Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Last night I went hopefully to the takeaway, very hungry, but the skater boys have grown into a big greedy gang who are rude and obstructive, they don't care that I am homeless and hungry as long as they get the food. So I went away hungry. I went to the samaritans, that was mildly helpful, I suppose, the depression has a grip on my throat at the moment and nothing seems helpful.

I go to soup kitchen, I dread going there because some of them are too rough, and one of them, drugged and crazy does take to grabbing me and trying to push me out the way. I get a ham sandwich which is a bit dry but I eat it very quickly as I wait to get a cup of tea, I get some tea but they use powdered milk, I am often sick if I have powdered milk, no idea why.

I manage to get some more sandwiches and tea, that is all they have, it is funny how they are called a soup kitchen and yet they never do soup.

I start heading back to my sleeping place, as I walk past where I was grabbed by the thug, someone comes running up, oh no! But it is just a young man who asks if I can spare him some money for the bus, I tell him I am homeless and have nothing, this always gets a confused reaction and he hurries off to find someone else.

I have some sandwiches for my breakfast in the morning if I want them, these sandwiches are donated to soup kitchen by a cafe chain, and I actually don't enjoy them much. Golly I sound ungrateful and gloomy, depression is winning at the moment, usually I squash the depression as much as I can, but at the moment I can't.

I go to my sleeping place, my little space is full of leaves that have fallen since I've been away. I unwrap my bedding and it has stayed dry, I sort my bed out and look at the sky, it is a cloudy sky and it has rained here, I hope it doesn't rain in the night, I think that either it will rain or it will be cold, I prefer the cold. I wrap up and settle down, the sky starts to clear, I fall asleep, I dream of church and courts and police, of being unable to defend myself.

I wake up and I am warm and comfortable, it isn't too cold, the sky has a thin layer of cloud, I stayed warm and slept well.
I pack up my bedding and head into town to the market toilets, then I go looking for stickers but I don't find any, then I go to the toilets again for my wash. I am not hungry nor craving a hot drink so I wait for the library to open and go and sit at a computer and feel useless.

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