Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Thursday, 22 December 2011

It's ok, I was only giving up the blog yesterday, not forever, or were you hoping?

I went to drop a letter off for the mission people yesterday after library, I didn't feel like Samaritans, or anything else, I just wanted to wander about, I didn't even feel like soup kitchen, but I went anyway. Soup kitchen was a chicken sandwich and a banana and a futile struggle to get a cup of tea because the hostel lads kept pushing in and the soup kitchen servers ignored me and let the others push in, oh well, I went to McD's instead as I was too tired to stand around waiting and I had enough stickers for a cup of tea.

It was a warm night the ground was very wet from the rain but it wasn't raining, I was very tired and I bedded down and slept snugly, I woke once for the toilet, maybe it had rained very lightly but it wasn't raining, I slept until 7am and reluctantly got out of my warm bedding pile, my black bags had disintegrated so I left my bedding there at the mercy of the haters. I will get black bags today.

I went to tea stall, my friends were there. I was surprised when I went to the toilet and came back and the stall people seemed relieved when I came back and said they worried when I wandered off, I said 'are you monitoring me now?' and they laughed and asked if I would help on the stall on Christmas eve, yes I would, because the library is closed then and I would have nowhere to go.

The conditions of my benefits allow me to help friends, and do part time therapeutic work or volunteer work, so I am allowed to help with washing up, wiping surfaces and getting rid of rubbish on the tea stall to keep me occupied for a few hours on Christmas eve in return for free tea and food. I am happy with that.

Tea hour went quickly and it was time for me to have a wash and the library was already open. I did get my bit of drunk Christmas cake too, but I don't dare to eat it yet.

I am normally too scared of going in the lift with anyone else when it comes to going to the top floor of the library, but today Raffish was waiting for the lift and I am not scared of him, it was also the first time I wasn't too shy to have a conversation with him, usually I clam up when he speaks to me but today he asked what I was doing here day by day, I told him I was writing a blog. I wonder if he thinks I am a bit of a boring one now because I didn't tell him I was homeless and writing my high adventures. The library staff now know I am homeless and they are nice.

I just got a missed call, I am scared of missed calls because I don't know who would phone me.

 I have just about stopped coughing blood now. But I strained my good hip getting into my sleeping bag, so I will have something to report to the doctor in order to be worth his time :) haha.

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