Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Monday, 14 November 2011

back by popular demand

I have been reminded to write my blog :)

It was difficult to do anything yesterday, I was restless and I saw no point in trying to stand at the computer and trying to write. I read a few books and drank lots of tea. Stickers have been plentiful.

The weather has remained grey and drizzly and alternatively mild or coldish. I went to evening church, which was just a shorter version of memorial day service, and not very interesting.

I went to the samaritans, but didn't find that very helpful.

As I was walking back from church, one of the protesters, V. shouted to me, he was in a shop doorway with the girl who drinks a lot. He told me he had left the protest as they were winding him up. He said there had been a fight and he had left. He also said that the protesters had been given notice by the council.
I asked him why he had been in the library with the police the other day, he said that they were looking for a young lad who had gone on the run with a huge knife. Well at least I am reassured that they weren't looking for me, the terrors of the police always come back to me, especially after that incident the other night.

V. was talking about getting his friends to come round and bash up the protesters and their tents because they had annoyed him so much. They aren't very grateful protesters, he is a trained St. John's Ambulance person and health and safety official and the camp needed him. I asked him to wait until I had left town before he  and his friends did any damage, in case the protesters tried to blame me. V. is a very transparent and friendly person, he surprised me by his friendliness when I first met him, I wondered what he was up to, but he has always been friendly, throughout my dispute with the protesters and up to now.
He tells me he has heard that I have Aspergers Syndrome, I acknowledge that and he tells me he knows several people who have Aspergers, he says that I should recognise one of them, a man who wears a white jacket and walks about reading a book and who has swastikas all over his house. No, I don't know this guy, people with Aspergers have all sorts of peculiarities though. :)

The smilies are to annoy my friend.

Anyway, I leave V. and his friend as they start an involved conversation with each other about friends and sleeping arrangements. She is  saying she is going to sleep rough tonight, she likes sleeping rough, I tell her it will be cold and she could ask soup kitchen for another blanket.

I am getting a glut of stickers, this town is good for stickers. So I go to McD's for a cuppa.
I end up going to soup kitchen.

My big issue friend is there, he tells me without any shame that he has been booted out of the hostel for fighting, he says that when he is drunk he just goes mad, he tells me that he slept in a doorway last night but he was freezing, I tell him to ask soup kitchen if they have more blankets, the secret is to wrap up as warm as you can. He asks if I have a boyfriend yet. NO! I am not looking for a boyfriend. Poor man, he can't understand that. He will be applying to go back in the hostel tomorrow.

I drink lots of hot chocolate, despite knowing I will be up in the night, and I eat a ham sandwich. The protesters are re-arranging some of their camp.
I head for bed, I love this walk on Sunday nights when the world goes silent.

I go to my sleeping place and settle my bed down, my bed goes like this, an old blanket on the ground, the lesser sleeping bag on top of it, me on top of that, a wool blanket on top of me and a sleeping bag on top, scarf and hat for my neck and head and a shawl round that, a little inflatable pillow and the toy giraffe as a pillow, with a heat sachet or a herb sachet under the pillow if I have them, and my backpack goes in the black waterproof bedding bag overnight. I have to get to my sleeping place and set my bed up carefully and quietly as I am so close to dwellings that it would be easy to be spotted and objected to, so I do things bit by bit, and stop to watch every few minutes.

I was thinking that I will miss this sleeping place if I move on, it is partially sheltered from the weather and fairly safe and private if I am careful.
I am preparing to move on, maybe only for a while, but I have taken a liking to this kind town.

I sleep well, I hear the rain falling lightly sometimes, but I don't get wet, I get up at 4am for the toilet and immediately sleep again.

At about 7.30am I get up and go down to the market, I go to the toilet and then to the tea stall, I drink large mugs of strong tea and listen to the talk.

Then I go to have my wash, I come back to the tea stall and enjoy tea and toast.
I find no stickers at all in the bins in my search today.

I go to the library, but my planned day of blogging is ruined. I get messages from someone who I was arranging to share a house with, and who I was making the journey to see tomorrow, he is changing his mind and being negative, this is bad news, but things get worse, as my friend who is one of his relatives gets involved and she tells me that he has said I have been offered a housing association house and turned it down, this is blatantly untrue, I haven't been offered anything, but he is telling her that he is doubtful about me because I turned the housing association down. I am really upset, what more can go wrong? I have already booked the tickets and made arrangement to pick up the things I have in storage in London on the way.

It has ended with me not on very good terms with my friend, and I am not going to the house share! I couldn't get the ticket refunded, so I had it amended so that I can go somewhere else, and I also got it made into a return ticket for free, so tomorrow I will be on the move and on the way to London where I will stop off at the coach transfer and see people in London and maybe get a haircut free at the college before going on from London to my next destination. But I will end up back here on the return ticket. The other good thing about tomorrow is that I don't have to get the coach so early now, and I have more time in London to sort out any London things and see people there.

what a day, what a life! I tried so hard to live a quiet life, but something always goes wrong.

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