This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Monday, 12 November 2012

Good morning peeps.

Yesterday morning I went to 8am communion, they made me a cuppa and because I was still very disorientated I sat and listened to the service instead of joining in.
Then they made me another cuppa. They are good like that. Well trained.
I told the Vicar about my night and how someone had had their engine running for hours, she said maybe they had slept in their car, which would make sense, it was a cold night and being in a car would be very cold unless you kept the engine and heating on.

I didn't want to take part in any main services because I don't like the crowds.
I went up to one of the other churches and annexed the bench outside, the sun was shining but I had kept my thermals on as well as it was not warm.
People said hello and good morning, and the gardener came along and said he hadn't seen me for ages and he had seen my bedding was stashed in it's place, I asked him if it was still ok for me to stash there and he said it was.
Then someone brought me tea and biscuits.
And I sat and read my book. I didn't go into the service because I was going to the Civic Rememberance.
I hate Rememberance Sunday because it tears me apart. I should be in that parade.

I went down to the Civic rememberance, it was hard to find a place to be apart from the crowds, people kept coming and barging rudely as they do.
Eventually one of my people from church came along and saw me, and she asked if she could stand with me, I told her I would be grateful because I was finding the crowd difficult.
She was very good as she made sure no-one got too close, and she bade me sit down on a step every time I was struggling to stand (If you haven't already realised it, I cannot stand still very easily) and she stood guard over me, she also asked a big tall man who got too close to 'give us some more space please'.
So it was ok.

After the service, town was very crowded, I couldn't get a cuppa or a lunch, so I went back to reading my book on the bench by the church and they got me more tea.

Eventually I decided to get a bus as there was simply nowhere to go.
I got the bus down to the shore.

On the shore I walked to the old stone pier where there are words written in the concrete that have been there for more than 20 years. I traced the letters and wrote something under them as I always have, using chalk. Then I walked along the shore, the tide was far out and I turned over rocks and disturbed literally hundreds of crabs of all sizes from teeny to large, and they scuttled around clacking their pinchers and wanting to bite someone for disturbing them.
It is quite fascinating to see so many crabs, they make quite a noise as they all scuttle around together and dig themselves into the sand or hid under the rock again. I wonder what it is like to be a crab and simply sit under a rock doing nothing, don't they get bored?

Anyway, I went to get the bus back, and it is one bus every hour and the timetable is incorrect. So I sat and read my book for ages.
Then I ended up back in town and bored and low, I sat in McD's for ages with a few hot drinks, it is a cold day and the first day I have kept my thermals on all day.
Then I went back to the bus stop and went riding on the buses.
And eventually I got a final cup of tea and crept miserably back to my sleeping place, expecting a cold sleepless and very depressed night.

I got to my sleeping place and got my bedding, it was only 9pm, I put my cardboard and duvet down and climbed into the new sleeping bag, put my fleece and balaclava on, climbed into the old sleeping bag so it was round the new one, put a hand warmer in my balaclava neck and one in the sleeping bag as hot water bottles, pulled the wool blanket over everything, lay down with my head on the backpack and cushion and drifted into a warm and comfy sleep, the sky was clouding over as I dozed off but I wasn't sure what the forecast was.
Woke at 2am needing the loo, went to the loo and back to bed, very warm and comfy, slept until the alarm woke me and was tempted to stay in the cosy nest I was in. The temperature had shot up and it was very mild.
Went to McD's and had breakfast, had a thorough wash and a change of underwear, went to morning prayer, was made plenty of tea, and the Vicar ordered some fuel tablets for my stove from Amazon.

went to get a shower but the secretary wasn't there, will be back later, and later I will also go to the basics bank as they may have a blanket for me.

I am in the library and it is raining.
The forecast is odd, the temperature goes up towards evening and into the night and it will be mild, but the rain stops as evening draws on, goodo!

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