Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Sunday, 19 July 2015

Sunday morning

Good morning,

Now somewhat rested, I will update properly from Friday evening to now.

On Friday I went for a pepsi with the person I was going to the cinema with and then we went to see the film 'Self/less'.
Self/less was a psychological/sci-fi thriller, very fast and thought provoking, it was basically about a mad scientist creating a process to transfer minds from dying bodies in order to save the elite.
It was the living again as a different person that got me, because of course that is what I have done, and having just put a deposit on the first car in my new life, it was funny to see that similarity.
The film got a bit violent and a bit complex, but we enjoyed it, and by the time the film had finished, I was in time to get one of the late buses home, while my mate headed off for a swift half or something before he went home, because I had said I wouldn't drink with him and he had agreed with that.

Anyway, I got home quite late, and because the car now had the deposit on, I insured it, and started trying to do the tax but had the wrong reference number, so the tax had to wait.
The UK tax system has changed since I had a car here in my last life, and so has the insurance system, you don't wait for a cover note, you just print your insurance certificate, so by Friday night I had an insurance certificate, and I did the tax yesterday, you can now tax instantly online with the log book or new keeper reference number, and you don't need a tax disc any more.

Anyway, so there I was, going to bed at midnight on Friday, when I had the heavy papers and a morning's work to do on Saturday, no wonder I don't go out much, I thrive on early nights and early mornings.

Anyway, I slept well and hardly noticed the heavy papers on Saturday, which is a habit since I have done some very heavy work contracts recently, I don't notice the heavy papers any more.
After the papers, I had to head for work, and spent a pleasant morning working peacefully.

Then I came home via an ice cream and some P-plates for the car, I am not a newly qualified driver but I haven't driven since before I died in Jersey so I am going to have P-plates until I feel more confident.

When I got home, it was time for swim things and down to the beach, it was warm but a a bit cloudy, the sea was cool and messy and I enjoyed a quick swim.
Then when I got home I lit a disposable BBQ and did salad and iced coke zero to go with it, and I did some gardening.
After the BBQ, I used the smouldering BBQ to light a bonfire pile that I had built up from clearing the back garden, and I spent the evening tending the bonfire.
We have a massive garden and some of it has needed serious work, we have a lady gardener who has been coming once a fortnight for years, but she has not been able to keep control of the garden with the hours she does, so I have taken on some hours, and I get paid for it as if it was one of my normal jobs, but it has the advantage of being here at home, so I can drink tea and things.

Anyway, after a smoky evening, I fell into bed exhausted and slept.

Today was due rain but the rain was early and it is brighter now.
I was dreaming a lot, dreamed of ice skating, which I jolly well should go and do!
Then I dreamed a lot about churches and priests and church people, over and over, most of whom I was trying to avoid or telling to get stuffed.
But the last dream was really quite profound.

I dreamed I was walking up a hill, past churches and through corridors, avoiding priests and people, then I was at Wolvsley Palace in Winchester, wearing roller skates and a baseball cap.
The Bishop of Winchester and other Bishops and dignitaries (fat old men) were there, and they greeted me with great joy and friendliness, and I snubbed them because I wanted to go rollerskating.
Then there were old dissaproving church ladies, you know the type, they were making snide comments about me with my roller skates and baseball cap, and, don't blame me for not being in control of my dreams and being so rude to everyone but I went over to them and said 'Did your parents bring you up to talk about people like that?!'
Horrified silence.
To be honest I have no idea why I would be wearing a baseball cap anyway, those caps press against my very sensetive temples and make my head ache.

I woke up, astounded by this dream.
Roller skates?
You know how when you are dozing and half awake after a dream and you think 'What if I do that?'
I was imagining roller skating down my road., but to be honest, basic roller skates would be dangerous and possibly harmful to my legs, I would need those roller blade boots if I was going to be on wheels, and even then, it would be a question of seeing if it strengthened my legs or put strain on them.
When I was learning to surf in Jersey, the instructor told me I should get a skateboard to strengthen my weak right leg, and I did, and it would be so tempting now that I can walk, to get another skateboard, and David would fall about laughing if he saw me skating along the sea wall, as if I was back in Jersey on St. Aubins bay again :) I would rather be here, St. Aubins Bay stinks.

Anyway, I dozed off again after my strange dreams and woke late, 7am, the shop opens at 7 on a Sunday but I didn't get there until 7.20.
But the Sunday round is relatively easy, and I was soon home and having breakfast, my bonfire is still smouldering, but it is contained and neat.

We are due to collect the car tomorrow, and I am just going to have a quiet day today, for once.
Haha.
I will go to the car boot sales if the weather holds.
I got some lamb for lunch, makes a change from chicken.

I found this, and it is interesting to see how far I have come since the decision to go on living that I made in 2012: http://whatislove-2010.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/from-victim-to-survivor-to-thriver.html


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