Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Friday, 19 October 2012

Good morning bloggys,

I am in a cold bus station, well it's a little bit warmer than outside, it smells of bleach.

Last night I went to soup kitchen, soup kitchen wasn't very inspiring, there wasn't much food to go round. I was fortunate to get some soup quickly before it was all gone, one of the men was being a gent and passed me a cup of soup before he got his own soup.
I was given an egg sandwich, which is better than nothing.but I may be intolerant of eggs as I tend to get upset stomach.
Anyway, there is coffe but no tea, but they offer to get some QT from the car, I say it doesn't matter but they do anyway, I have several coffees and several QTs, what a pity it is such a poor soup kitchen when I most need feeding and tea when sometimes there is loads of tea.

Then I start feeling sick and tired, which is when one of the disinterested staff starts pestering me about 'getting somewhere for the winter' when will they learn?

There was a funny incident though, I walked to the edge of the soup kitchen area as I waited, then I heard a whimpering and realised that someone's dog was tied up and was making a fuss, he was well camoflaged so I hadn't seen him, his owner, a homeless woman started hurling abuse at him for whimpering, and a man near her looked round and thought she was hurling abuse at me because he hadn't noticed the dog, he looked from her to me and looked utterly shocked, she noticed him and pointed to the dog and old him she was telling the dog off, not me, and we all started laughing. well it was funny.

Someone else greeted me and asked how I am, he is a friendly Big Issue seller.

At the end of soup kitchen my stomach was in knots and I was exhausted, QT has powdered milk in it and I am allergic to that, so either that or the egg was reacting badly to me, so I threw up some of my supper and wandered around with crampy belly until I found some 24 hour toilets and was grateful for that.

Then I went to my sleeping place, it was only 9pm but I was tired.
I bedded down and slept, I woke every hour during the night, at about half past the hour, usually noise woke me, noisy traffic or drunk people shouting, but in between wakings I slept.

I dreamed and my dreams were sad and from the past, I dreamed that I was with my family and my big sister came to stay, she took my bedroom without me being consulted and so I had no bed, and she said 'It's your younger sister who is suffering worst', as if I didn't matter, I don't know what my sister was suffering, but she had a bed.
Then I dreamed of my old friends, they looked through me, talked over me as if I didn't exist, and when I shouted one of their names they looked round and then went on as if I wasn't there.

These dreams didn't worry me too much, it was the terrors and distresses when I woke each time that troubled me.

I got up at quarter to six, and no one, no outreach had disturbed me, so that is ok.
The ground I slept on was still too damp and I had more cardboard, but at least I was hidden and sheltered in case the weather got bad, as it was it stayed dry and mild but the temparature noticably dropped in the last few hours to morning.

I wish the bad memories would fade and I wish the Russians would stop spamming my blog and messing my statistics up.
I think they put a crawler thing on any blog with links, how sad, there is nothing worth spamming on here.

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