This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Friday, 31 March 2017


Good evening peeps,

Well I am so tired and achy.

This morning I fell out of bed, as sleepy as usual but you will be pleased to know that despite being able to feel the back injury in my sleep, I was walking sound today, it twinges but I think it was a trapped nerve or mild muscle strain, nothing worse.

I headed for work, the rain had been raining when I woke but it died out as forecast, but I arrived at work with the usual distaste for a wet and cold start, the worst thing is that everything is wet and muddy.

I grabbed a barrow, and a head appeared round the door, the man of the house,still in his pyjamas, he told me that one of the ewes had been struggling to lamb since the previous day but the vet had said to leave it, he commented on the miserable weather and I said it was due to improve, and as he was telling me about sheep and no-one else was around, I assumed I was in charge of sheep as well as the impossible amount of gardening that that place needs.
I assumed correctly as the answer to that question was affirmative. The lady of the house was off on a long journey to visit one of her parents in hospital and the man would be off to work, no-one else on site, so it would just be me, ho-hum, that long border may never be finished.

So I checked on the sheep who wasn't lambing, ringwomb, gimmer ewe, the vet had been called out at 10pm the previous night and said leave it, but this ewe had been straining for some time with no dilation. Commercial flocks would not have the luxury of a vet, especially not late at night, only a hobby flock would do that.
Anyway, there was another ewe considering starting, so I made a pen and got her in.
This wasted my gardening time, but you will be pleased to know that my two lambs from last week were doing well, they do that awesome thing of leaping off the ground with all four legs, everyone thinks that is cute.

Anyway, I finally got back onto the gardening and as I did, the lady of the house came home, she said she was worried about being away from the sheep at a time like this. And to be honest I do find it a bit strange to keep being dropped in it with the sheep after a gap of some years since I used to work with sheep. My last flocks were in Dorset and Wiltshire before Jersey and although I took a lot of responsibility, it has still been a long time and a lot has happened to me since then.

Anyway, I worked and worked, hard and aching work, hands full of thorns and stings and fighting to get my work done, dragged away to the sheep and to cut a hedge at various times, I nearly finished the long border by the end of the day.

Unfortunately I had become distressed by something in the paper at lunchtime and had been battling flashbacks as I worked, and the flashbacks got worse as the afternoon and evening went on, they are still affecting me. I managed to reverse Max into a post earlier because I was upset, no harm done but I have to be careful when there are flashbacks and Max, because safety is the most important thing.

I got home, aching, muddy and tired, and I really had to get on with the washing as I haven't done any since I moved, and as well as needing clean work clothes for next week, my adoptive mum is over tomorrow and I will not embarrass her by being a scruffyperson when we go out.
The weather is looking showery for tomorrow.

I was just looking at tyre quotes for Max, not too dire, he will have four new tyres and the best of his old tyres will be the new spare.

I so much need a lie in, but I will have to get up and wash and oil Max in the morning, he is a real gardener's car at the moment, including snails and shield bugs, mum may not like that.

A week's full time hard work done. Wow. My hands have dirt ingrained in them.

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