This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Wednesday, 8 March 2017


Good morning peeps,

I am a poorly nortyperson. I woke at 2am, shivering and all hot and achy, I got the blankets and some squash and paracetamol, but I didn't sleep properly after that. I have postponed today's work.

It is raining a bit. I would have done the pressure washing, but I am too poorly. I will see how I feel. I have been sick a lot recently and I have to go to the clinic and ask them if they can wrench my shoulder to see if I get better, because a lot of the ill is from my wrecked body. Although I think the dentist on top of the hard work was just too much for me.
I don't know if dental ex-rays make people ill or just if my body hates any meddling and goes into protest, I know my jaw is sensitive enough to make me ill all on it's own. But wow, I haven't woken up shivering at 2am for a very long time.

I am all medded up now and I do feel better but the pain behind my eyes is such that I have no wish to go anywhere yet. Not even to play a trick on my fellow gardener. I mustn't leave that too late!

I was just looking things up and it says that 5HTP, my anti-depressant, can be used as a painkiller. I am not dependent on 5HTP, I take it when my mood drops very low, but I am just chewing some now to see if it helps. I can't take medical prescription anti-depressants, so I take 5HTP and it works and it doesn't have build up or withdrawal times, it can also be used for insomnia but it causes vivid dreams and sometimes nightmares, and a drugged feeling in the morning which would affect my work.

That reminds me, I was dreaming about my dad again last night, he and my sister were playing scrabble. I looked at the score sheets and it said 22/10, day 3, end of game.
I think my brain was slightly out there, but to be honest I am not sure I remember.

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