Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

music

I can't write anything, I feel so utterly useless. I am alone, the good and the people who I loved are the other side of a wall that I can never climb back over, I am the Bad, I am in the Dark.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChU4M3fe-9Q&feature=related
David Essex - 'A winter's tale', This is the Christmas that has gone, Christmas with my brother, Christmas with the church people, Christmas where I was always poor and needy, Christmas shopping in Roughtown when this was playing in the shop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhBGC_X09Fg&feature=related
Greg Lake - 'I believe in Father Christmas', This reminds me of me and my brother preparing Christmas for our family, we used to listen to these songs, often on headphones or quietly as our parents dissaproved of all christmas songs and carols.
It reminds me of how the illusion of Christmas always being magical only went away for me at that Christmas that my abusers ruined.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACaaAFuNHoY
Roger Miller 'Old Toy Trains', my brother and I used to listen to this, all I remember is me and my brother and how we used to listen to music and spend time together when we were in the hostels when we were children, we didn't have many friends outside the family, it was a hostile place outside the family, but we were like friends in a way.

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