Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Sunday, 14 October 2012

Good morning bloggys,

It is another cold clear morning here, just getting light.

Last night I wrote and wrote until the library closed, I am on page 114 of my book, then I went to soup kitchen, which was crowded but I got a sandwich, a donut and a few cups of tea, and the man gave me a hat scarf and gloves so now I have two of each.
Soup kitchen was busy but nothing happened.

I went and changed into my thermals but for some time I had to wait for my sleeping place because both places had too many places near them, so I got cold and my friend kept texting because she couldn't get my number up to phone me, so I was a bit fed up.

I ended up bedding down in the rat alley, it was a cold night and the rat alley was less than ideal on a cold night with all the drunks out shouting.

Still, wrapped up in hat, scarf, gloves, thermals, layers, and with an adequate layer of cardboard and a blanket as well as sleeping bag, I managed to doze off, and was woken at 1am by rain as I wasn't entirely sheltered, fortunately it was a passing shower as forecast.

I slept lightly and dozed until morning.

Early morning, darfk cold and beautiful, I am never joking when I say that early winter mornings are amazing. Cold and fresh, the air is breathable and it brings my temperature down and cheers me up, usually.

The depression is bad.

I am in McD's and their hot water isn't working so I am lucky to have got a cup of tea.

My pal with the dog is trying to get me to go and live in the homeless camp.
Hm, no.

I wish I was dead.
But do not label me as suicidal and start having me locked up for that. Wishing you were dead happens to most people and in my case it is a reaction to things that happened. I don't think it will ever heal.







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