This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Monday, 12 December 2011

I just wonder if the church is ever going to change or if it going to go on being a haven for abusers that reacts by trying to protect its own when reports are made.

The church is a funny division now between old people with blind faith in the leadership no matter how corrupt, leaders who are either walking a tightrope of red tape and confusion as to their role or blatantly abusing the system and people, and finally young people pulled in and told to do as they like in order to keep the church alive.

The main church in England is a government department headed by the queen. The safegurding office once told me that they get hundreds of complaints of abuse or misconduct every month, is there any other government department that could get away with this month after month, year after year?! and keep it hidden?

The wealthy old church has money despite professing to be broke, and when it comes to repairing and maintaining buildings they hold their hands out to the congregation for money and give them pressure-based sermons, of which I have heard loads, all about 10% and what is God asking of you? I could repeat one of these sermons in my sleep it is simply 'we want your money so we are asking through a 'sermon' and what would Jesus Himself think of this?
Well, maybe if we could tie a few loose ends together and educate the starry eyed middle class old ladies about the level of abuse and shaming of victims there are in the church and assure them that the archbishop is a government politician who refuses and ignores pleas from abuse victims then maybe the old ladies could say 'hang on, you maintain your own falling down buildings that you provide, we will keep our money until abuse doesn't happen in the church and shaming and cover ups stop, because serving money and not God is one thing, destroying lives is another, worse thing'. Would this ever happen? no.

Those church people who both made me feel small and showed off in the paper about going to Africa, what if they were made to work with the Clergy abuse charities and help 'rebuild shattered lives' as they claimed to do in Africa, would you see them so happy and smug in the paper then? No, no little holiday there, and nothing to be proud of, they enthuse over Africa and look good and Christian but if it comes to closer to home and actually facing the people that the church themselves have directly damaged, of course they wont. I have known one small independent church that would work with victims, sadly the actions of the diocese meant I couldn't stay around and get help there. The church don't want to admit or acknowledge abuse within the church or what it does to the children and vulnerable people and their faith and lives, and yet the church still wants to look good, look Christian, what does Jesus think of the swanning off to Africa while leaving abuse victims in distress?

By the way the young people who are brought in to make a loud noise and make up tuneless songs and rip the pews out aren't going to save the Great Grim Church, they will just form free churches out of the wreckage. Let it all hang out.

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