Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 19 November 2011

Hello,
It is Saturday, 11.55am.

yesterday after blogging I went and brewed a hot drink and cooked a tin of soup, rather a lot of liquid for a meal, but I don't really have anything solid left to eat.

I came back to the library and read books until 7pm, then I went looking for the elusive people who sometimes help, I never go to their houses, I only go to the churches in the hope that they are there.There is no-one there, only the choir at one church, and they don't know me.

I went to another church, it was unlocked and the lights were on and the radiators were warm but cooling down. I went in but no-one was there, I am sure I remember this happening before, I go in and sit nervously, hoping that whoever comes to lock up will be sympathetic. No-one comes.

I go and sit by the radiator, resting my bad arm against it in the hope of helping it. I fall asleep and wake up again at 10.30pm, no-one has been in but I slept well for a few hours, the radiator is now cool.

I consider the situation, I would like to sleep in the church but I know it causes church leaders headaches if anyone sleeps in the church, and I don't want to fall out with them, there is nowhere to hide in the church, and I don't want to be locked in and found in the morning, on the other hand I am sleepy and I want a sheltered night's sleep somewhere safe. I decide to go to where my bedding is and decide as I go.

I decide on staying outside for the night and sleep alongside the other church's wall (the church that lets me store my bedding), I sleep on the church side of the wall because it is safer.
The new sleeping bag is kind of feather filled, like an eiderdown sleeping bag, I arrange my now plentiful bedding and tuck down for a warm and fairly sleepful night, I wake at 7.30am realising that it is light and my alarm hasn't gone off. I clear up and brew tea, I use the last of my sugar in the tea.

I go back to the church that was open, I will never know if it was left open all night as there are other people going in for pre-mass prayers, I decide that the hunt for food is more important than prayers, so I keep looking for food, nothing. I have a wash in the toilets.

There is a craft fair being set up and I wonder if they will do tea, they are doing tea and I tell the man that I am homeless and have no money and he lets me have a tea for free - I only do this if I have to. There is also cake being given out, free to anyone, and chocolates, this helps to raise my blood sugar, though the cake is only a small piece and I will still be hungry for a while.

There is no other food to be had anywhere, so I will return to raid this fair again later, I have a tin or two left but I have to be sparing with the tins and the cooker fuel as both are running out.

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