Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Monday, 19 December 2011

It stayed frozen and cold yesterday, no thaw, small amounts of frozen snow left but nothing like as bad as last year.

After I left the library I went to the carol service at one of my churches, it was at 4pm, but I didn't settle down and I was crying and upset with bad memories, there was no one there who I could talk to. It was sleet and snow outside but it stopped before I left, I made my way to one of the other churches and there I was ok throughout the carol service, and there was party food and hot drinks afterwards.

I went to the Samaritans and that was helpful, they were generous with the cups of tea as well.
Then I went to soup kitchen, they had a little stove there with real soup brewing on it, it was nice.
Two of the protesters were there, one of the started telling someone else there about me, saying that I was 'a nice quiet girl who kept herself to herself' and saying he worried about me, he was always nice to me, but one of the aggresive protesters was there as well, he didn't say anything until I was talking with some of the others about fake police officers, because I had seen fake police in London issuing on the spot fines, and the aggresive protester snorted and tried to say there couldn't be fake police, but the other homeless people talked him down and said there were fake police! Fake police are rather less well uniformed than real police.
My Big issue friend was rather less than sober but he made an effort at conversation with me.
I wasn't sure how well my bedding had fared in the snow and rain, so I got a sleeping bag and a shawl from soup kitchen, and it is a good thing I did because some of my bedding, including my feather sleeping bag had got wet.

The temperature was in the minuses and I tucked down hoping to get warm enough. it wasn't too bad, but I kept having to get up to go to the toilet, part of the problem is that soup kitchen is too late at night.

Anyway, I dreamed sad confused dreams about church, family, police etc. But just before I woke up in the morning I dreamed I had been found and was trying to flee with my bedding, I often dream things like that, anxiety dreams.

I got up and rebagged my bedding, I went and put it away and went to the tea stall.  Tea stall was merrily adding little tots of rum to people's tea, and they added too much to mine, I don't normally drink but I allowed a bit of rum, after all I have a cold and alcohol is good for colds, but the rum tea was too strong so I didn't drink all of it.

I went to the stores to get more bread for the tea stall people, and had a fresh cup of tea when I got back, the conversations were as much fun as usual.

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