Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Thursday, 29 December 2011

At Lunchtime yesterday I went and got the water canister and a tin of soup and set up my stove in the churchyard, I brewed coffee and cooked the tin of soup, then brewed more coffee, I sat in the churchyard with my book and had my soup and coffee, I also found the tub of dried fruit and nuts and chocolate and ate some of that, then I boiled water and disinfected my cup and spoon and put everything away neatly and got rid of my rubbish.
It was nice sitting in the churchyard looking at the long, rusty grass and the sunlight on the tree tops and feeling the bitter freezing wind slicing through me.

It was a long long evening with nothing to do, I went to the Samaritans briefly and had a cup of tea but the talking wasn't helpful.
I managed to keep finding stickers and so I sat in McD's a lot and read my book and the papers. I managed to waste a few hours away like that. When I went out of McD's Scotty was sitting outside with his laptop.
'Are you syphoning wifi?' I asked him, 'Aye, I am', he replied happily, he has missed the library as much as I have. We sat and chatted, his lighter ran out when he tried to light his roll up, he asked if I had a lighter and I had plenty of lighters for my stove, so I gave him a brand new lighter and he gave me a McD's card with five stickers on it, and I already had two, so I had enough to go back in and sit with yet another hot drink while Scotty wandered off as the wifi hadn't been working very well. (He is actually sitting nearby in the library now, on his laptop and enjoying the wifi).

Somehow I managed to keep indoors and out of the cold wind most of the evening and I was a lot less tired. I did have terrors and distresses of the church overwhelming me and I wished I wasn't alone.At 9.30 the toilets in one of the car parks were still open and warm and so I have survived this first long run of bank holidays without being too hungry, thirsty or lacking in toilets.

I waited for soup run and one of the big issue sellers stopped to speak to me, he is always so negative though, he reminds me of Carl in Hometown.
Soup kitchen had a clothing run with it, and I took some teeshirts and jumpers and socks and a scarf because all my scarves were pinched. I also took enough food for the next day.

Then I went back to my sleeping place, I was really worried when I got there and could see someone had been there, the only thing they had taken was my spare coat though, but they had left an empty bottle of methadone and some blood. I don't want to be associated with drug use here, I am on thin enough ice sleeping here when I know that the owners of this alley disapprove, so I threw the methadone bottle over the wall and decided that as it was 11pm whoever had been here had probably gone and wouldn't come back tonight.
I bedded down, the wind was cold and the temperature was low but I got comfortable and slept, my dreams were cartoony and I couldn't remember anything when I woke up.
I set the alarm for early, thinking it would be a good idea to try and gather my bedding in it's disintegrating bags and try to move it back to the shrub, but I was too tired to get up at 5am and I stayed in the blankets until 7am and simply risked putting the bedding under the stairs again.

I had no money and didn't want to go to the tea stall, so I went looking for stickers again, I got as far as five stickers and couldn't find a sixth, as I looked one of the protesters came along, for some reason he asked if I had had a rough night, I said no it was ok, maybe because I was still wearing my hat and coat he may have thought I had been cold in the wind. He was heading off somewhere but he said he would buy me a coffee if I was there when he got back, the problem was he didn't say when he would be back, and I didn't want to hang around too long, I did a circuit of the bins in the area but he still didn't come back, so I went further away, checking bins that I don't usually check, I asked God for one more sticker but he sent me a £5 instead, as I walked I saw a crumpled bit of paper that looked potentially banknotey, and it was that £5, so I thanked God and went to the market for some tea.
By that time it was wash time and then library time, I have my library back until Saturday afternoon. Then more non-library days occur, but I have survived the longest lot of bank holidays now.
It is raining today as well.

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