This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Sunday, 30 October 2016


Good evening peeps,

I am just watching Titanic. The scene that I find most moving is the dignity of the quartet as they play 'Nearer my God to Thee' and then he says 'Gentlemen, it has been a privilege playing with you tonight'.
You know the other thing about Titanic, one of the themes is 'Southampton Song' which reminds me strongly of my beloved dearly cherished city of Southampton and my deep and enduring love for the city of my childhood, a love affair now of 27 years, unbelievable! Here is 'Southampton Song'

Last night I was revising, and I heard commotion outside. I learned my lesson from the dead man on the road the other year and I don't ignore commotion if it persists. Well there was someone lying on the road last night but they weren't dead. Two people, both drunk, one fell over, and they were both too drunk to right the boat. So I went out and fished them off the road and they laughed a lot and staggered onwards. They were actually both older people, a man and a woman, and they told me they had been on a blind date, I replied that it seemed to have worked out well for them.

Did you know that my Mum didn't know how the clocks changing works, even though the clocks have always changed that way. The clocks change at 2am in the morning but you have to set them before you go to bed, mum hadn't realised that they always change in the night rather than before bed or in the morning. I couldn't believe it! Maybe she was having a daft turn.

Anyway, I changed my clocks and fell into the soft bed and did a load of sleeping.
In the morning I awoke at 5.30 new time and got started on some writing.
I had neck ache, which is unsurprising due to the travelling yesterday, I do get sick from travel because my spine is broken and motion will make it hurt, nothing can be done about it. Just treatment for pain.

Today was set aside as a revision day, although this distraction and that took a few hours of my revision.

Yesterday I got a phonecall from an old lady, she told me all her family history and all the problems of most of the families in the district. Then she offered to look after the blue bike for me, and she only lives round the corner. So I arranged to go and see her today.

This afternoon I decided I would do lunch after I had visited this old lady, which was a mistake, because after I had spent two hours with her, hearing the personal lives of the whole district and how everyone is on benefits and drinking and dens of iniquity, my blood sugar dropped too low.
What a character! She means well, certainly.

Well anyway, her house is so full of stuff that it is hazardous and she is 92 and in good form despite serious illness, so she was very pleased to have a strong young person visiting, a strong young me,
 who shifted a whole lot of hazardous furniture so she can actually get into some of the rooms!
She is nice in her way, but dear God, she don't half talk!

I came home, beginning to flag, and threw a meal in the oven and got back to revision. Revision has progressed well. And of course I can watch TV and revise, I am designed to multi-channel.
Titanic has half an hour left, and then guess what? The new series of 'Humans' starts tonight, I am very worried about it being a let-down after the stunning first series.

I am just doing the housework and beginning to tail off the revision as I am getting too tired to focus.
My work bag is by the door, lunch and drinks all ready, work clothes are laid out and everything is all set to launch into the week. I am on the team tomorrow. Tuesday is dentist and revision.

I was lying on my big duvet on the floor, revising this morning, and my mum texted, she told me she was on a statue, she knew very well what I would say. My mum is an artist, and she works with statues sometimes, so she was 'on a statue' in her way and she knew what my response would be about my way of being on a statue! :) nortymum, you know my parents were ever so staid and well-behaved when they met me five and a half years ago, I have nortyfied them no end.

I am getting slight premonition from Jersey. 'Sparkles of premonition' which means thought and word rather than a major impending attack. Until the lantern bearer guides the original HG  from St. Clements to St. Ouens, and lays her to rest, I am connected to Jersey by bonds stronger than iron. I think it will be soon. Hell's Island, the Devil's Hole, Satan's own Island, I am waiting.

You know the Church will make me out to be mad for writing something like that, but hell, what do fat millionaires who wear frocks and destroy abuse victims for the sake of cover up while using Jesus' Name know about madness?

Saturday, 29 October 2016


Hey peeps,

The nortyperson is tired.

Yesterday we had a good day at work.

We had a new place to work on, a big house. My mate did the huge hedge and I did the huge shrubs, we enjoyed the work, and the residents were of the opinion that gardeners thrived on tea.

So we were having fun, until we disturbed a large wasps nest.
It was my mate, cutting the hedge.
He leaped off the ladder and scarpered.
We stood and watched the wasps for a while, and he texted the boss, who was probably blissfully in the middle of a tree and not hearing his phone.

After a while of working within a safe distance from the wasps, we decided to get some wasps nest killer.
I was dispatched to the hardware store, and took the opportunity for a toilet break on the seafront on the way. Us lady gardeners, we don't have a bottle hidden in the van :)

Anyway, hardware said that wasps were supposed to be asleep and thus the supplier wasn't sending them wasps nest products.
So I trudged back and broke that news to my colleague, who was both amused and frustrated.

Then the boss phoned, and he was already laughing about our wasps nest when he phoned, so when he heard about the hardware store, he laughed a whole lot more.

Anyway, despite the wasps, who calmed a bit so we could work round them, we got a good five hours of work done there, and moved on to the next one.

The next job was done in good time and we called it a day.

On the way back, the traffic started to slow up, and that was a bit worrying as it was too far back to be rush hour.
There had been a crash involving multiple cars.

It took a while but traffic was moving past the crash. No emergency services were there yet, but as I got past, the police came roaring up. I was lucky to get through quite quickly as traffic stacked up for miles after that.
No one was seriously hurt, but a number of vehicles were involved and one was written off.

Anyway, I got home with a lot to do, preparing for today's day school, a lot of revision and housework.
I made a start on that.

I got a call as I worked, well several, but apparently a fresh effort to force the Jersey safeguarding whitewash on me through abuse of power was being carried out. So my evening fell apart.

I had to deal with that further criminal disruption of my life.

Anyway. In the end it was late and I was tired and very worried as I had to get up at 4.30am this morning to get to day school. So I slept a short and fitful night and dreamed of a local church that I have helped with non-church events at, I dreamed that I was mingling with the congregation and meaningless things were happening but for some reason someone was telling me about one of the ladies having terminal cancer, and for some reason I knew her.

Anyway, I woke at 4am, dozed until the alarm at 4.30 and got myself fed and showered and dressed, gathered my things and sorted life out, and off I went.
The journey was peaceful, in the dark for the first few hours, and eventually I was there, sitting and revising in a coffee shop before heading for day school.

Day school was good. My adoptive parents were belatedly making arrangements to meet me, so my phone kept making muffled pings in class.

After school, my parents came and got me, and he made jokes about being a taxi and dropped me and mum off at a coffee shop while he went to do other things and we drank hot beverages and talked a lot.

Then we were collected by Dad's taxi, and they dropped me off at the terminal to head home. He said the taxi meter was 4.80, so I told him to put it on my tab.

When I got home I had an anguished note under my door and I felt ever so guilty.
My neighbour had run out of electric in the morning, the landlord was away, and I was the only person who could provide a card to put the electric on. Oh poor soul!
It's a good thing I decided not to stay late at the university library as planned! I was too tired.
Anyway, I shot down to try and get the electric on. And it is now on, but what bad luck for the neighbour that it was today it went off! Apparently her freezer had started defrosting.
To make it worse, I had left a light on in my flat and so she may have wondered if I really was out when I didn't answer the door. I often sit with my headphones on and hear nothing.

My music assignment has been extended for an extra week, so from now until next Saturday it is pure revision mode.

Thursday, 27 October 2016


Good evening peeps,

Well I went to work and I did the laundry and the shopping, but I feel tired and ill.
I actually felt better when I woke up this morning, I had re-arranged my bed and tried to support my head better.
After sleeping badly recently I was surprised to wake up feeling refreshed and a bit better.
But I tried to do my normal harsh routine today and I have ended up tired and in pain again.

I am trying to look at SATB but I can't focus. I only have three things including scores, to really revise before the exam. Well actually I need to keep revising everything but I have three things that need priority revision.
I am on the chain gang tomorrow too, and funnily enough, we are working on the same road where I was working today, why is that funny? Well it is about 10 miles away and I often work there but I have never worked there with the team.

I am all booked and prepared for next week's journey for the exam, but it is this weekend's day school I am more worried about as they keep changing the location and I want  to go to the university library and also have a coffee with my adoptive mum.

Wednesday, 26 October 2016


Hey peeps,

I haven't been very well. But I managed my morning's work well despite that. This afternoon after the landlord had had a look at the ceiling, I went to sleep for a while.
I don't like sleeping in the day, it makes me feel all horrible and cold and sick. But I think I needed sleep.
This is a relapse, because as well as depression and severe flashbacks, I have the pain, sickness and lack of energy and direction, but it is a mild relapse, and since I woke up I have been getting things done.
The stalkerstat keeps leaping onto the blog and demanding updates. So that is pretty much it.
I was due to have my postponed music lesson this evening but I cancelled because I was so tired.

I am in revision mode for the exam, and tomorrow I work a half day, Friday a long day, and then on Saturday I am supposed to be at day school and university library.

Nothing else to declare apart from two bags of dirty washing and some fog.
Did you like my Whale's tail yesterday? Would you like to see the sunrise from where Max is parked?

Tuesday, 25 October 2016


Good evening peeps,
I found a whale's tail in the sky this evening, do you like it?

Yes, that is outside my home you nosey voyeurs. Seeing as the Church's police know where I am, I am not exactly in hiding any more.

Well I have been feeling a bit under the weather. Yesterday's news was a bit of a shock.
I have been on study leave today, working with my music.
I have got a lot done, and I was all set up for my music lesson this evening and my teacher cancelled at the last minute due to having unexpected visitors from afar.

Jersey Police doing what they do best

Source, JEP. The police have been so nasty to me that I like their stupidity to be out in the open sometimes.  They crashed their car.


Monday, 24 October 2016

Father of All of Us - In loving memory and tribute to a Great Christian Man

I came home this evening,
went through my usual routines,

I didn't know that you had died,
I had supper, had a shower, unaware.

Then I saw the news,
I saw that you had gone.

I sat and remembered you,
remembered that quiet 5am when you were praying,
but you stopped to comfort me in my distress,
long ago now, long ago.

Didn't we have fun, back then, long ago?
Helpless with laughter over police and bees?
A break from our prayers and devotions,
but laughing as brothers and sisters in Christ.

As I sit here I am trying to remember anything you said,
but my mind keeps going blank and drifting away.
I feel sad. I feel the grief that so many are feeling now,
because the world has lost a great man, and Heaven has gained him.

I know that you are having the time of your life up there,
and you know you won't be separated from your dearest forever,
but here on earth, many are crying, many are sad,
we will miss you and your singleminded cause, which we all learned from.

Happy Homecoming to you. 
Is it as amazing as you hoped?
I can hear you saying  'yes,
it is even better!'

But humanity is such that we will grieve,
We will miss you.
Father of all of us,
Your words and teaching will live on for us and in us, forever.


Good evening peeps,

Monday is chain gang day, as you know.
I woke up feeling ill, which is not ideal for a day of hard physical work.

It was dark when I set off for work, almost as if it was October or something.

There were just two of us working on the estate on this cold grey day, but we were just fine. Normally I don't have any tea or coffee all day on the estate, but today I got a tea before work, and when we stopped for an early lunch, my team mate was going to get coffee, so I gave him the money to get me one too.
This meant I had to go to the loo three times during the day. Well actually a whole bottle of fruit squash and a can of cream soda probably contributed to that as well.

Anyway, because although there was a threat of rain, we managed to get the mowing, strimming and blowing done without any rain falling.
By afternoon, when we were weeding, the rain came in, and in the end we called an early finish, which was no bad thing.

It was nice to come home to chicken and wedges and salad and lots of coffee.
I am aching but I don't care. Some books sold while I was out, especially 'Wanderer' books, which inspires me to crack on with the fourth book in the series.
But from now until the 5th, my priority is music.

So anyway, Jade's death in Hollyoaks? As you know, Jade and Alfie have been my favourites since Trevor died. Yes I did cry when Jade died. Well, maybe I was reminded of my friend's death earlier this year.  Jade was always a sweet and good-natured girl and sometimes I think Hollyoaks shoot themselves in the foot.

Sunday, 23 October 2016

In case no one's told you lately

Hearing from old friends

Good evening peeps,

Me and Max were just out playing on the bay in the wild windy night, oh it is so beautiful.
The white foam of the waves against the darkness and the lights of the ships sheltering in the bay. Awesome. In all the pain and harshness of this life, there are still glimpses of wonder.

This week has been one of old friends.
Earlier this week I heard from some people who used to look after me on the streets, they sent me a nice inspirational email.
Then today we got to catch up with the Car's Best Friend as he did some work on Max, he told us Florence's news.
Florence is now owned by an elderly gent who only drives her to and from the sailing club. I can just imagine that, them pottering slowly along, enjoying retirement...with a line of honking traffic behind them. I wondered why I hadn't seen Florence out and about, I am not often down that way. Anyway, happy semi-retirement to F.P. Nortycar, her younger brother Max has taken the reins with willingness and cheer.

Then this evening, the nice lady who I worked with last winter emailed and said she may have some work for me in November and December. Awesome.

Apart from that, life is as mad as ever. I have just put an assignment in, which means one module is clear of assignments this term, and the other just has two, but they are challenging.
Next weekend I am on day school and eating the university library as well, and I hope to see my adoptives while I am there. The weekend after is the big music exam. EEK! Two weeks to go!

This weekend has been disrupted but I have got a lot done. Tomorrow I am on chain gang duties and I hope to have a study leave day on Tuesday.

I didn't sleep much last night, so I am tired now. I had better do my piano practice before my eyes close.

Thursday, 20 October 2016


Hey peeps,

I am battling depression at the moment and I had to give up on work.
It doesn't help that the crooked police complaints department contacted me yesterday and today.
Someone must have kicked them into action.
I told them I fancied the chief constable.

In case you are wondering what happened with me and the police, it was the church of england trying to avert my civil legal action. Tough shit.

I will believe in the police the day that they arrest Jane Fisher and charge her.

Anyway, I tried to go to work but I couldn't.

I have had some 5HTP and chocolate, and I will just spend the day working on short story contest deadlines and music revision. The floor needs a mop too.

I may also do a bit more with The Wanderer's Diary book 4. Which is sitting on 50,000 words unedited and is not in this week's schedule.

Yesterday I went to work, worked well, and then went up on the cliffs, the cold and sea and smoke and sky were awesome, I love this time of year.

I mainly did music revision yesterday, until my eyes were closing, and I fell into bed and slept.

Hey peeps,

I just told professional standards that their chief constable is eye candy and I want a signed photo. Do you think they will get me for that/
Joking aside, I wouldn't put it past those brutes.

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

In Jersey they just shoot you...

I am rained off for the moment and I am working on a student consultation paper for the university. I am one of the student volunteers who works with this stuff and I am supposed to be commenting. How about this comment - 'Try writing this stuff in English!'

I was just thinking about my police sting article, and as a good creative writing student, it led to other memories.

We had flown to the Devon for the weekend, from Jersey.
The conversation turned to fixed speed cameras on the A303.
'Oh, we don't have those in Jersey' He told them smugly.

'No speed cameras? So what if you get speeding drivers?'

'Well the police just stand on the bridge with a gun and shoot them'.

True story.

And don't put it past SOJP, they were left over from the occupation.
'When they liberated Jersey, they forgot about the police'.

Monday, 17 October 2016

Police Sting

Well peeps,

In the dark earliness of 7am this morning I was setting off for work, because I had to go and grab my mower from where it was residing 10 miles away before work.
On the radio a police sting was being mentioned. I think the police are mean enough without stinging people anyway.
Apparently there are a million uninsured drivers on the roads. Well I hope they aren't all in our district, but anyway, the police get to sting them, cos the police are mean, I know wasps have stings because when I work on the estate I am often reminded of this due to the massive wasps nest there.

Anyway, in the yawning early morning I grabbed my mower at 7.30 and headed to meet the boss for 8am. I had trouble finding the place we were meeting. He typically throws road names at me, rattles them off and leaves me to sink or swim, which can be fun, and I always find the place, eventually. I was getting worried by the time I found him, and it was also pouring with rain!

Anyway, we tethered Max and left him chewing grass, my car is a good little Fell Pony, very content.
We leaped aboard the van and we were off! And it was still raining as we trekked over to the lockup to get the ride-on mower. The rain was making the day look doubtful as we would be grass cutting all day.

As we had driven to the lockup, there had been a traffic cop standing by the road, and I commented as it seemed strange as he had no speed gun.
Well we found out why he was standing there on the way back!

The Police were stinging people.

They pulled our works van over and checked if we needed stinging.
Did you know that the police can tap your wheel nuts with a hammer in order to see if you are stingworthy? I bet you never thought you would read that on a blog!

I am pleased to say that the wheel nuts did nothing suspicious and the police got wet in the rain before they very politely wrote out a form that said that they had checked if we needed stinging but we were good honest gardeners and it was raining so they would not sting us today.
They didn't notice any of the illegal immigrants clinging to the bottom of the truck. Phew.

So off we went, now running late and with the heavy rain the day was looking more and more doubtful, but we made a decision to proceed.

It was a good decision despite the grass being wet, the rain eased to the occasion torrential outburst and we worked very hard to catch up as it was 9.30! By the time we got onto the grass.
By 2.30 that afternoon, that park was neatly mowed, strimmed and blowed. And the weather was better.
So we went to do another one, before heading to drop the ride-on mower and my mower at the lockup.

So that was my day. Here I am home, and the Simpsons has been cancelled, so I will just tell the whole world about the police stinging people. I have not seen anyone get stung by police before, and I don't know if they survive, but I once strimmed through a wasps nest so maybe it is like that.

Friday, 14 October 2016

Of course none of that applies to me, but it is funny.

Oh but peeps, I did something funny today. I split my trousers when I vaulted over the church wall. The workmen are probably still laughing.

Shall we go back to Jersey then?  Ahh, never forget, precious memories.

Thursday, 13 October 2016

The Anniversary Trip part 2

What happened that day
It will never leave you
that day your heart was broken
and everything that you loved was ripped away.

Here I am, here you are,
hands reaching from the present to the past
a grip stronger than iron,
no-one can take our memories away

So we are here on the shore of St. Clements Bay.

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

The Anniversary Journey part 1

You have to take out a mortgage for breakfast at Southampton Airport!

I took a photo of the Southampton Airport sign, but it was spoiled by boastful island pretending to be a holiday destination instead of an insular bubble full of egomaniacs.

We walked into the airport as we have every year on this day, To wait for the arrival. The lone and destroyed Jersey abuse victim. No one can arrive alone and having been destroyed and imprisoned and left homeless and destitute. No-one should have to do that. So hands reach out from the future to the past.

That's HG.

What we are doing is knitting the massive psychological wound. A wound that will never be properly mended but can, with time, become bearable. Although the onslaughts against HG by the Church and States of Jersey means that there may not be time, However, commemoration, memorial, outlet for grief, are all good reasons for the anniversary journey tradition to continue.

We have planes, shall we take one?

Lets go and see Uncles Phil and Ian and friends and have stern words with them about their very norty behaviour. I approve of norty as long as it is norty but nice, but they are real norty step material. Not Nice At All.

We slow down and glide, and I look
my island, clear and sharp against the blue sky
this is my home, this is all I have known
this is my island, and I have come home

Wednesday, 5 October 2016


Good morning peeps,

I am just having a break. I have had a bad morning, apart from work so far, which went fine.
I just feel awful. I dragged myself to work at some unearthly hour without even having a shower first because I couldn't wake up. I don't know why because I went to bed early and my dreams weren't enthralling.
I dreamed I was on another planet and the aliens were police. And they all had autism and reactive attachment disorder so none of them cared about anyone, they couldn't even be bothered to arrest me.
One of them was a dog handler but his dog was a Pitbull and I told him I wanted a police hat, so he gave me a police hat and I said how did I look with it on? And he said 'Ugly'.

Anyway, I have been working in the howling wind, and I have decided to take my study books up to my favourite cafe on the cliffs for lunch. Unfortunately the wind means that I won't be allowed to sit outside, but that's OK, I can sit in and study and then spend as much time as I like out on the cliffs after lunch.

Did you know I have been a published author for six weeks and no-one has asked for a nortygraph yet?!

Tuesday, 4 October 2016


Hey peeps,

It has been a month since that first police attack and I don't feel any better. Right now I just want to cry.
Why has my life been taken off me by my abusers and their police again?

Today has been a busy day. I was up at about 5.30, getting stuff done before work, then work, then my study has all been music today, and I had a very good piano lesson, my playing has improved a lot.
I have been trying to study now, but I feel too bad.


Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday was a long hard day on the gardening team, I can work as hard as I used to but I still have to use a pain pen and ice and painkillers at the end of the day.

I was tired when I got home, so I didn't get much studying done.

I went to the shop and ended up chatting to an assistant who works in music in his spare time, a bit like I am a writer in my spare time, it doesn't make a living so we still need our day jobs.

I went to bed early and slept well, and I feel alright this morning. I am just doing paperwork and bills before work.

Oh, someone has hit Max and scratched his front bumper, very sad, Max is a good boy. I only noticed when we were sitting on the kerb eating our lunch yesterday.

It is glorious autumn weather, I love the light blue autumn skies and the cool weather. It makes me feel happier, if only the fear of the church's police wasn't overwhelming.

Sunday, 2 October 2016


Good evening peeps,

Just a brief update.
I don't want to go on about the police but they have left me living in fear.
It's hard to start the new University year living in fear.

Yesterday was pouring rain and I did a library induction at uni.
Then I won a short story contest that I had entered a while back.
So I did another short story competition.
Those of you who don't know, short stories are a way of building your skill and credibility as an author.

My landlord has been round all weekend as we have had plumbing problems and water where water should not be.
He will be laughing about the police incident for the rest of his life. Either he or I or both will include it in a book. I am sure it will be in the sequel to 'Coming Home' unless the police kill me or imprison me.

I have begun university and of course I was head starting so I am mainly ahead on the work despite the police issues.

Today I didn't have washing or Max to wash, so I finished editing The Wanderer Book 3, and sent it for proofing. It's about 78,000 words, I am keeping these books' word counts down a bit because of costs and the fact that it is a series.

It was such a beautiful day but I wasn't sure where to go, so when my mate emailed, I went over to his house and we had a scrumptious Sunday dinner.

All I have left to do is music theory revision. I have done everything else and my piano practice.

My work bag is by the door, my work clothes are laid out ready, and tomorrow I am back on the chain gang.

Night at the Museum 2 is on. It has been a goodish film weekend.