Good evening peeps,
I am still having troubled nights, you know how I used to turn the lamp on in my sleep for no apparent reason? Well I did that during the night last night, it is very funny but also very strange, do any of you do odd nocturnal things? I think it is because I am here in a strange dark bedroom and there is no noise, no people, no earplugs, no-one disturbing me and maybe I am afraid in my sleep, certainly the nightmares would point to that.
Anyway, this morning was ever so slightly a better effort to get up and get sorted before work.
My team mate wasn't so organized, he had forgotten to drop the ton bags off for me and was having a day off, he said he had just woken up when I texted him, he was tired, he has been working hard the same as me, but I don't get a day off at the moment.
Anyway, he dropped the bags off for me, and told me that someone on the estate had been complaining about him loafing around and not working enough, I couldn't believe it, he and I have the same work ethic and with the boss off sick and with one mower and one strimmer last week, neither of us got to loaf around! We do have the other mower back, it needed a new coil.
Hmm, didn't know mower needed contraceptives. I guess new mowers have to come from somewhere though.
Anyway, my work today was the holiday home that I do a day on once a month, it is a favourite in a way because it is beautiful and peaceful there and I have access to hot drinks and the loo. but it is hard work, and today was no exception, the weeds had gone mad in the month since the last visit, so I started off with a few hours just weeding the driveway, then I mowed the lawn and got on with weeding the extensive back garden.
The caretaker came round in the afternoon when I had about an hour left, he told me he was staining the shed, but because of his accent I thought he said 'staying in the shed' at first, and quickly realized what he meant. He is OK, he told me that the gardens looked good and that he would find me some manure for the borders, how nice. I have to admit, the gardens do look different now, they were way out of control when I took the job last summer.
Anyway, I had a mishap, I stumbled backwards over one of the railway sleepers in the garden and jarred my back, it was strange because I didn't fall and the stumble was slight but my lower back screamed suddenly as if I had done a bad injury, it took a minute to recover and it has affected me since, it isn't severe but I can feel it, I suppose I will find out tomorrow how bad it is, I can't afford to be off sick like the boss has been with his injured back. The injury has fallen on the side of my good leg and the pain runs down my good leg, which is not good, I fell on my bad leg last week and that remains mildly awkward.
Anyway, thankfully tomorrow is Friday, and if the rain allows, I will work 7 hours on the country estate where I helped with lambing last week, it will be hard work but then at least it will be the weekend.
I don't have the most restful weekend though even though I need to rest, my adoptive mum is coming for the day on Saturday, and on Sunday I have church and then the walk with the gang. I guess these things are relaxation but what I need is one good day of pouring rain so I can rest, working full time all of a sudden and renting a flat without the aid of housing benefit is quite a jump forward and I hope my body and mind can withstand it.
A survivor of Church abuse and cover ups goes on battling for her voice to be heard. A daily account of life after the Diocese of Winchester destroyed her and the slow and painful steps to rebuilding a life.
Introduction
This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP
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