big shower, which is more fun than the little power shower.
I think it is a lazy weekend, my university work is all in order, distribution work is done, and my friend isn't feeling too well either,  so no cinema  today.

It is a grey cold day, and when I stopped at the bay first thing, the sea was boring, but it has got rough, and there was an ambulance down the cliff.
I think soft bed and films is the order of the day, and I think maybe a hearty meal may help, so I will do garlic and herb butter chicken and roasties for lunch.

I got an indignant shriek from Jersey about my plight of the condor prose, apparently it is a very bad pun, which may mean it is a good pun, but I got sent an interview as a penance, so I will be completing that later when I am less achy and tired.

Friday, 18 March 2016


Good morning you peeps,

Well yesterday I went to collect my mum.

There is a lesson in how tormenting your parents is not a good idea.
My mum brought a giant rabbit with her. Only it was a toy one not a real one.
I wanted a real giant rabbit, because they mow the lawn.

I couldn't believe it, my mum genuinely got a giant rabbit for me.

Anyway, we stopped for lunch at my favourite garden centre.
Then we came home for a coffee and then had a walk down to the sea, we sat on a bench and talked.

We had a nice day, then Mum went home and I didn't know what to do, I was tired and a bit lost after having done my assignments, and quite depressed, as I am at the moment.

So I watched Hollyoaks and sat in bed with my laptop, and went to sleep early.

I didn't have a good night. I had flashbacks in my sleep and I woke in the early hours with a headache.
So I medded up and drank some squash and went back to sleep.
 I dreamed about my recently deceased friend and felt very sad when I woke up.

It was hard to get going with the paper rounds.
But I did the papers and have been watching Hollyoaks, it is hard to get working today, but I must go and do some distribution.

Thursday, 17 March 2016

Plight of the Condor

Someone has to write this poem, but I am really struggling to structure it.

 Engine failure
mechanical issues
weather issues
new boat detained

Goodwill under water
Clipper in for repair
Liberation captured
and Islanders in Despair

Condor literally rammed HD Ferries out of business all those years ago. Now Condor are having an inordinate amount of problems and it is driving Islanders mental.

 The liberation has had problems ever since it entered service, and seeing as it is a new vessel, Condor should be in talks with the people who they purchased the vessel from or comissioned with it's it's creation.

Thursday morning

Good morning,

Happy St. Pats Day, lets get the Guinness and non-PC jokes going.
Pardon any offence.

Yesterday I went and worked in the warm spring sunshine.

Then I had this presentation for University. And I got a bit freaked because there was a problem with the sound and microphone. But the presentation is done, and I only have two assignments left for this year, then it is all revision and end of year exams. Easy downhill.

I didn't really get anything else done as I was tired.
So I had an early night, and had similar dreams to the previous night.

This morning I did the papers with a golden sunrise cheering the world up.

Then I have been cleaning and lazing around, and now I must go and collect my Mother. I have no idea what we are doing today though.

It is glorious sunshine.

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Wednesday morning

Good morning peeps,

I am just going to do the papers in a minute, but I didn't want to lose the vivid dreams I had, so I am writing now.

Yesterday I plodded on with the Uber assignment, which was taking too long, and it was such a nice day that I went out and did two hours of distribution with just the bike. But it was so nice out there on the bike in the sunlight, it was tee-shirt weather and so lovely where I was working along the cliffs.

The sea was calm at first but with surf breaking at the bottom of the cliffs, but as the breeze increased, the waves picked up.

When I got home I got on with the uber assignment and watched some tv. Then just as the Simpsons was on and it was nearly Hollyoaks time, the phone rang. It was the car's best friend and he was outside, ready to jump start the car. The postman must be right about the doorbell not working, I must get someone to check.

Anyway, so the car jump started, and I was instructed to keep the engine running for 10 minutes and then go for a drive to recharge the battery.
So I did, I missed Hollyoaks but I caught up with it all on +1 when I got home.

So Florence is OK, and last night I completed the Uber assignment and handed it in.
I will be gardening this morning, then getting the other assignment done, the other assignment is due in by midday tomorrow but my Mum is here tomorrow so I better finish it today.

Anyway, last night I dreamed, I dreamed I was in Jersey and they had to elect a new Chief Minister, and Montfort Tadier was being put forward by Reform Jersey (but not the city of London), so I was part of the campaign to get him elected, because Reform Jersey said Chief Ministers should be locals and not outsiders.

We did a banner, which had Monty's picture on it and said 'Vote For Monty' and I decided it needed an addition, so I wrote 'I am the Real HG' at the bottom of the banner.
Dunno why.

But then I dreamed that I was being taken over by another frothy church member, who hadn't been 'warned' against me by the church, and I was frustrated and was waiting for the church to tell her I was an untouchable.
I left her with someone who could 'warn her' about me, and I wandered off, and found myself sitting with a vulnerable church man who I know, in a hospital, he was keeping an eye on a man with a brain condition, who the hospital were neglecting.
I felt out of place but it seemed significant and important to sit there with these two men, one who wasn't fully conscious and the other who was making sure he was OK because the hospital didn't have time.

Anyway, at least I slept through the night and the flashbacks were reduced.

It is a grey cold day.

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

An Interview with HG

An Interview about food:
 1. Do you look to see if the vegetables you buy are organic or not? Why? (or why not?)
I can't afford to buy organic vegetables, I can barely afford vegetables.

2. Do you buy free range eggs or battery eggs (usually called “farm fresh!!).
I do buy free range eggs even if they cost more, because I will not deliberately contribute to the cruelty that battery farming is.

3. Do you drink bottled water or tap water when drinking a glass of water?
 I drink tap water, but usually filtered, I can't afford bottled water.

4. Have you ever eaten – snails, frogs legs? 
No, I don't think I have, I am very routine with my food and probably can't afford snails or frogs unless I catch them myself. Now there's an idea! I remember marshalling at Battle when there was that Escargots float, it was my favourite.

5. Jersey dishes – have you eaten congar soup or ormer? Did you like them?
 I have had Black Butter, Cabbage Loaf, Jersey Wonders and Ormer, and also whatever we could catch when low water fishing. I haven't had congar soup as far as I know. Jersey stuff is kind of OK but it is also kind of from a bygone age before imports.

6. A recent article suggested insects are the way of the future for people. Have you ever eaten any insects? Would you like to?
I have occasionally eaten insects when out on my bike. I am not sure that method is very healthy though, and they don't taste nice raw.

7. How do you like your eggs done best? Boiled, poached, fried, hard-boiled, other?
I like boiled or fried eggs, but my tummy doesn't, so I don't often have eggs.

8. Tea or Coffee – which do you prefer? And which kinds of teas / coffees?
 I am bi-caffienal, but with a lean towards tea. I like PG Tips or Typhoo, normal tea, and I like Nescafe Gold Instant Coffee and Wittards non-instant coffee. I can't afford Wittards, my parents sometimes send me some.

9. Do you ever used tinned veg – peas, tomatoes, bakes beans etc?
I have tinned baked beans but I dislike tins, so I don't often use tins. It is the metal that freaks me out.

10. What is your favourite meal? Starter, main and desert!
This is a tough question, I never have starters, I guess parsnip soup is a nice starter, then a nice roast dinner, followed by cheesecake. And then a coffee. Very calorific and very nice. Normally just one course is enough of a meal for me.
Thank you for the interview. 


Good morning peeps,

Yesterday was an odd day.

Well I was trying to get assignments done.

I was also waiting to get the meter done.

By the time the meter was done and I headed out to work. The phone beeped.
I stopped and read the message.
The car's best friend was asking if Florence had broken down some 10 miles away as his partner had seen what she thought was Florence broken down.
I texted back and said no, I hadn't been out there and Florence was on the driveway.

You won't believe this, but I then went out to get in the car and go to do some work, and she wouldn't start!

I texted her best friend with this spooky co-incidence.
Florence has a flat battery, so I have to wait until her best friend can come out with his jump-leads and give her a shock.
Until then, I am kind of stuck here, not that I care in the slightest. I am biking round my paper rounds in the nice light early mornings and it is only tomorrow's work 8 miles away that has to be delayed if we don't get Florence started today.
 I hope she is back on the road by Thursday though, cos Mum is coming over!

Anyway, so I didn't do any work yesterday, I just stressed over assignments and went to bed early again.

I had another restless night with a lot of dreams, the same flashback dreams and then a dream about camping and motels, and then something about Scott-Joynt and his nasty little regime.

I woke up feeling depressed and was down at the shop at 6.05 on my bike, I biked round my round, came home and my blood pressure wouldn't measure but seeing as I wasn't dead, I watched tv and did paperwork and am preparing the final draft of the uber assignment.
It is a bright, sunny and chilly day but no frost.

I am on assignment duty, I would like to get the assignments in and have the end of the week to do distribution and maybe relax a bit and get some manuscript work done.

You have noticed I am not going to the gym? I can't afford my gym subs for the moment.

My blood pressure is off the scale one way or the other after exercise but it is reading well now.

Monday, 14 March 2016

Monday morning

Good morning,

It ius a procrastinating sort of day so far, I feel unmotivated and tired.

Yesterday I finished the cleaning and watched my programmes.
Then I was working very hard with my assignments.
I got so stressed and tense!

Several times I went down to the bay for a half hour break.
In the evening I just got so tired that I went to bed before 8pm, but I was too tense and in flashbacks so sleep wasn't good.

I had terrible violent and anguished flashbacks in my sleep.
But strangely, before I woke I had a very clear and vivid dream about taking part in a protest.
The dream was so clear, I was with other protesters and we were camping in a big old house, the leader told us that in the morning we should collect our bedding and stash it in a certain place, but in my dream I had Florence in a garage nearby, and I was planning on just putting the bedding in her boot.

It was so vivid, are any protests planned that I can join? :) I can bring the balloons.

But anyway, I woke up feeling very depressed and tired. And I don't feel great, how can I concentrate on assignments or even music scores for orchestras this morning?

The weather is just cold.

I should go out on my bike and do some distribution and I should try and get the uber assignment in today if possible. I have a busy week and my Mum wants to come over later in the week.
I want to cancel this biopsy if I can. I don't have cancer and I am battling with the horror of the police and diocese destroyal of me and so having a biopsy is going to be too much for me.

Sunday, 13 March 2016


Good morning peeps,

Well I can barely remember Friday now, I got paid for distribution work and I got some gardening done, and in the afternoon I had a jacket potato at the cafe and then drove along the cliffs and sat watching the sea.

Then yesterday I woke from nightmares about the police and did three paper rounds, it wasn't possible to get going quickly or early so I felt frustrated as I had to get to tutorials and was worried about the fog.
Thankfully the fog didn't stop me, although I felt so ill that when I had finished tutorials I came home and went back to bed after collecting my laundry.

It was a pity about yesterday, normally I would try to stay out and enjoy a break from home for the day, but I was tired and ill and my Mum was also not well so she couldn't meet for a coffee and she says it is a pity as she has a surprise for me. She won't tell me what the surprise is, and I am not so keen on surprises, but I know it isn't a giant rabbit. I keep asking for a giant rabbit.

Anyway, so I slept for three and a half hours when I got home, then to my surprise, the television was working again after another 24 hours of losing signal.
So I watched Big Bang Theory and Back to the Future while cleaning the flat, and then I went to bed, and although I don't recall my dreams, I am having flashbacks, so there must have been dreams.

It looks cold outside, I will shower and then go and do the papers.

Update 9.40am:

Well I went to do the papers, but unfortunately they weren't in, the delivery was late, so the boss said he would phone me when they came in.
So I came home and washed Florence and brushed her interior. Then I took her to the petrol station, got a few pounds of petrol and did Florence's tyre pressures, her tyres were Ok actually, the nearside front was slightly low.

Then I came home and I was just cleaning the fridge while having breakfast (don't try this at home) when the phone beeped, the papers were in.
I went and did the papers, and the boss gave me a chocolate bar for coming back. I met a nice Welsh tourist who stopped to chat,  but I wondered afterwards if it was because I am wearing my daffodil. My daffodil is more to do with Cancer Care than my Welsh roots.

Anyway, it is really hard to get back into cleaning a fridge when you have to go out in the middle of doing so, so I am sitting here. I only have the door shelves and the salad compartment left to do. Apart from that, I just need to wipe the kitchen, finish the bathroom and sweep, mop hoover.

Hollyoaks is on at  10 and Mel and Joey is on at 9, and today is a full study day, two assignments due next week.
Next week is like this: bills, biopsy, assignments, work.
Hmph. I am still hoping that the biopsy will be cancelled, they are not nice and it could make me feel worse.
The diocese's onslaught against me left me with an auto-immune condition that could mutate into cancer. But seeing as I don't think it has, I don't want a biopsy at all, especially as car parking at the hospital is extortionate.


Friday, 11 March 2016

Friday morning

Good morning,

Well it is one of those days. My brain is slightly asleep still.

Yesterday I waited in for the parcel and got on with my assignments.
Then I went to wait for the post but it had already come and they had left a slip saying they couldn't deliver my parcel. I was cross.

I went to look for the postmans, because they will let me have parcels if I go after them. It saves me trekking to the sorting office the next day.
So I caught the postmans and they said they had tried to ring the bell for the flat and maybe it wasn't working.
Maybe they are right, I will get someone to test it for me.
But anyway I got my parcel but I was cross and stressed.

So I went out doing deliveries and I got so caught up in that that I finished the week's work.
That surprised the boss, he said 'you work too quick, no? Almost two lots in a week?'
But he was misremembering, because I finished the last lot on Saturday and he told me to come in on Sunday to be paid, and yesterday was Thursday and I started the work early this week and had more time due to quitting the evening delivery work.

So I am all done delivering this week and relieved, so I start gardening today. Just this morning and then it is back to assignment work.
I am also preparing for my next music exam in May, and the sponsored walk which kicks off on Easter Monday.
And looking at next academic year's modules.
You know my learning difficulties mean that the maths side of the BSc Route quite hard? It looks like I will veer onto BA instead, but I am sure you can imagine that isn't so bad :) I think I know which modules I will be doing. All of this years work will count, so I have not lost anything.

Anyway, last night I was tired so I retired to bed with my laptop and the television :)
I watched Hollyoaks and drifted.
But I was listening to that song, one of the cries of my heart for Jersey, and that didn't help, it isn't time to grieve yet, I have to go on living:

I couldn't grieve when I was homeless or I wouldn't have survived.

Anyway, I fell asleep early again, and slept soundly, but I dreamed.
I dreamed that someone I know but don't like very much, turned out to be a paedophile, and I witnessed him behaving inappropriately, and I confronted him.
This dream was really strange because instead of the Jersey-and-church-style cover-ups, the outcome surprised me. In the dream someone heard me confronting this man, and called the police and then stood there and told us they had heard what I had said and had called the police.
And the police turned up.
The police actually took things seriously and wanted to question me on what I had seen, imagine if that happened in real life!
Anyway. In the dream I was furious with the police because they have treated me so badly in real life.
So I raged at them for what they have done to me, and they stood there looking surprised.
Poor dream-officers, it wasn't all their fault!

Anyway, I woke up thinking 'What on earth!' Because that was way too vivid and cohesive.
And as far as I know that man isn't a paedophile, he is a pritstick and I don't like him but I can't see him being a paedophile.

Anyway, the day started with dyspraxia.
I woke late, 6.30 and struggled to get going.
I opened the curtains and there was a surprise. Looking down to the sea, there was a big orange sun rising out of thick mist, pretty awesome.

I bumped my head getting into Florence and then I made a mistake on my paper round.
I really am clumsy and unco-ordinated today.

I had better go to work now.

Thursday, 10 March 2016


Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday was frustrating because of my messed up sleep and other things.

When I got home from doing the papers, I went back to bed from 7am to 9.45am.

You know how when you have to sleep in the day you lie there waiting for the alarm clock and thinking you must have been in bed for hours?
I did that, and eventually I was more deeply asleep so the alarm went off.
I always feel cold if I go to sleep in the daytime, so I got up feeling groggy and cold, I had to get up because I had this parcel due and I have to sign for it and they take it back if I don't.
But the parcel never arrived.

It rained and I waited for this damn parcel and in the end I went out into the cold and rain and did half an hour's work, came home, no parcel, I was feeling so irritated and lost, really down.
So I did some problem solving, the parcel, which was special delivery for yesterday, will be delivered today.
We didn't get any post yesterday, an interesting pattern when it rains.

Anyway, I could lift the mood even with extra 5HTP and you have to be careful not to overdose that stuff and get seratosis.
I was finding everything hard yesterday because that is what happens if I wake very early.
So eventually I tucked up in bed with a book and with the Big Bang Theory on TV, no laptop, no laptop when I am cross.
So I chilled out and warmed up tucked into bed with a Harry Keeble book and some tv.
Then I got the computer and idly wrote the Flu to Jersey Poem.
I couldn't get my headset configured for tutorials so I had to skip that, so I watched Hollyoaks and had an early night.
I always find that even if I try to catch up sleep during the day, the night after a disrupted night I always sleep late, so it was 6.30 before I obeyed the alarms and scrambled sleepily up.

I did the papers, it is raining lightly.
I was hoping to finish my distribution work for the week today but it will have to be tomorrow now :(

I have to wait in for this parcel so I will get on with assignments and writing for now and do distribution work later.


Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Flu to Jersey

Flu to Jersey
Flu to Jersey
on a seagull to Kingy
Bird flu

They're calling it swine flu
in the States
Business class 
at extortionate rates

Dear Jersey
you are quarantined
If you come to the UK
We Will Deport You

Don't you Dare bring your Flu Here
Duty Free Flu
and use our hospitals 
while calling us Foreigners !

Wednesday 4.15am

Good morning peeps,

Well the wind is blowing the rain against the windows.

I went to bed early but have had a troubled  night. It is rare for me to be up at 4am these days, I left that behind in my last life.

I wasn't sleeping well and when I woke a few hours ago, I was tense, my jaw was hurting which means I was clenching or grinding, but I couldn't get back to sleep even with the bite guard in.

The problem with waking or half-waking in the night is that it can start flashbacks because my mind isn't fully conscious and only knows I am distressed and so it runs through everything I might be distressed about.
I can assure you it isn't fun, and if I don't sink into deeper sleep and can wake enough to get up, then that is the only way out.
The problem with night time flashbacks is they are very hard to record because they fade out suddenly and especially when I am awake I am only vaguely aware of what they were. I am not sure how conscious people are in flashbacks, that is why I had to be careful with driving. But I can usually be steady through daytime flashbacks but night time ones are much worse. This used to worry the psychologist, especially as I used to get trapped between sleeping and waking, well actually that is what has happened this morning.

The problem with being awake at this time is that I have a medicines parcel due today so I need to be awake later, and I have a tutorial this evening too. But I will be wrecked if I don't sleep for a few hours, and I daren't risk more disrupted nights.

I am unlikely to get distribution work done in this weather, which is due to last all day.

Disrupted sleep is another pointer to relapse, so disrupted sleep and losing grip and dropping things, the next phase is exhaustion and possibly pain.

I must get more sponsors for the walk, if you want to sponsor me, send loads of dollars.

Guernsey, get off my blog, you know I hate it!

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Tuesday Evening

Good evening,

I thought I would update this evening instead of tomorrow just to stop myself from being distracted by the blog tomorrow.

Today I got on with writing and studying and also watching E4 loops at the same time.
I got on with some much neglected music, I need to arrange the next exam this month.

I did a few hours of distribution work too, but by the time I was finishing it was raining hard, the rain is here until tomorrow evening, so work won't be much fun for the next day.

Jersey News is that sock-puppet Gorst is demanding a review of all States Travel Expenses. I really look forward to his trip to try to force the Steel report being scrutinized. That was more than a thousand pounds. I must contact the States.
And also, they need a wee reminder about the fantasy film and the ?£200,000? Now who was it who threw that money away? :)
 I don't think the city of London could have chosen a weedier weed than Gorst, I think he should just wear a badge saying 'You Can See I am a Weed, can't you?' Gorst and Dakin are twins in that, they are both so effeminate. Although Dakin is an effeminate homophobic and I don't know if Gorst is.
I need to teach them about being tough and manly maybe.

I am tired, I think I will have another early night. I am dropping things as my grip breaks, that means I am going into relapse. Either that or falling over and landing on my hands wasn't good for me.

As long as I can get out of bed to deliver papers, do distribution and hopefully some gardening at the end of the week, it doesn't matter, I can sit in bed and study and write, and fall asleep and drool on the computer...

Life is very boring and I live in fear of my life all the time because of the Church of England.


Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday was a long day of writing, assignments, assessment preparation, blogs and other writing.

I went out on my bike to do an hour of distribution, but I did feel quite tired, biking in the cold.

When I got home I had bad luck. I tripped over the step when I put my bike away and went smack onto the concrete path.
The worst thing was, I had the bike keys in my hand and they went flying.

For 10 minutes all I could think was that they had fallen into the gulley alongside the path, so I was using a pea cane to dredge it.
No keys.
Eventually I reconsidered the situation and looked over the wall.
There were my keys, they had taken a flying leap into the neighbour's driveway!

I crept into my flat feeling very woebegone. (look it up).

I managed to smack my good knee on the ground and it aches, but I am walking sound.

I continued my writing until it was time to go to work.
You know how unhappy I have been working there? It was harsh working there, being the only English person and being excluded and the atmosphere all blame and bickering, a bit like that lodging house that I walked out of the other Christmas.
And I told you I was going to quit if there was any more hassle?
I quit last night.

I was there early as I often am, I never mind starting work early and I usually do, although I don't get paid extra.
I got there, had my study books and a tub of fish and rice for my supper with me.
I went in and the boss just grunted 'Three for you' meaning deliveries.
So I grabbed my deliveries, but one didn't have a proper address on it, again. It just said 'Hotel', now I am sure if any of you are told 'Hotel' when you have a whole bay full of hotels, you ask which one.
I asked several times and the boss was snappy and just told me the second hotel, all I could do was go to 'the second hotel' who said they had no guests yet and what was the name on the ticket? There was no name on the ticket.

I am self-employed and will never get a proper job because of the diocese of winchester, the delivery people pay me five pounds an hour, which is well under the minimum wage, and I have to pay tax and national insurance myself.
So I don't like working in an atmosphere where I am excluded for being English and where this new guy gets too close and now he is constantly leaving me with messed up orders and I get the stress for it, the work is not good for my car and the only reason I do this work is to subsist, keep a roof over my head and some food on the table and the bills paid if I am lucky. There is no welfare benefits system so I can't do anything but do sweat work and be exploited in order to survive.
But anyway, there wasn't enough positive there for me to keep that job.

So I quit last night, and quitting never feels good, so I went for a drive while the glorious sunshine turned to a glorious sunset and a cold clear night.

I came home and watched Hollyoaks and felt tired, so I went to bed early. I slept soundly with just one vague dream, and woke feeling too warm and comfy and lazy, but I was at the shop by 6.15am.

And here I am, just going to watch Hollyoaks before I start the day's writing and studying.
I will get a few hours of distribution work in today if the weather doesn't turn too soon.

The sunrise was awesome again, and I went down to the sea at the end of the road after I had done the papers.
But despite the endlessly clear sky earlier, it is already clouding over. A very cold day but no frost on the car.

We have rain due today and tomorrow, so I will start gardening on Friday.

Monday, 7 March 2016

New Blogs

Good evening peeps,

I have been doing more writing and blogging. Some of my writing is university assignments and revision that I am putting more effort into now,  but I do have two new blogs that I have just started.

One is A Hollyoaks Critique, well you know I love Hollyoaks but am always finding unrealistic things in storylines? I thought I would start blogging it and it is simple and with few words as yet.

The Other New Blog is a new fightback to the horrible feeling of flashbacks that trigger repressed memories and leave me distressed and frustrated at being voiceless while the other side is heard.

Here are the  blogs:

Monday - let's talk about Guernsey

Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday I watched Hollyoaks and watched park of it again on +1.
I was tired so I actually did a ready roast chicken dinner, which was nice, and yes it had chicken.
Chicken and turkey are not so bad, no fat and much healthier than red meats, so it is best that if I break my vegetarian diet it is with chicken or turkey.

After lunch I watched Home Alone 2 and Back to the Future while I cleaned the flat and got some writing and studying done.

In the evening I was paid for distribution work, so I kicked Florence into a trot to the petrol station, Florence was low on petrol and tired.
After that I went down to the sea.
Then I got some shopping on the way home.

I am very happy that I am doing everything on Sunday that the narrow and petty old Church people would criticise me, although it means I will end up in hell with them?

I was so tired last night, I fell into bed and slept.

Unfortunately I had one of my recurring dreams, about Guernsey.
Funnily enough a load of Guernsey blog stats have come up through the night.
Presumably when Fisher went to Guernsey when the diocese no longer oversaw the Channel Islands, she was there to cook up trouble against me and do what presumably the Jersey Deanery were doing, trying to make out I had made complaints against the Lihous etc. Reality is, the Deanery and Diocese used the Lihous and Warrens and Honours to try to make me out to be a troublemaker, and my side was never heard.
The Church arer very dishonest like that.

Anyway, so I was dreaming about Guernsey, this awful recurring dream where I end up living there and the Lihous are there, I can't imagine them living in Guernsey and not being able to boast about Guernsey any more, but they never were short of things to boast about, so I am sure it is just fine.
 There is no danger whatsoever of me ever moving to Guernsey and even while I keep dreaming it is majorly pisses me off, because who would want to live on boast island and so close to the Lihou-Warren-Honour Family and their vanity and boasting and lack of integrity, they are Godless as hell and I have no idea why they go to church apart from that it is the Church of England, and the Church of England is there for people like them.

I remember when Jon Honor was a curate at Reading before being sent to the Channel Islands Clergy Bin. Jill was being hysterical and telling me how the Vicar at Woodley had thrown a glass of water in Jon's face because they didn't get on and they disagreed on something (I Baptise you!)  Anyway, Jill said that one of Jon's three children had been there and had been so upset at seeing a glass of water thrown in Jon's face that she thought she had better take this poor grandson on a skiiing holiday to help him recover.
So funny, firstly because as far as Jill was concerned it was all the vicar's fault and not Jon's and secondly because the idea of taking a child on a skiing holiday because he saw someone throw a glass of water in his Dad's face is ludicrous and hysterical, and my comments about how I should spend the rest of my life on a skiing holiday were met with blank confusion. And that was before the Church completely destroyed me, although they were damaging me horrifically through the Lihous and they certainly played a major part in destroying me.
Isn't it funny how the Church's 'safeguarding' focussed on publicly destroying me for my perceived mental illness while protecting the Lihous and their unChristian family and how Jill Lihou's mental illness and lack of boundaries harmed me.

Anyway, so I woke up feeling annoyed, and it was a cold and frosty morning, the sun rose very red into a clear sky that quickly clouded over, there was a thin frost on the car and I got the papers delivered early and quickly and am back at my desk and writing.
I am not going to Guernsey, I can't stand the smug little finance industry rock and I hate them viewing my blog.
Their Churches run by the Lihou-Honor-Warren family are teaching what is left of the believers on the island what the antiChrist looks like. Anyone like that family, who play a part in maligning and condemning someone to cover up wrongdoing, have no right to use the Name of Jesus or God, and He won't be pleased with them. No service they have done while involved in my case is valid, so they have invalidated whole congregations.
Why am I wasting writing on them anyway?
It is funny how they condemned me and illegally violated my privacy so much while also complaining to me about their family. Jill used to tell me about Phil and Heather's marriage problems and how the grand daughters were spoilt and selfish etc, she used to just come out with this stuff, and more, but I shouldn't be writing this on my daily blog, should I, have you noticed how bad dreams and nightmares make me come out with this stuff?

Today I am mainly writing and studying and this evening I should be delivery driving, but if there is any hassle at work, I will quit.

Sunday, 6 March 2016


Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday I finished my week's distribution work.
Then I had shopping to do, shopping on a Saturday as if I was a normal person!
I got a new connector for the tv lead, and more de-icer and other things I needed.

I didn't get paid for distribution yesterday, so I am low on petrol and food.
I had to collect two lots of laundry yesterday, including my blankey duvet.

I haven't paid my gym subs yet due to being low on money, so I am not gymning at the moment but the amount of walking and cycling has been good, and it is good to have a week off, it reminds me not to be obsessive.

I did a lot of writing yesterday but the flashbacks have been awful.

But the good news, the electrician who lives downstairs came round and fixed the tv point, so I am reuinited with my tv, and especially Melissa and Joey right now. Did I tell you about the time I was watching Melissa and Joey, the episode with the pregnancy test, and I was doing my blood pressure while watching, and I sent the blood pressure machine screaming mad because I was laughing so much.
 Anyway, Hollyoaks Omnibus 10am. Don't miss it.

Last night I had really vivid and upsetting dreams and flashbacks, so I was unhappy and reluctant to get up this morning, and then the car needed serious de-icing too.

I did the papers and the early morning sun was glorious but now it is clouding over.

Today is a lazy day of writing and assignments, I may do the cleaning but the flat looks remarkably neat and tidy and I have no idea why, maybe I was sleep cleaning? You wouldn't be surprised, I woke  myself up talking in my sleep last night, but as long as I wasn't dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, I don't mind.

I forgot to say 'Happy Mothering Sunday!' To all you mothers out there.
I was a good girl, I sent my Mum a card. I was talking to her yesterday and she said she got the card but wasn't going to open it until today.
I had no idea that you are supposed to save things like Birthday Cards or Mother's day cards until the day, but my Mum says so :) I told her I didn't know that because I am not a  mother.

Saturday, 5 March 2016


Good lunchtime, peeps,

You will be pleased to know that yesterday's police wasn't the Diocese's fatal blow to me that we have been waiting for for so long,they were after one of the neighbours who they wanted to batter and lock up or sit and have a civil conversation with, depending on his status.

Maybe I shouldn't have bollocked the diocese yesterday, well yes I should, they should not be creating a situation where I fear for my life and liberty and remain branded without a voice.
It's a human rights issue.

Anyway, so my evening was wrecked and I was having flashbacks.
I was also missing my blankey, my blankey is a soft lightweight duvet that comforts me, but it needed a wash for where I had been poorly one day. Sometimes spray and cloth doesn't work, only a laundry can mend it.
So last night I felt like in the last months in Jersey, ever so cold and frightened and alone.

This morning I was awake nice and early but I was battling to do something on the computer so by the time I got outside at 6.30, I then had to battle to de-ice the car as a heavy frost was on everything.
I used the last of the de-icer too.

I did the papers and went straight from there to do distribution work, and I have been doing that today.

It is a bitter cold day, with frequent but poor efforts to snow.

I didn't realise my neighbour had been back in hospital until I saw him today, he is plugged into his oxygen tank and waiting for his groceries to be delivered.

I am tired, my work and my fear of the diocese, which isn't unfounded as they have slandered me locally and they have branded me so I can't get proper work, is simply to much for me sometimes, this life branded and ruined and waiting for the diocese to kill me is intolerable.

Friday, 4 March 2016


Good morning peeps,

It is a glorious sunny day, and if you aren't playing Brimful of Asha on top volume, then you should be:

This song is one of my life sound tracks, I remember it on the big screen, and I remember my sister and her colleagues singing along to it and making naughty faces as they did. I had to learn not to shake my head like the girl in the video does because it makes my poor spine very sick.

Anyway, let me update the diary.

Yesterday I got some distribution work done, and I dropped off some of my business cards to any house I saw that looks like they might need a gardener. The gardening season starts next week for me, with a few hours for one of my previous regular customers.

I came home and got on with study and writing, and also trying to get some business flyers designed for the gardening work. I struggled with the design so I contacted the company that produce the flyers for me, who did the business cards for me last year, and they sent me a £10 credit and some advice and said that they could produce the flyers if I just tell them what text I want on the flyers. They are pretty good, their customer services tend to be helpful like that.

Anyway, so in the evening I went to work on delivery shift.
And it was a bit of an evening. I was working without my satnav but that turned out not to be a problem, because thankfully it was all regulars or roads I knew, some that I knew through distribution or paper delivery work.
The problem wasn't me in the end. The boss was away and the new guy was making a real mess of things.

I am supposed to finish 9pm if it is quiet and 9.30 or 10 if it is busy, but when the boss is away no-one knows what is going on.
This new guy was doing the orders as well as getting in my way.
He massively messed up a regular order just before 9pm and it was horrible weather with wind and heavy sleet.
So I was chasing around and this guy doesn't speak much English so he couldn't tell me what was going on but he kept sending the wrong order and not telling me if it was a card order. So I didn't know what to record and no-one could tell me.
In the end I didn't cause a row, the recipients of the delivery did, the man stormed in and a massive row kicked off while I stayed in my chair feeling extremely miffed.
Miffed. That's a fun word.

Anyway, so I ended up staying until 10, but I wonder if I should take up another job if I can find one, working there is rocky and it gets nasty sometimes.

I came home tired and fell into bed and into nightmares about the Church of England.
I woke all muddled and muzzy at 6.20am and remembered to put my clothes on before going to do the papers.
Local papers day, but it was OK, it is NOTHING like the ordeal that local papers day was when I used to do the villages, it is nothing these days.
The sun rose into a glorious sunny day, and I came home and started studying while watching Hollyoaks online, I had already seen it in preview but never mind.

Then I went for a study breakfast at the café.
University is changing shape a bit now. This is how it looks.
I have one assignment left in each of two of my modules, and two in the other. I took two exams this week and got 66 and 92 in them, I can retake the 66 if I want. But then I have two more small exams like that.
Then all I have is three end of year assessments, one for each module, in May.
So after the end of next month the assignments stop and I start revising.

Today I have distribution work and then just study and writing.

Thursday, 3 March 2016


Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday was a stupid day.
I was going to do supplementary study and writing, and I did get a bit done.

But due to the papers being late, I had to go out and struggle with the traffic and roadwork in order to get the papers out.
Our local road teams aren't very good and we get dodgy temporary lights everywhere and the lights never change.

Anyway, I got the papers done and got on with writing and study.

Then I was going to go and do distribution work after lunch, but the hail and wind meant I couldn't until about 1.30, so I went out then, but the icy wind was exhausting to work in, so after a few hours I came home, I got into bed and I was so cold, I didn't warm up for ages and then the phone rang.

It was 4pm, the car had almost no petrol and the paper shop wanted me to come back out in the cold wind and do 2 paper rounds.

However, they paid me cash in hand.
One of the rounds was all house names so even if my sat nav had been working, it would have been tricky.
I got the rounds done and went for petrol.

I came home and the time I had put aside for supplementary study was gone, so I continued anyway and didn't get any writing done.
I did finish reading 'Cell' as well.

I slept a bit restlessly, I dreamed that Bob and Florence both died, but Florence was easily replaced and of course Bob was irreplaceable.

I woke and went to do the papers at about 6.15, it is a cold morning but no frost, already getting light when I went out.
I stopped on the cliff on the way home, and watched the sun rising above a bank of cloud towards the clear pale sky.

Here I am ready to write and study, and sending funny messages with my mate.

By the way, the Uber Assignment got an 86 grade, so my assignments read 73-73-86 for that round.

I must now start the next lot.

You may have noticed no gym yesterday due to the late papers, I need to top my membership up, so I will do that and go on Friday or Saturday.

Wednesday, 2 March 2016


Good morning peeps,

Yesterday I got a lot of writing and studying done and went down to the sea at sunset.
I am also reading 'Cell' by Stephen King, it isn't one of my all-time favourites but at it helps to stop working and read a book sometimes.

I slept kind of ok, for some reason I couldn't sleep on my back.
This morning I was just drifting between sleep and waking when the phone rang.
Unfortunately I thought it was the alarm, missed the call and there was no credit to read the message, but I knew it was from the paper shop. So I went and they told me the papers were two or three hours late.
So I came home, did my housework and some writing, did meds, weight, blood pressure, shower, breakfast, and just as I started writing this, I got a message that the papers were in.

Today I need to find out from the people I do distribution, what they would like me to do, and I will do up to four hours work depending, and apart from that, writing or study.
The manuscript I am doing, which isn't going to be a big one, is on 20,000 words, and the CofE don't need to worry as it is nothing to do with them.

It is a cool and windy day but not frosty.

Tuesday, 1 March 2016


Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday I did wash the car.
I got a lot of writing done and some study.

Work in the evening was boring, and there's this new guy who hangs around me and that is creepy, I have tried to make it clear that I don't like this. Maybe I will have to thump him like that guy when I was on that working holiday last year. I don't care what the Church of England think, I am not on earth to be used by men and I am entitled to defend myself, although the Church have made sure I will be treated viciously and unjustly by the police if it ever comes to that.

Anyway, my satnav broke as well :(

I am happy to say that I don't have another driving shift until Thursday now :)

I was tired and hungry when I got home, so I had some vegetable pasta and fell into bed and slept.

I slept quite well and woke this morning knowing I had had dramatic dreams, but not remembering them.
I did the papers, and it is a cloudy and rainy day, so I am home and sitting in bed to study and write.

It will rain all day so I may as well write and study all day.

I would just like to add a welcome to one or two new readers, thanks for taking the time to read the blogs, welcome.

Also to say that I notice the stats go up when I talk about going out and doing social activities, is that by any chance because you place bets on whether I actually do go out in the end? :) I know what I'm like, it is always the weather, the car, the expense or just not feeling like it. But if you bet on the pizza date, you will notice I not only went, but really enjoyed it.
Email me if you place large bets and need to swing the bet, for a cut of the profit I will see what I can do!

Also forgot to mention leap year yesterday, did anyone propose? The female DJ on the radio proposed to her fellow DJ on air as a joke, he said no.
I think I used to remember days and events, but this year I forgot valentines and Chinese New Year, well I forgot to mention Chinese New Year as it was a very busy day. Valentines day I got one sweet little card. I don't really approve of valentines day, but I like Chinese New Year, we were going to go out, but it was the weather that cancelled that, not me.