This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Good morning bloggypeeps,

It may not have been V. I saw yesterday, he has a brother who looks similar.

Anyway, when the library closed yesterday I went out into the cold and had a brisk walk while I waited for soup kitchen.
I was lucky with soup kitchen, two out of the three staff there knew me and made sure I got food quickly, it was a longer wait for a cup of tea though but once I started on the tea I had rather a lot of it.

some of the younger addicts and alcoholics started arguing, never a good sign, and sure enough a fight broke out. one of the guys bashed his head on the ground when he was knocked over, and started having a fit, it didn't look very convincing but some of the other guys tried to pin him down, which is not what you do with someone who is having a fit, but he started getting up and staggering around and moaning and falling, he had been drinking anyway.
The staff called the police and an ambulance and ten minutes later a police car and and an ambulance car came shooting up simultaneously from opposite directions with sirens and lights going,

They were joined by a police van and two more cars and then a full sized ambulance and it was quite a scene.

Two of the guys started reminiscing about times when they had been arrested, one said he missed being arrested, I said I was in the wrong company and the soup kitchen lady laughed and told the guy that if he missed being arrested he should go over and speak to the police.
As one of the police cars pulled away, one of the guys, totally high, ran in front of the police car and said 'you forgot to say goodbye!'.
He was lucky that the police had another job to go to. They let him get away with it.
The guy who was injured was taken to hospital but I don't know if his attacker was arrested or not.

I talked to the soup kitchen lady and she said that there were a lot of fights here now, it used to be peaceful some time back when I used to come here every night, but a lot of non-genuines come along now and tend to be drinking and using drugs.
None of my pals except Leo, who is only vaguely a pal, were there.
There was a new guy who was very polite and grateful for his food and he shook hands with me and introduced himself.

After soup kitchen I went up to the 24 hour toilets to put my thermals on, I was surprised to find the toilets locked, they must have had trouble. I used my key and went in the disabled toilets, I changed and I half expected the friendly security guard to be in the hall when I came out, but there was no sign of him, he lets me use the toilets to change my clothes and always seems shocked that I am homeless.

I go looking for cardboard and find just about enough, and then I head for my porchway.
The night is clear and cold and because I am just back I am nervous of settling in my pochway but eventually I use the drain and settle down.
I sleep for an hour and get up needing the loo again, all that tea!
I rearrange my pillow as I am getting a headache, and I wrap my spare jumper round my head and neck.

I sleep again but I wake every hour, I need the loo and I am not quite warm enough and I am nervous, at one point I think a car has come up and turned round but I am not sure, at another point I dream I am being attacked, I often have this dream but I cry out to Jesus and I wake up and there is no attacker, and then at one point I wake and am suffering distress and flashbacks for a while but I pray and I sleep again.

I wake in the cold early morning, my alarm is buzzing, and I try to stop it, it stops and goes on snooze and buzzes intermittently.
At about 6am I get up, I have managed to switch my phone to French language while trying to stop it buzzing, but thankfully I haven't accidentally phoned anyone, as I have before.
I dump my cardboard in the bin and walk towards town, I stash my sleeping bag and spare clothes on the way.
6.30am, my search for stickers is fruitless, I only have one.
The street cleaner girl goes past and shouts hello to me, she is one of us really, only she has a flat, but she often ignores everyone or rages so I am glad she is in a good mood.

I find an old bottle and fill it with water and climb up on the wall, I have no money so I get my stove and brew kit out and brew coffee, this coffee is made with powdered milk, which I am allergic to, but I need a hot drink, it is bitter cold.
I sit and drink coffee and look up at the white-blue beautiful sky and watch the clouds rolling in. Beautiful, I am privilaged to see this and it makes me feel better.
7am, two hours until the library opens, two hours to kill, I check the bins again but there is nothing, I notice a few bins are missing, I must grumble to the council, they have been removing my valuable bins without warning me. Dont they realise the potential sticker loss.

7.30, I go to have my wash and change my knickers, I don't want to smell bad when I go to the dentist today. I wish I had a change of socks, socks are like gold to a homeless person and my foot is still infected, I wet the sock with TCP, this infection is a real infection, not athletes foot in case you were wondering.

8am, an hour to kill, the vicar is crazily reversing her car in the square and she waves, I want to ask her for a cup of tea but she is obviously busy.
I sit for a very long time and then have another brisk walk, Cheerful is on his pitch, he tells me it is going to be another bad winter and I should get shelter, I tell him I was out the winter before last and survived that and it can't be worse.

Then it is library time, and here I am.

A number of sources of tea are around at 10am, and possibly some beans on toast, yum. And there should be a small praise service and light lunch at church at 1pm.

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