This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Wednesday, 21 February 2018


Good evening peeps,

Well I am tired, so tired that I am shivering, I need a hot shower but I can't be bothered to leave the office. The office is my bed. I have two offices, the lounge table and my bed, and I use both almost equally.
In bed I have a lap tray for the laptop and my paperwork goes on the bed, and I have my earphones and DVDS and things and my tea on the bedside and I have a hot water bottle and the heavy machine for my spine.
Do you have such comfy offices?

Anyway. Last night I worked on the assignment until I was tired, about 10.30pm, and I packed up, lay down, and slept.
I slept quite well, not too badly anyway.
I woke in the early morning needing the loo, but was too sleepy to get up after going to the loo, and the bed was comfy, I actually rested comfortably without flashbacks triggering, and slept again, it was hard to get up with the alarms.
I got up and there was a rosy and hazy sunrise in the misty cold air, the sea was grey and calm. It looked like the start of a fine day.

I got on with my assignment for a few hours before work, and then off I trotted.

I worked, planting fruit trees, putting grease bands on fruit trees, clearing a fruit cage and a veg patch, and spreading well rotted horse manure around. Generally I worked hard, having recovered well from yesterday's hard work. The key to recovery is not ignoring the necessary routines. If I do pain meds and the heavy machine and deep heat and generally look after myself, I can do heavy work without too much impact on my health, it is the same as travel, with the regular trips to London now, I have got the self-care down to a fine art.

I came home, tired and with rough tough hands and muddy mucky boots, and swapped hats. Not literally but metaphorically. I put my freelance writer's hat on and threw my gardening cap in the cupboard.
I finished the 2,000 word assignment almost right on the deadline, and groaned because the next assignment that came up was the same company, good pay and only 1,300 words this time, but it is stodgy work with many guidelines. So I have that to do before Friday afternoon.

I wonder if my focus on assignments for my base company is holding me back? I hope it is growing my experience. So far I have had 100% acceptance and good feedback. But doing the assignments for them while trying to build the business is hard work, there is so much to do, all the time, and I get so tired, doing heavy labour as a gardener doesn't help, although that has to remain as my official employment and income for the time being. And indeed I have no wish to quit gardening even if I am aching and with very rough and thorn-filled hands at the moment. Winter is when you handle a lot of mud, and it roughens your hands, saves money on sandpaper if anything needs sanding, just use your hands.

Anyway, so I am in the bed office, working until bed time, having started at some unearthly hour.
But, the gardening is still part time at the moment, so unless new requests come in, I am finished gardening for the week. Just writing and working to build my writing career.

Tomorrow is 'Back to the Future' day for me. In the morning I have a meeting about how I can return to gym and fitness safely now that I finally have the diagnosis on my spine. In the evening I am attending a talk by a back expert, my friends are hosting that at their studio, I don't know what to expect from either meeting but I am sure both will help.

It has been a cold but sunny day, lovely for working outside and nice for now being home in bed.

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