This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

after my cuppa at McD's this morning there was an awful lot of time to kill, there are no post office cash points in this town and so I am forced to wait until 9.00 before I can gte any of my latest lot of benefit money.

Two hours is a long time to kill when you are very tired and are carrying a heavy load.

I go into a 24 hours gymn and look at their computers in pretence of being interested in membership, and I sit out on a bench but it starts to rain, cold rain.
I go into a chemist shop and have a look at what they sell.

I sit out again when the rain stops, and I read the metro.
Then it is coming up to 9am and I go to the Post Office, only to find that they don't open until 9.30 on a Tuesday.

I go and sit outside and rummage in my bag, I find my oil, it is menthol not clove, and I find my cough mixture, not that that works. I also find a little chocolate bar, which is nice because I am now very hungry.
Then I go and have my wash.

The Post Office opens and I go to withdraw my money, then I go accross to the cafe and get some breakfast and tea.
as soon as I have eaten I feel queasy and I hurry to the toilet, my stomch churns but I am not sick, so I leave, but as I leave I realise I am going to be sick after all and I hurry back into the toilet and spectacularly aim at the toilet as I vomit, and most of it goes in.
I am pretty sure that my whole breakfast simply came straight back up, so that was a waste.

I went to the shop and got some lozenges and antacids, and then went to the tea stall and had a few quiet teas without being sick. and Left my bag in left luggage until 4pm

Then I shakily made my way to the daycentre, I kept going boiling hot and shaking cold again.
Got to the daycentre and found it very crowded due to another outreach nearby being closed.
I got a cuppa but I felt quite ill, so the staff put a chair in a quiet corner and let me rest while the others qued up for lunch, there must have been more than a hundred queing, this is a one off due to the other place being closed for deep cleaning.
Eventually I joined the back of the que and got some pasta bake and chocolate pudding, delicious, my stomach turned but I wasn't sick.

Then I went back to snoozing on my chair and reading a book of course.
Then it was my turn in the shower, and I didn't want to come out,
the water was so refreshing and soothing.
But there were other people waiting, so I dragged myself out and went to drink tea and read my book.

This is my type of daycentre, no sign in, no records, just come and go, sometimes this type of daycentre is more relaxed and easy. And some of the guys are quite polite, they say hello and ask how I am.
The staff are nice enough to me as well. The right balance.

As I left the daycentre I started feeling very shaky again. So I got the bus up to where my bag was stored and got my bag and then made the ten or fifteen minute journey up to the next town, there is a night shelter and a backpacker hostel in the next town and I have stayed in both of those, and my plan was to check out the backpacker hostel again.
But because I am ill and tired I stop at the nightshelter instead, they are open for outreach and they book me in for 8pm this evening when the shelter opens and they let me sit and drink tea, and they offer me soup.
I am safely in there tonight because I am too ill to be on the streets.
I am still on the records at the shelter as I stayed a night years ago.

I have a bad cold with a chest infection and a temperature, I don't know why I was sick though, I also have an infection in my good foot that is making walking more difficult.

after having a few cuppas at the outreach I start walking here to the library but building works get in the way and I suddenly get an upset stomach and have to run to get here to the toilets.
Oh Lord, why am I ill?

Tonight is also going to be wet, it is raining now.

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