This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Tuesday Evening

Good evening,

Well I walked along the bay, but although the waves were rough, they were not awesome, I got a few pictures.

Then I went to the chattery shop, and wandered around doing odds and ends, finished early for the interview.

The interview was along the bay, so I came home and re-assembled myself and walked along the bay to the interview, feeling as if I was walking to my doom.

Actually I had a very good interview. They started by simply giving me a pen, paper and clipboard and tipping me out into the grounds to assess the grounds and write what I could see that needed doing.
My speciality, lists, and working alone on my initiative, which is what I do anyway.
So I wandered around and apparently they needed five minutes to look at my list, the lad seemed quite cheerful about it 'Give them another five minutes' he said cheerfully after his walkie talkie spoke to him, so I was chatting to the guy at the desk about my work and his dog and things.

Then the interview questions.
I met two directors and they said they liked my list, and they alternately questioned me and got me to do a plant identification test, which I passed, apparently got 100% but I think I fluffed one plant.
But I was good enough, I didn't look silly at all.

So, the interview generally went well. Ok, some of the questions were tricky, but I am pleased to say, I was one of 8 shortlisted and I certainly had a good interview.

My employability course for myself is quite good, a bit like my being my own carer, maybe I should take over the NHS and the DWP, only joking!

I came home, feeling a bit like people do feel after something like that, it is hard to focus, but, I did sausages, beans and special potatos for my tea, and did the bins and the washing up and the surfaces.

The cat has spent most of the day on the stairs, but now he is on my bed, looking like lemur.

The high winds continue but no flooding or really serious damage, although there have been a few trees down.

Tuesday Morning

Good morning,

Well, galeforce winds hit us during the night, it really howled, and it is still howling, unfortunately the winds mean that one of my two interviews has already been cancelled as the interviewer is from outside the area and cannot get here because of the weather! Unfair. But they are hoping to interview me tomorrow, according the message, although how I can do that when I am on the grounds team, I don't know. Tomorrow is my last day on the grounds team before Easter and the Great Walk.

Anyway, I was tired and went to bed early after a bath last night, the cat was going to stay, but he started biting me, he is a strange cat, so I tipped him out.
I slept, but I had a lot of vivid dreams.

I dreamed that we were under some sort of communist regime where people had to wear stripes if they had been abused or had relationships and that way no-one could make accusations of abuse. I was very focussed in the dream and I disputed this regime and said that some people could not simply disclose abuse and get stripes, they have to do it in their own time. I don't think we are quite as bad as that regime in real life, but certainly from comments I see on press and media articles about abuse, people are very ignorant and very cruel to abuse victims.

Anyway, the next dream was about sponsored events, I dreamed I got my walk mixed up with at least two other sponsored events, and I got very confused, and kept trying to start my walk or join other sponsored events.  Again it was very vivid.

I woke up to the howling wind, my housemate had either come in early or come in during the night and was going out again.

The cat is on the stairs, gnashing his teeth thoughtfully and looking like a little monster, well he is a little monster, I think the wind unsettles him.

So, my first interview is cancelled and that takes some of the pressure off, and I will go and look at the sea and get some pictures before I go to the charity shop.

Monday, 30 March 2015

Monday Evening

Good evening,

Well, what a day. My open letter to Korris seems to have provoked a reaction.
Never mind that, I do not know why that provoked a reaction when the others didn't.

Anyway, this morning I biked along the front, the waves were large and fluffy, I came home and put the lunch on, chop, potato and vegetables, a meal to give me energy for my work.

I got on with admin, and my housemate brought the new man home, err.

Anyway, the weather held and I went to do my garden clearance work, and came home after that, tired and full of thorns.

I got a phonecall offering me ANOTHER interview tomorrow.
So now I have two interviews to fit round my work. All good practice. Makes for a very nerve-wracking day though! Just add the dentist and a beating from the Diocese of Winchester's police.
No, don't.

Anyway, I have watched the Simpsons and Hollyoaks, and now I am watching them on repeat on 4+1. I need a bath, with thorn remover, and back restorer in it! :)

I looked at the weather forecast and screeched in disbelief. We have had gales but the windspeeds on the chart for tonight and tomorrow are incredible! I hope those bags of garden rubbish don't blow away.

Monday Morning _ Easter Week

Good morning,

Last night I went for a walk. I walked down to the bay and walked along the shore, the waves were roaring, I walked all the way along, my usual cycle route, the bay and five mile road were deserted and the cliffs loomed dark in the night, and the ships at anchor glowed on the bay, and I just walked peacefully.
Eventually I came home.

I let the cat stay in my room because he was too comfy to move, so he stayed on the bed, warm, purry, and hogging the covers, no wonder people stay single, sharing the duvet is no fun at all.

But the cat was a great comfort as I had another night of violent nightmares, I do not know where these nightmares are coming from as I haven't been watching horror or even Buffy, the nightmares are mainly about death and murder and violence. Awful.
Anyway, the cat was comforting, but he decided to go at about 3am.

I woke this morning at about 9am, new time, would have been 8am old time, I am still not used to the new time. But I woke to glorious sunshine, and a silent house, because my housemate never came home last night. The cat was getting worried and meowing at our doors.

I have no work this morning, I am supposed to be doing admin, but my garden this afternoon may be cancelled anyway because the bad weather will return later. Grr, I don't want to work over the Easter weekend, but I may have to work on Easter Saturday.

Anyway, I have had breakfast and I am dressed, the bed is made and the windows and curtains are open, my music books are ready, and I may make the most of this brief good weather before the bad weather comes back by biking down to the bay.

Well, this time next week, the Great Walk will have started. Hopefully I will be several hours into the walk by this time, and reaching point one of a four point first day. £55 was pledged over the weekend.

The Great Walk:

It surprises people,
worries some,
I walk 70 miles,

the terrain is rugged,
but stunning,
I walk quietly and think
and remember,

But why?
Well, to repay,
to help people,
to try to replace my inability to love
with compassion for others,

I walk because I need time out,
a change,
a holiday, 
but most of all to help others 
and show compassion.

Sunday, 29 March 2015

Sunday Evening

Good evening,

Well this morning, the clocks changing did upset things a bit.
I woke at what used to be 7.20am, only it was 8.20am now, and I was tired and achy, so I slept for another hour.
I got up, aching from the impact of the work I did yesterday and probably some from the pillow not supporting me.

I did my tea and toast, the galeforce winds howled outside.

I started a new open letter, and started the housework too.

I hadn't showered by 11am, so I hadn't been out, so by the time I was showered and dressed, it was time to put the lunch on.

Lunch was turkey steaks with roast potatos, carrots and gravy, followed by merangue with fat free yogurt and fresh fruit. Normally I have honey and rasperry yogurt, but the store had run out, so I had funny apricot yogurt that I don't like so much.

After lunch, I continued the letter and got on with my housework and tasks and my task list for the week.
I had a walk after lunch because the wind was too strong for biking, the sea was wild but I had missed the high tide, I will have another walk shortly though.

I finished the open letter and have done a lot of household tasks.
The cat is asleep on my bed.
I have done my music as well.

My housemate has been out a lot, so it has been a quiet strange day, with the usual routines a bit thrown by the clocks changing, it feels like time is all over the place and not at all what the clock says, normally time is just what the clock says.

I am still baffled by the DVD tv connection, it is not scart to scart, it is scart and three adaptors and even so, I can't get it set up.

Those of you who are wondering if I still do swim and gym, yes, but not at the moment because I am so busy, and I am doing a lot of exercise through being a gardener again.

Saturday, 28 March 2015

Saturday evening

Good evening,

It is a good thing I don't have any work tomorrow, because I have already set my clocks and they are reading 23.30pm, and tomorrow morning I will probably be woken an hour early and will be tired and crotchety.
I have set both my clocks and the two in the kitchen, the phone and computer ones will set themselves.

I am waiting for my washing to finish, we have both had problems with the washing machine and had to redo our washing, but I have cleaned the lining to prevent further problems.

This morning I did some admin while it rained, then headed for the charity shop with a bag of donations from my landlady, then I went and dug that vegetable patch, it isn't ideal to dig it when it is wet, but the soil is good and if I didn't do it today, it might never get done, especially with a four day week and the Great Walk coming up.

So the veg patch was dug but my body isn't what it used to be, and the digging put such strain on me, I am simply hoping that I will continue to get better.

After the digging, I went to get some photos of my work I do on the grounds team, then I accepted a lift home from a friend.

When I got home, I realised I needed bread and washing powder.
The problem with the bread I use, a small wholemeal loaf, the only bread I am allowed, is that it runs out quickly.
So I biked down to the shore and along the front, the sea was wild in the strong wind, but on the way back heading into the wind, it was a struggle that made me feel ill. We have strong gales forecast.
I biked back via the shop and got bread and washing powder.

When I got home I had a bath to ease my aching muscles, then I watched 'The Parent Trap' as it is a favourite, and the cat came and kindly walked up and down my back before going to sleep there, it is very helpful actually, he is like a little massage machine with his soft firm paws, and then the heat of his body as he curls up on my back, very nice. It is nice to lie on the bed and relax and watch a film.

The problem was, the parent trap went on until 9 and I didn't get my washing on until one of the last breaks, and for some reason I decided to do a chicken soup as well, and that is when I realised I had potatos to use up, so I did special potatos, and prepared the potatos and carrots for tomorrow's meal, peeled, sliced and put in water with salt.

Then I did the bins and swept the kitchen floor.

So, it has now got very late, because I have changed the clocks, and the washing machine is still going, I just need to hang the washing up before I go to sleep.

No more work until Monday Afternoon now, and then it is a short and rather different working week, I am already making sure my autistic brain knows what is going on, keeping the anxiety and confusion low.

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday and the Bishop has failed to even make a token effort to get me a donkey for the ride to WInchester.

Saturday morning

Good morning,

Well it was the usual scramble to get to work yesterday. I hope it doesn't get worse when the clocks change!
Although my whole routine goes to pot in the coming week. I am doing a different shift on Tuesday due to an interview in the afternoon, then Wednesday is my last shift on the grounds team for a while because I am not working on Good Friday and then the Great Walk starts on Easter Monday, for a week. It is all going to be different, so I hope I will be waking up in time when things get back to normal.
I have checked the long range forecast for the Great walk and it looks really good, I just need to check footpaths and do a little point-to-point map, it is fairly easy because I have done this enough times now, but it is never good to be over-confident, as I found out halfway through the last walk.
This time I have support and I am not having to personally collect the sponsorship money either, so it is going to be lovely.

Anyway, back to yesterday, I got to work in time, a bit early, which I prefer, and I had plenty to do, none of it very interesting, but I worked hard, removing grass from gravel, we all hate that? :) pruning, cutting back, edging, putting in a new border, removing large stones from the gravel, all sorts of little jobs, working steadily, using a bit more energy than I had, because I am still not work fit really, although I am improving.

Anyway, I managed to get the sequence of buses that got me home earlier, those who don't know about the buses, they are a bit hit and miss and everything is one or two bus rides from home.

I was tired and aching so .I watched the Simpsons, I was always ok with the Simpsons but since starting work again, they have become part of my routine.
I did chicken for supper, had a bath, did some paperwork and briefly did my music before having an early night. My housemate was out all night.

I woke this morning to wind and rain, still no hope of digging the garden I have to dig, and time is running out, I need to get it done while the owners are away.
So I have been trying to get the cat to let me take photos of him but he turns away every time.
My housemate is home, she seems tired.
I am doing some admin now, I must look up the status of the footpaths on the Great Walk, the boss says about £500 has come in for the walk.
Those who know I do this walk in November or December, I am trying out an early spring walk.

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Thursday Evening

Good evening,
Excuse the lack of blog. I have been a bit busy.

Yesterday morning I felt rubbish and I was worried about my day at work, but I headed for work.
Unfortunately the cat decided to puke just as I was going out the door, and he is elderly and he only vomited fluid, so I had to stop and make sure he was OK. Stupid cat, it was bin day and he had probably been checking out the neighbour's bins.

Anyway, I scrambled to work.
And I had a very pleasant day, weeding, pruning, tidying and removing ivy from buildings, it was a fine sunny day.
Then I headed home, tired.

My housemate was hoping I would go to the quiz, I was too tired, but they won without me and I got some chocolate sent home.
I had a shower-bath and felt very tired. Did my music and some writing.

I got an upset stomach, the IBS kind, and forgot where I had put the medicine, because I so rarely get IBS.
I had an early night but was woken by stomach cramps, got up and sorted it out and then slept a peaceful night.

I woke this morning to battering rain and wind, useless for the garden I was due to dig this morning.
So I did admin and paperwork, collected two letters from the post office, and did a quick clothes wash, and eventually headed for the shop for my shift, taking with me a bag of donated stuff from my landlady.

At the shop I swept and washed the stairs and did some stock sorting, the schoolgirl volunteer came in and it was so quiet and everything was done, so I got to finish early, which was useful because it gave me time to go and get a scart lead for the DVD player, and get stuff for tomorrow's lunch and then collect one prescription and drop one off and get the prescription made up at the chemist before coming home.
Working kind of makes it harder to do routine things, so they have to be cleverly fitted in.

Those who have not been following my work progress. I started off working in a charity shop, defiantly regaining some of what the church of england ripped from me and spat on, my volunteer work, and of course at risk of them ripping it off me again. Then I started working on a volunteer gardening team, then moved on to my first job interview in a commercial nursery and being offered a job, that I decided would not work due to the hours and pressure, going self employed had been in the pipeline anyway, and I am now a self-employed gardener and cleaner, I am only working low hours for pay and am still doing more volunteer work than paid work, much as I love it,  and am hampered by not having own transport but I have achieved against the odds.
The diocese remain a threat to my whole life, and there is still no guaruntee that they and their illegal actions won't destroy all this or kill me, in the meantime I can only go on living.
I have been offered another job interview on a grounds team next week though. Paid.

The Simpsons was good today so I will watch the repeat on 4+1 before I start doing surgery on the DVD player.

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

Wednesday morning

Good morning,

Well I had a night of terrible, shocking nightmares, but I woke to a grand sunny morning.
I am tired and aching but I am dressed and ready for work.
My housemate has already left for an early shift, she only works nearby, I work two bus rides away.
She was talking about the quiz, but I am tired and aching before the day starts and she may be too tired after her shift.

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Tuesday evening

Good evening,

I am tired.

I went to town this morning, did the documents. Shopped for a few essentials and found a heap of bargain photo frames in a charity shop, just what I need for my ongoing photo and heritage project.
I had lunch in town and went to the charity shop.
At the shop I tidied up and sorted stock and made tea, and de-scaled the kettle and did the washing up and cleaned the loo and steamed loads of clothes.

A whole load of clothes in my size were in, and after owning only three pair of jeans, one of which are too short, I now own 8 new pairs of jeans and trousers, to go with my new tops, and I was also given a pair of boots, proper ladies boots, not like my work boots or walking boots, so I am all smart, I have a wardrobe, how posh.
I was also given a few gardening books.

So by the time I left work at 5pm, I was loaded down with stuff, and I had to get some groceries too.
I arrived home heavily laden with things, and at home a letter and a parcel were waiting.

The parcel was a music manuscript for my practice, and the letter was a copy of my Birth Certificate. I have never seen my full Birth Certificate, and it settled a few things, but it was eerie to see that this copy of it was issued on the same day this year that my Birth was registered on all those years ago. There have been a few spooky co-incidences recently.

Anyway. I was tired and didn't want to do my chores.
I watched the Simpsons and had a shower bath as I didn't have time this morning.
Then I put some turkey steaks under the grill and did the bins.
Then I made my packed lunch for tomorrow while I did and ate my supper. One lot of washing up that way.
Then I did my music practice.

Now I have evicted the cat and I am having an early night, too tired.
I would say it has been a productive day.
I want to know more about the debate in Jersey, what was the result on the finance for the COI?

Tuesday morning

Good morning,

I slept reasonably well but woke at 5am from a strange dream about ships.
I went to the loo, opened the window and slept again, I dreamed lovely delicious dreams that the Diocese of WInchester were brought to justice and stopped harming me forever.
I didn't want to wake up of course, but I did, and I sat on the patio with my housemate and the cat as we drank our tea, the cat didn't drink tea, it just licked itself and bit me.
It is a glorious spring day, and I am going into town on business before going to my shift at the shop.

Monday, 23 March 2015

Monday evening

Good evening,

Well I have been feeling quite down.

I have done a lot of music practice and also done some good work this afternoon.
I have had some 5HTP but I guess everyone has down moods at times and you cannot really change that.

The cat is asleep on my bed, all in a ball, but I will have to evict him soon as I want an early night, no point in prolonging a blue day.

Tomorrow I intend to wander into town with some documents and then go to my shift at the charity shop.

Monday morning

Good morning,

Well I had a troubled night, nightmares, sad dreams that JM kept trying to come back into my life and I couldn't let her and I didn't know why, because in my dream I had no memory of the horrors of what has happened, just sadness, and there was a funeral.

I woke at 2am and the cat was making a noise, and I went to the loo, felt sad, and slept again, I was hot and restless and uncomfortable. I need to adjust the pillows and support my head better.

I woke feeling grumpy, the linens look like they were never ironed and the cat doesn't care, he is installed on the bed and he hasn't been ironed either.

I am not doing much this morning, I feel low and achy and generally crap. I have eaten and showered and made the bed and tidied around.

I am working this afternoon.

The DWP sent me another gobbledegook letter.

It is a grey cloudy day, time to say 'Monday! Blah!'.

Sunday, 22 March 2015

Sunday afternoon

Good afternoon,

Well it is a lovely sunny day with a strong cold wind.

I biked along the front this morning, and then went home and cooked dinner. Chops, roast potatos and carrots.
Then I did some music, and sorted out my cupboards in the kitchen.

Then I started the ironing, would you believe it?

I hang things up in the cupboard these days, and some of the hanging things need an iron, and so do the teatowels and my bed linen, which is drying on the line. Any bigots reading this, remember, my day of rest is Saturday.

I have had another bike ride in the sunshine, and I still have ironing and music and writing to do and I will go to church this evening.
I have tomorrow morning off but I have things I want to do, and then I am working in the afternoon.

Sunday Morning

Good morning,

I did so much music practice yesterday and a lot of writing, then I fell into bed and slept.

I dreamed a lot, dreams about devil children and marriage and all sorts of scary stuff.

I woke to a bright and breezy morning, and wandered into a cup of tea.

My housemate came into the kitchen, and she has got the hang of my morning routine, because she said 'we open the patio doors now, don't we?' And she strolled outside with her cup of tea and the cat.

The cat is sulking and avoiding my room because we ambushed him when he was asleep on my bed yesterday, and front-lined him. Front line is flea treatment, those of you who don't know.

So me and my housemate and the cat all on the patio in our pyjamas, we wear deportation pyjamas and we are not overlooked, but it is nice to go out and smell the fresh air and hear the sea and the seagulls first thing.

Anyway, my housemate has gone to see a friend, and I have had bacon and eggs and am now thinking about showering, dressing and biking down to the shore.

I will leave church for this evening, even though it is a typical lent day with the weather and you are supposed to go to church and talk about spring and sunshine and daffodils on these Sunday mornings.
My daffodil bunches in the kitchen are blooming cheerfully and our landlady and her partner appreciated them yesterday :) Flowers are a norty habit of mine.

I am just listening to Magic FM and writing and rejoicing that I have done the housework apart from the bins, so I can get on with writing and music.

It would be nice to think that this paradise would last, but while I live and the Diocese of Winchester exist, they will continue to destroy me, until either they kill me, or they are disbanded.

Saturday, 21 March 2015

Saturday evening

Good evening,

Well. I am worried about the significantly increased stats on the blog, because it means the bloody church are going to harm me. That's a guess based on experience.

Anyway, I have been very tired, with the remains of the migraine today. Mum came over but I was too tired for that to be fun.

Then I did the housework and shopping and looked at the sea.

Then I got home and my landlady and her partner were home, so we all did a load of sorting out and repairing of things. It's really cool cos I have some freezer space at last.
Then I have been doing my music practice like mad.

Then landlady and partner have gone off again and I am watching a good old favourite film 'Airplane!'
Haha, Kramer beating all those religious people up at the airport! :)

The flashbacks are so bad at the moment that it is hard to concentrate.

Saturday morning

Good morning,

I still don't feel quite right.

Yesterday after briefly going to the shop, I did housework and paperwork and music practice.
I also worked on my heritage project.

The day had started very cold and cloudy, but it turned to mild spring sunshine, with smog over the hills and sea.
The tide was low constant waves, and a lot of people were on the beach in the evening.

I was tired and went to sleep early.
I am having a nightmare patch, so nightmares occured and I woke this morning still with migraine after effects but I have got through a whole pack of migraleve so I can't have any more.

I must shower and eat and then go and collect my Mum, she was due to come over yesterday but I was so tired from the migraine.

It is a nice sunny day.

Friday, 20 March 2015

Friday morning

Good morning,

Well I went to bed early and slept, but I woke early too, still having nightmares.

I got up and my housemate was cross with the cat as it had got into her room early in the morning and was 'yelling at her'.
I biked down to the shore, it is such a grey morning, cold with low cloud, the hill is barely visible.

The solar eclipse is supposed to be on, but the cloud is so low that it is very dark anyway, outside it is bitterly cold and the birds are all singing like mad. It is certainly dark and cold. I went outside to look, and the cat came out with me and meowed a lot, because it does meow a lot, noisy little thing. I like the cat. Everyone needs animals really, especially me, I have missed having a pet for years. People in Jersey are boring, they don't love animals, the only people I lived with in Jersey that kept animals, kept dogs, and they kept them, smelly and isolated, in a room apart from the rest of the house, which defeats the object of pets entirely. Poor dogs.
But Jersey is like that. I know almost no-one in Jersey who was not divorced or from a divorced family. Money and greed and the occupation makes the mentality there so awful.
Enough rant, people will be sending me cross messages over that.
I just have to say, I would rather be here. Until the Diocese and their police catch up  with me and trash the life I have built, then I will move back to Jersey.

ON the subject of Jersey, I am really pleased to hear that Jersey's REAL anthem, 'Beautiful Jersey' has been chosen for the Island Games.

Well, it is bitter cold, maybe because of the eclipse, and my housemate has just come home from swimming and declared that it is FREEZING OUT THERE!
It is freezing, I biked along the front and came home and it is so cold! :) The cat is also personally complaining about the weather and asking me to make my bed so he can go to sleep and my housemate wants to play my keyboard, should I charge her?

I haven't even showered yet, I have cancelled today as the migraine is still affecting me, I am still unco-ordinated.



Music practice.

Thursday, 19 March 2015

Thursday evening

Good evening,

Well I am still very ill, even with migraleve and deep freeze. This is the worst migraine I can remember.
I am still having dyspraxia problems as well.

Anyway, today I went for interview, induction and assessment, they offered me a job and put me to work, unfortunately they want me to work full time, and the job was not suitable for my disabilities really. They were nice, and the thought of earning a full time wage and being able to afford haircuts and motorbike and things I want or need was so tempting. But I doubt it would be fair on them or me. So I worked until they let me go for the day. Then, as I had not had a break or food or tea, which would also be a problem if I worked there, I walked to the nearby cafe and sat there with tea and a slice of cake, and I took painkillers.
I had spent some four hours working in the heat with no break, no tea or food or painkillers, and it was now afternoon and work finishes just in time to miss the bus, and buses are one per hour, so if I worked there I would be trying to get there for 7am, before the buses start, and not finishing until 3pm, with a half hour break at some point, and then having to wait an hour for the bus, and then the bus ride home. That would make it a long day, and really it is not a suitable environment for me, nice as they are there.

So, just as I made the decision not to keep the third volunteer role, I have decided not to take the job I was given today. I would rather keep doing my odds and ends and building up the jobbing gardening and things.
So it was a disappointing day, but when I got home there was an email with some rather good news, hopefully.
Anyway, migraleve and deep freeze but still a migraine and clumsiness, I nearly set my supper on fire, but at least I ate supper.
The cat decided to sleep on my back while I was reading a book. 
I have done some washing and I am going to bed soon.

Thursday morning

Good morning,

Well I had a bad night, the migraine is the worst I have had for as long as I can remember. I went to bed early and was asleep straight away.
I woke from dreadful Church of England nightmares at 1am, I was in a lot of pain and felt sick. I got up and took painkillers but that seemed to make no difference, so I went to the kitchen and got a glass of squash. The cat was ever so worried about this, and he climbed out of his basket and meowed at me.

I tried to go back to bed but I was in too much pain, and the last thing I wanted to do was start an important day like today with not enoough sleep and a migraine.

Thankfully I drifted into sleep eventually, and woke, still with a migraine, a bit later than usual at 7am.

There is no sign of the cat and I have been standing on the patio with a cuppa. It is a cold windy day, and I am trying to decide if I should bike down to the sea, or if the impact would be too much.

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Wednesday Evening

Good evening peeps.

Well this morning I was up just before six as usual but dyspraxia continued and I somehow never got my shower and hurried out of the house late, wearing the wrong trousers (Gromit!).
However, I got to work in time, early. But I had to tell the boss I felt ill, just in case.
The boss was busy and never checked up on me as I plodded on with my work, I took painkillers at breaktime, but by afternoon I was feeling very ill, and I realised it was a full-blown migraine, hence the clumsiness recently.
I don't get many migraines, and sometimes they start and fade out within hours, but this one was a cracker, it wasn't responding to painkillers or acupressure.
An hour before I was due to finish, I was numb down one side, spooky considering how I wrote about that in the Bob and Julie statement yesterday, and the statement seems to have triggered this migraine, but I was also stumbling, disorientated and sure I was going to vomit.
Which isn't good when you are working alone with tools and interacting with the nosey general public.

So I searched for the boss but he was nowhere to be found. So I found his second-in-command, and he was very sympathetic because he gets migraines occasionally, so he looked for the boss and couldn't find him, and got me to write a note and told me I could call it a day for the day, so I did that.
I don't like letting people down and I am a bit anxious as I have a very important few days coming up, and I will not be back on that team on Friday as usual anyway and I do not want to still be ill tomorrow as a lot is happening tomorrow.
But, it has been a lovely sunny day today, which did help.
And when I finished work, I headed home past the charity shop, popped in to tell them my world, and the boss told me to go and get Migraleve from the chemist, so I did, and although the migraine is still there in the background, I do feel a lot better.

I came home, intending to simply have a warm bath, do my music and watch a film, but things never go as planned.
I have not done any of those things, however I have checked the gas meter, with the cat's considerable help, haha, and I have had fish and chips so I didn't have to cook, fish and chips is not ideal for migraine but I felt norty, so I walked along the shore eating it and watching the waves break and the lights on the fishing rods.
My asthma is also bad today, so it is possible I have had an allergic reaction to something. My migraines typically have a specific trigger, as does my asthma.

I have sorted my clothes drawers and wardrobe today, and I am pleased with that.
My housemate was talking about tonight's quiz, but I am certainly not going quizzing.
I nearly collided with a wall on the way home from the sea, just because the migraine makes me unsteady, no alcohol involved.

Wish me luck with the next few days.

Wednesday Morning

Good morning,

Another misty foggy day.

Well I woke feeling ill, I felt ill last night and fell into bed early.
I wake early now, without a problem, which is good as I have work of one sort or another these days and most involves one or two bus rides. But the clocks change soon, screwing everything up.
I do my packed lunch for the next day each evening while I do my supper.

Yesterday I woke early and from 6am to 12 midday, I finished writing the dreadful story of November 2013 on the other blog. Writing it made me ill and although I didn't go to work yesterday morning, I did go to the shop for the afternoon and I told them I was feeling tired, they were fine with that, it was a quiet day anyway.

Early yesterday morning I took a break from writing and went to post letters and biked along the front, the sea was calm and hidden in mist, and it stayed that way all day.
I stopped to get some milk on the way, but when I got home, I dropped the milk and a hole developed, so the milk is in a jug. Then I tripped over the cat, who makes it his aim to be tripped over regularly anyway. But I decided it was a dyspraxic day, so when I got to the shop, I told the boss not to get me to dust the china cabinet! :)

I got home and did the bins and housework, did my supper and lunch, but I felt ill, and I still do, basically I shouldn't go to pub quizzes while I am rebuilding my work life, even though I was only out until 11pm and only drank coke, it was too much for my system, and then finishing the statement about Bob and Julie, which I started last week, had to stop because of trauma, and spent literally  6 hours on yesterday, it has left me ill during a very busy and important week.

I will tell you more about how important this week is tomorrow evening.
But Mum wants to come over on Friday, which means I am asking for a day off when I get to work today. Friday will be my only day off EVER and I am not at the shop tomorrow, shh!

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Tuesday morning

Good morning,

It is a cold grey early morning.
I have work today. Mainly in the shop.

Last night I went to pub quiz.
I am always hit and miss with pub quizzes, but it was OK.
I was lucky to be sitting with two nice musicians, who are going to find me some music and material to study,
The quiz was at a pub on the waterfront, and I could see and hear the sea.

I shouldn't stay out late when I am working, and the quiz finished at about 11, and the rain had stopped.

I came home and went to sleep.

Monday, 16 March 2015

'I will not boast in anything
no Yorkshire, no channel islands no switzerland'

Funny how the grunge from the Church of England always check out my blog when they are abroad. Sad cases.

Monday evening

Good evening,

Well I went to the stables in the pouring rain, and we pottered around with horsys on leads.
Then I went and met someone and off we set on a top secret mission.

Then I came home this afternoon, and have been busy with top secret stuff as the rain falls outside.
The cat has been sleeping peacefully on my bed, and I have also done my music practice.

I am supposed to be going out to a pub quiz this evening. mixed feelings.
I like quizzes but am not in a mood to be out late.

Monday morning

Good morning peeps,

Last night I was busy reading and writing, but I was so tired that I evicted the cat from my bed (meoow!) and climbed into bed and slept like I was dead.
I woke with nightmares and flashbacks this morning.
So I did a cuppa, did a full english breakfast, had a shower, and here I am.

It is raining and I am due to head for the stables.
Maybe more news later peeps.

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Sunday evening

Good evening,

Well I went to welfare, then had a few bus rides, and now I am back doing my paperwork.

I really want to know something. Who are the two very frequent Jersey readers of this blog, both on Safari browsers, one finds my blog by typing 'life after the diocese blog' in each time, and the other arrives direct. Who are you?
I know who the vistas and internet explorers and firefox are. And I guess who the english stalkerstat on safari is, I am curious about these two Jersey ones

Tomorrow I have horsys in the morning, and then other things in the afternoon.

Sunday Afternoon

Good afternoon,

Well I had a nice bike ride along the front this morning but the wind was bitingly cold and upset my asthma and ears,
Then I continued my general paperwork and blogwork and went through the music syllabus before I went to church.

Church was lovely, it always is on Mothering Sunday, although sadly the weather refused to be typical Mothering Sunday weather and remained grey and cold.

The service was refreshing and the children talked to us about mothers and handed out sweets to all the ladies, that the children had made in Sunday school, and they were lovely, peppermint creams and fudge :) in little yellow boxes.

Then I came home and got on with my dinner, I has pre-prepared the potatos and carrots, so I par-boiled the potatoes before putting them on to roast, put the chicken in when it was time, and then put the carrots on to boil, then I made gravy from oxo and carrot water and chicken juice and gravy thickener. It was a good meal, and although I had made healthy eton mess from crushed merangue nests with fat free yogurt and fresh grapes, I was so full from lunch that dessert will wait for later.
I am relaxing with my new books.

I may well go to welfare later.

Thursday and Friday, retrospect

Thursday's post got deleted and I hardly wrote on Friday.
So, as I have done Saturday and Sunday posts together, I will redo Thursday and write Friday in as well.

I woke early on Thursday, the cat was meowing, so I shut him in the kitchen and tried to wake up.
So the cat trashed the bin and I found him smirking, surrounded by teabags and egg shell, so I picked him up and told him off and he smirked some more and my housemate came in and giggled at us.

Then I went and did my shopping, a massive shop because I have not done a big shop for a long time and have run out of everything.
I went to the supermarket, and I also got socks, plain cotton and also work socks, and some knickers, because my underwear and sock were getting a  bit close to crisis.
And of course I got flowers, spray carnations for my room as usual, the last ones lasted so well. And I got a few bunches of local daffodils for the kitchen. (no, I didn't pick them, I only nick lavender heads from the supermarket borders).

Then, shopping done, I had to go and see someone, and that is not something I am telling you yet, not time for the announcement yet, harhar.

Then I had my lunch in town, jacket potato, then it was time for the chattery shop, and I took charge as the volunteer there went and while I waited for the manager to arrive, then we sorted stock and put stock out, and tidied up, and then I minded the shop briefly and I chose some DVDs and books from new stock and agreed a price,l which is what we do. There were lots of chick flicks in, and basically I could take any amount and just watch them as long as the plot is simple and not too adult, but I chose three, and some gardening books, because to be honest, I do need to re-learn some of my trade, my memory still has gaps in.

Then when the schoolgirl volunteer came in, she and I did a lot of clothes steaming.

And someone brought me in two huge Thorntons chocolate eggs with chocolates and all, I know I said that this next Great Walk is chocolate powered but wow! The walk has already raised £200 pledge plus what the government chips in.

I got home and found I had been sent a wad of grocery vouchers, which really helps me :) Nice early Birthday presents.

Thursday night was foggy and Friday was due rain, but no rain fell on Friday. I got up early, packed lunch already made the night before, and showered and dressed.
I got to work early and made an enthusiastic start, the supervisor was away until lunch, so I just plodded on with my work.
I got so many enthusiastic comments that I couldn't believe it. Everyone was kind and complimentary, but I guess unpaid labour that does the job properly has gotta be a good thing, and this is for a very good cause, and I am very happy to do it. It is all good, and if I start doing pictures for my portfolio, that will help.
The old me never thought to do things like that, so I have only a few photos of my old work, but things are different now.

Anyway, I was absolutely exhausted and aching at the end of the day, I popped into the charity shop on the way home, and I was supposed to go to the cinema with the gang, but with more work on Saturday and already so tired, I cancelled and one of the others had to cancel, so no-one throttled me, but it means I have not yet seen the Second Best Marigold Hotel.
I did the washing, housework and a packed lunch for Saturday, and went to bed.

Sunday Morning, Mothering Sunday

Good morning,

Well I have no work but I am so used to waking up early. And I slept well.
Today is a grey day, not the springtime and daffodils sort of Mother's Day yet, but there's time.

I have to catch up the last few days as the blog went a bit awry, starting with Thursday's busy day being deleted.

Today I thankfully have a quiet day, church and welfare maybe.
I have had a busy week.

I did put a card in the post for my adoptive mum, and she has tried to phone me but signal has been hit and miss.

Yesterday I got up early and went to have a try at my new volunteer job. I decided very quickly that it wasn't for me. It is a lovely place but very different in style and atmosphere from my other two volunteer jobs.
They simply dumped me with another new volunteer who didn't want to work with me, and didn't want to work, and left us for an hour at a time doing different jobsm no real introduction or induction, and the staff didn't speak to the volunteers at all at break time, so I said no, it wasn't for me, and they said maybe I should give it another go another time. Genuinely, so I said OK.
I guess that is all fine, I liked the work but the atmosphere was wrong for me. That is all part of learning and development. I mean, I stayed in the Church of England, which was wrong for me, for so many years and let them trash me, before I learned what was right for me.
And, I already work two volunteer roles and am building up to work in paid roles, so I probably shouldn't take on more volunteer work, but it was such an opportunity, you know, I can't afford to go to places like that on a visit, so being able to work there was such a grand thing to do. My other volunteer roles are a bit more altruistic.

So, I finished work at lunchtime yesterday, and went into town from there.

I got another autocorrect book because I have worn the other two out by reading them at bed time to stave off the nighmares, although I think my housemate may wonder what is going on when I am giggling helplessly at that time of the night!
I got two other books, which is good, because I have had a real drought on reading books, the other books I have mentioned are mainly gardening books but I needed books I could relax and read. I also got a music CD. I should not be spending money, as I never have any, but I can't live without anything all the time, can I?

Anyway, I came home and cleaned the house, bathrooms, bins, floors, kitchen.
Then I cooked a Korma and listened to Magic FM and did a lot of reading.

Then it was bed time, and I giggled at Autocorrect, and fell asleep exhausted.
I dreamed on and on about the Diocese of Winchester and trying to defend myself against their report, I was in Jersey a lot in my dreams and I was also at home but they had diverted the Jersey ferry to stop where I live, how annoyingly handy.
Those who wonder, I do not have any wish to go to Jersey, every time I see it, I see an island ruined by money and greed, and even when I was there, I was saddened by it... ' Daddy, what will happen when there are no flowers or grass left?'

Hm, time to wake my poor Mother up? :) I think I will have a bike ride and do some blogging and music theory practice. I need to get my exam forms in.

Saturday, 14 March 2015

Saturday Morning

Good morning,

I have a half day at work, this is for the third volunteer job that I took on.

I will catch up the blogs later.

It is cloudy with a red sunrise.

Friday, 13 March 2015

Friday evening

Good evening,
Sorry, I did do a post yesterday but the wireless went wrong and I lost the post.
Very busy, lots happening, just finished work, worked hard, exhausted, not going to the cinema as planned, and I will catch up with the blog later.

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Wednesday Evening

Good evening,

I am on my way home from work, tired, did a good day.

The day started warm and sunny and I got to work early and wide awake.
I had done a huge packed lunch to compensate for thinking earlier in the week that I would have nothing for lunch.
Today I worked edging, weeding and pruning, a lot of honest work, and a lot of members of the public stopped for chat and compliments.

The weather turned grey and drizzly but I finished my day.

I stopped at the charity shop on the way home, and chatted with my peeps.

Tomorrow is a busy day.

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Tuesday evening

Good evening,

I almost forgot to update.
This morning I biked along the bay, it is grockle season already.
I went to the gym but the pool was closed so no swim.

Then I did the housework.

Then I went to the shop, it was very quiet, I did cleaning and sorting stock and doing the till.

Then I came home and did a roast dinner and tomorrows packed lunch.
I work as a gardener tomorrow.

Then I have been sorting paperwork and my room, then I had a bath and did my prayers and music theory while I soaked in the bath.

Bed time, I will blog tomorrow evening as it is a long day.

Tuesday morning

Good morning,

I slept well apart from nightmares about Bob Hill, Julie Wallman and thier friend , Jane Fisher.
Bob Hill#'s blatant betrayal of me still haunts me, he knew very well how badly damaged I was by the diocese of winchester and he simply handed me over to them, by deceit. He has never apologized, and instead of terminating his involvement, tried to continue without my consent, while refusing to communicate with me, and doing as he consistently did, making his own decisions about my life and case.

It is a sunny day here, and I will do paperwork before going to work at the shop later.

Monday, 9 March 2015

Monday Evening

Good evening,

I went to the bank and then went to the volunteer interview, so I now have three volunteer jobs. I need to leave space for paid work, unlikely as it is, because I cannot go on living in poverty that makes me open to abuse and harm, the welfare benefit system is not fit for purpose at all.

Anyway, I came home, did risotto and have been half-watching television while writing.

It is misty with low cloud, and yet it is also windy, and cold. I went out on my bike along the front and the hills are obliterated by low cloud and mist.

Monday morning

Good morning,

I am awake and it is a grey morning.

I have a day of doing paperwork and necessary stuff, but this afternoon I will go and see someone about a bit more volunteer work, last lot, as I need to make space for the non-existent paid work.

The cat was howling this morning, because my housemate feeds it when she shouldn't so it expects food, and it doesn't expect food from me so I had a quiet week once it realised that.
The cat gets fed from it's feeder, automatically, so it doesn't need feeding.

Sunday, 8 March 2015

Sunday evening

Good evening,

Please excuse the lack of blog. Long day yesterday, tired and ill today, and Mum came over briefly as well.

Well I had a lovely day yesterday, but it was a long day, I was off early and to London, a long journey, then London itself takes a lot of energy. I am fond of London but it is full of people.
And then some of the tube was out because of engineering, which made things worse.

I had a lovely time with my friends and said goodbye in the early evening, a bit later than intended, but I had to make the trip worthwhile.
Then I had the long journey home, which passed peacefully, but I started feeling sick at some point and have been feeling sick since, probably because my muscles clenched tight with the travel and stress on top of Friday's hard day.

It was midnight before I got to bed. And I woke this morning feeling like I had been in a tumble dryer, but I must have slept deeply as I was tired, I certainly felt like I had slept, even if I was aching all over.

I did my chores and ate and drank and showered, then I went to meet Mum, just for a while, and that was good, we found a new cafe that I intend to visit again, very nice.

Then I came home, no church today, too tired and achy and overwhelmed, I did intend to go out on my bike but never even did that.

I did do my laundry and I am just rushing it on and off the radiators so my housemate can do her washing when she gets in, she is home, but she has gone to her friend's house, where she always spends a lot of time, always has, they are very close.

The cat is keeping me company, he likes my new chair but I need to sit on it, so he is asleep on the bed.

Saturday, 7 March 2015

Saturday morning

Good morning,

No rest for the wicket-keeper, I am up, I am cooking sausages for breakfast and for a snack on the way, as I have very little money. But seeing as someone has bought my ticket, I will go, and be grateful, nice to have a change of scene, helps my mind, because the traumatic stress of the Jersey deanery and BBC stunts still lingers.

I am not going as early as usual, because our local transport is affected by engineering works at the moment, so I leave here in about 20 minutes, showered dressed and fed.

It is cold and clear and a red sunrise is lighting up the bay, the cat has had it's milk and is sitting on the decking, watching for mice.

Friday, 6 March 2015

Friday evening

Good evening,

This is a very tired blogger.

I managed to crawl out of bed and get myself to work this morning.

My first full day on a gardening team, albeit voluntary, went well, it was a lovely sunny day and I was simply left to work, and I got a lot done, but because I am not work-fit, it has taken a strain on my body, especially my legs, and I am tired enough to sleep now.
Unfortunately after two days of harsh exercise and my first day of work, I get no rest because people have arranged for me to go to London tomorrow and then Mum is coming over again on Sunday.

I am so tired that I hope I can get up, and walk tomorrow, I feel like I do when I do the Great Walks, the next one of which is in exactly a month's time :) Easter Monday it starts. My legs are seizing up.

Anyway, I have to be up early to head for London in the morning.

First Day at Work:

The alarm goes off and I am too tired,
then the cat hears the alarm,
so eventually I fall out of bed,
and throw a saucer of milk at the cat,

I am trying to make a packed lunch 
and do breakfast 
and wash the dishes
and dress and comb

The cat decides it likes the duvet so much
that it drags it off the bed with it's claws
when I pick it up
and the bed was so neatly made

At the last minute I lace my new boots
and hope for the best
and then hurry out the door
miss the bus, get the next one

I worry all the way to work
nothing to worry about,
fill in paperwork, get shown round
and then I go back to my work, at last.

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Thursday evening

Good evening,

Well the cat strolled in this morning, after I had been shouting and searching for some time, no explanation, he didn't even say hello, he just drank his milk.

Then I biked along the front, it was a lovely sunny day with the tide in and the waves all fluffy, just like yesterday.

Then I went for gym and swim.
I had a good swim, I didn't overdo the weights as I am still in pain from yesterday's workout.
I did work on the treadmill a bit, because I want to be able to run again, which I may or may not achieve but I can only try on the treadmill, building up gradually, I can't risk trying to run normally yet.

I came home, changed and went to the shop.

At the shop I was sorting stock mainly, steaming, cleaning stock, and on the till some of the time.

It was 5.30 before I left the shop, we were talking and we finished late.

Then I got the long bus route as that bus was in, it was a nice journey, with the sunset lighting up the sky and the Great Hill in a lovely glow, I could see the Great Hill for miles, towering over the Eastern Hills in the sunset and the dusk, it was another cold and clear day into another cold clear night.

I got home and have been typing, tired and aching, the cat is asleep on my bed, and I have the tv on radio this evening, Magic FM and Smooth FM.

Oh, my work boots arrived this morning, and my walking boots had arrived when I got home, so I am ready for my first full day of gardening tomorrow and getting excited about the Great Walk starting again in a month's time.

Thursday Morning

Good morning,

Well I had a restless night. But I got enough sleep, actually I was simply so tired last night that I went to bed early, maybe that was because I simply did 50 times 25 pounds on the weights at the gym, without bothering to do sets and rests, silly girl.

I got up this morning and no meow, no sign of the cat at all, which is unusual, he likes food and fuss in the morning, he has been such a friendly cat the last few days, but quieter than usual, but he still hasn't come home this morning, which worries me as he is an elderly gent of about 16, and I have sole charge of him at the moment. OK, I am worried about the cat. I put him a saucer of milk, but no meow happened.

It is a cool clear morning, lovely, I am looking forward to a bike ride and gym and swim.
I have the shop this afternoon.

I am not supposed to talk about this, but:

How did the Dean of Jersey save money on flights to his sabbatical?

He got himself fired there in a canon law gun.

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Wednesday Evening

Good evening,

Well this morning I biked along the front, went to the gym, had a swim and gym.
Then I got a few groceries.
I came home and did lunch, and did some writing.
Then because it was such a lovely day, I had another bike ride along the front.
Then did more writing.

Then, although I was reluctant, I went to one of the colleges that was having an open day.

We live in an area of deprivation and high unemployent, poor health and education services, and the college isn't good.

I had never actually visited the college until tonight, and their open day wasn't much cop, it was sparse and not well put together, only a few potential full time students visiting, the adult education courses are sparse, no concessions for benefits claimants, and basically most of the handful of courses I inquired about may not run due to lack of numbers, which they told me tends to happen. Argh.
The student services were unwelcome and almost put me off altogether, but the online courses people were nice, and we had a good chat, again no concessions, but they do some good courses, and they said that they will genuinely see about getting horticulture courses running, as I will register and I know others will, there is no horticulture training in the district.

Anyway, that ended up taking my whole evening, so nothing else has got done, and now I am home I have ended up accidentally cooking a roast chicken dinner.
The cat is asleep on my bed, I gave him the used margarine tub earlier and he couldn't believe it! I don't think anyone ever gave him a margarine tub before, it is good for cats to have that, it is good for their fur.

Wednesday morning

Good morning,

Welcome to my new reader from Canada.

Yesterday I got home from the shop, hung the bed linen to dry, quickly cooked some pizza, and went to the gym.

I had a quick gym session, it was busy up there.

Then I came home, hoovered and mopped the house, cleaned the bathrooms, and put the bins out. I also put my clothes in the wash as all three jumpers needed washing and my best jeans had a stain on them.

Then I did my music practice.

I slept restlessly, despite the clean and fluffy bed linen.
I dreamed a lot, including dreaming that I was meeting the Jersey bloggers and press, and one of the bloggers was helping me as I was panicky and all over the place.
As far as I know, the diocese or deanery has gagged the press, so they will never interview me.

I woke at 5am, no sign of the cat, I went to the loo, and then went back to bed to doze, left the door open for the cat but there was no sign of him.

When I woke from my doze, I was worried, normally the cat makes a lot of fuss in the morning, wanting food and attention, and he would normally be walking all over the bed and meowing, he is an elderly cat, although he doesn't act elderly, he still thinks he's a kitten, but with no sign of him, I was worried, so I went to the kitchen, but he was just sitting there quietly, and all he did was meow quietly, there is no sign that he is ill, but maybe he went hunting last night and was lucky or something.
Anyway, I offered him a saucer of milk, I think the experts say don't do that, but cats have always had milk since the dawn of time, and it doesn't kill them, so he drank some milk and sat in the sun and then went out again.

It is a sunny day, so I will bike down to the front and bike along.
I may do some grilled bacon sandwich first.

Today I have nothing to do, as my first day on the volunteer gardening team has been postponed to Friday, and I am still waiting for my work boots anyway. So I will do things like bike, gym, swim, and paperwork. It is a fine sunny day.

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Tuesday afternoon

Good afternoon,

I am sitting in the shop.
It has been a steady day.

Earlier I got promoted to helping the driver.
We went to collect a very heavy cabinet.
It is a bright cold day, a nice day to be out.
I am now sitting in a quiet shop. Having sorted all the stock donations including what mum brought in.
Tonight I have housework and gym.

Tuesday morning

Good morning,

Well I woke up because the cat was walking all over me and meowing anxiously, normally my housemate is up early and feeding the cat and making a fuss of him, but as she is away, the cat decided to tell me I was the replacement.

I got up, it is a nice sunny, breezy day, and I got on with paperwork and housework, and put the bed linens in the wash and had a shower.
I was going to go to the gym, but I haven't got a pound coin, or that's my excuse, I will go this evening.

I have about half an hour before I go to the shop, and I am idling instead of getting on with work.

Oh yes, I turned the lamp on in my sleep again, what on earth? I was having vivid dreams, but why the lamp?!

Monday, 2 March 2015

Monday evening

Good evening,

Well I went to collect my mum, and for once I was late, not early, because despite being up very early, I was writing and didn't set out really early.

I got Mum, and we came back, we were going to go to our favourite cafe, but it was closed, so we walked along the shore to the beach cafe where I sometimes have a cuppa, we had bacon sandwiches as they had no jacket potatos.

Then we came home and sat and talked, strangely enough, we ended up talking about Bailhache and the Jersey Inquiry, we don't normally talk about things like that.

Oh it was so funny, we got on the bus, and I was going 'hurry up, Mother!' as I sometimes do, because the driver was parked back from where he usually does, and the cars were queuing, but the driver said 'No need to rush, mother! Your daughter is too impatient!'.
We laughed.

So, we had a nice day. We dropped some things off at the charity shop, Mum had brought them over. She also brought over some new slipper socks for me, which I am now wearing.

I realised when we got to my house, that I had done a post this morning, and then it hadn't posted, so I posted it this afternoon.
Then it was time to return my Mum to her transport. It is an 8 bus ride day for me, and I did get up very early.

Now home, I am watching the Simpsons and I did sausages for tea.

The cat is having a mad half hour, attacking the rugs and mats.
Well we did wind it up earlier by putting my toy giraffe as if he was eating the cat food.

I saw a lovely sunset on the way home, and it is a cold clear night, I was glad to get home.

Monday morning

Good morning,

I had a restless night, more nightmares about my family.
I managed to switch the lamp on in my sleep again! Weird! My sister once sleep walked to switch my alarm clock off and never remembered doing so.

I woke bright and early or dark and early, with my housemate preparing to fly off, and the cat watching with interest.

I got up and did some writing, and eventually had breakfast and a shower.
I just need to get dressed and head off to collect my Mum, two bus rides away.

It is a bright and breezy day.

Sunday, 1 March 2015

Sunday evening

Good evening,

I didn't get to church today.
I went for a bike ride along the front, it was bright and breezy with a rather rough sea.
Then I did some chicken and rice for lunch.
I have been writing, and watching movies, and reading.
The cat has kept me company, I will have to tip him off my pillow in a minute.
I went to the welfare, and guess what, they had chicken and rice there. And delicious cup cakes.
I went riding the buses, then came home.

Tomorrow I have to be up early to collect mum, but my house mate has to be up even earlier as she is flying home for a week.
The wind is howling round the house, the wind really makes a lot of noise here.

Sunday morning

Good morning,

I had nightmares through the night about my 'family', that is, the family I grew up with and am estranged from, I only want to be estranged, but I still dream about them, because I grew up with them.

Usually my Dad is in my dreams, because I didn't actually know my family without my Dad, I was estranged from them from the time they bickered and fought at and after the funeral.

I woke a few times in the night, and at some point I turned the lamp on and slept again, I woke again and went to the loo, and when I woke the third time, the cat had let himself in and was curled up beside me, purring, and then my housemate came in, she had been out all night, how norty :)
She is preparing to fly home early tomorrow morning, so me and the cat are alone until Wednesday or Friday or something, not that we mind.

I won't go to church this morning.
I may go this evening.
I may also go to the welfare.

The weather is almost fair, with a strong breeze, so I will go down to the sea.
Mum says she isn't too well but hopes to be well enough by tomorrow to come over.

You know how you wake up and feel glad to be where you are? Yes, I felt that way this morning, I always do. I can't see the sea from my room, but the land slopes down towards it and you know it is there, waiting.
I can see a bit of sea from the bathroom, and I tell people I see the ships floating past the bathroom window.

Today this song seems good: