Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 11 March 2017

Saturday

Good evening peeps,

Well I woke up at 6am this morning and dashed to the loo several times, the meds don't really stop the dire rear.
Anyway, after a few dashes to the loo, I took meds and paracetamol and water and went back to sleep...and woke up at 2.30 this afternoon!

Unbelievable. Sleeping in the day is totally alien to me. I am still not completely well.

Anyway, at 2.30 this afternoon I had not eaten since yesterday, nor had much to drink, I wasn't hungry despite not having had a full meal since Tuesday, but I was dehydrated. So I had lots to drink, and I had a shower as I was a right mess. And I had some toast. Eating anything makes my guts turn over. But it is survivable with meds. there is only liquid slurry still but at least it doesn't keep on and on like it did without meds.

After a while I decided I needed fresh air and I would be alright to drive, so I had a little drive over to the sea and the storage barn. The mist was deeply thick and deep.
I didn't stay out long, I went into the supermarket and got some Dioralyte which is disgusting but effective, and some vitamin C and various other necessities, being ill is expensive. My friend from church texted me and told me that she knew three other people with this bug, so it isn't just me. It is a vicious bug, so I won't be going to church tomorrow.

When I got home I made my first full meal since Tuesday. Diced beef fried with salt and garlic and herbs, served with soft basmati rice. Very tasty, no severe side effects. I chose beef because I needed iron and vitamins and things from it and I am tired of chicken anyway.

I have just been idling around, I am tired and it is hard to focus but I am trying to keep things normal rather than just sleep. The sleep, and giving up on looking after myself are too tempting. The thought of oblivion and being somewhere where the Church of England and their terrible branding of me don't exist is too tempting, so I have to make myself look after myself and keep things as normal as possible.

I am so tempted to go out for a walk actually, I crave fresh air. So I may do that, even if it is a dangerous weekend night.

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