Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Monday, 5 December 2011

Those of you who disapprove of my cannibal joke and think it's tasteless, the cannibal ate the vicar and choked on his/her dog collar. :)

Yesterday I had the beginnings of a migraine, I wasn't hypoglycemic because I had chocolate and sweets and biscuits, but I needed more solid food, I sometimes get a migraine when i don't eat properly.
I went on a wild goose chase to a place that the rudeman said was open every day for people who wanted a cuppa, but it was indeed a wild goose chase, in the freezing cold wind.
The only good thing was that I found a box with some pizza in thrown in the hedge, it was probably thrown there last night and it seemed ok, I ate one slice, that way if it has any nasty germs then it wont affect me too much, but I think the cold has kept the germs at bay, it tasted ok.

I came back and found a final sticker so I could get a cuppa at McD's, then I walked up to the Samaritans, as I walked I found a small amount of money and a McD's cheap meal voucher, I had a nice chat with a samaritan and then went to McD's and gratefully ate a meal with another cuppa, it is not the most nutritious food but it is solid and foody, and nowhere else is open in this town this late on a Sunday.
While I was in the Samaritans it poured with rain, now it has returned to being freezing cold and clear, I hope it doesn't rain during the night, it seems to alternate rain and freezing cold at the moment, better than this time last year though, it was snowing madly this time last year and with a bitter east wind.

I walk up to the church, the students are leading the service tonight, it is good, and my friend who I helped with teas and coffees on Tuesday keeps me company and gets other people to talk to me, then the vicar press gangs me into coming to the 18-30s group after church, it is nice, we have sausage pie and mince pies and soft drinks and a good debate.
The vicar gives me a lift back into town and says that I should never go hungry or worry about anything because if I need anything I can come and ask at church and that I should come and help with lunch club on Tuesday and get a meal there. He gives me some money and says that whenever I need money I should come to the church and ask. Another offer that I will never abuse.

I felt safe in church and enjoyed the company of the other young people, I realised that though it is an informal church they do not throw visions and signs and wonders about, they don't wave flags and fall over with the Holy Spirit, but they worship well and are welcoming, it is good, I felt safe, and I realised duringthe service that the people connected to the church abuse case have lost me and are not coming after me any more, I am in safety of sorts, and I enjoy tea hour with my market friends, I enjoy seeing my daycentre and church friends, and I enjoy lazily chatting with my soup kitchen friends in the evening now, I am no longer rejected and nervous of soup kitchen. I have made friends now without the people who damaged me intervening.

when the vicar drops me off in town I go to soup kitchen, I have some tea and a sandwich and a natter, it is freezing cold, soup kitchen give me a shawl, which I wrap round my head and neck.
I go to get my bedding and settle down in the alleyway, it is cold but the sky is clear, no rain, I sleep well but in the morning the migraine is still there. I dreamed of all kinds of things last night, a kaleidoscope of situations all mixed together and too much to remember and explain.
I go to the market and enjoy the chatter and gossip and plenty of tea.
I have a quick wash and then go to the library. I am taking painkillers for migraine but the migraine doesn't care.

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