This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Tuesday, 27 February 2018


Good evening peeps,

The ground is white with snow but worse is to come.

I am sitting in bed, tired and in pain.

I woke to flashbacks this morning and had trouble getting up, but I did get up, and I went to work and got there on time, the flasbacks and trauma continued as I worked, but I worked hard.
This was a new garden, a big one. It was supposed to be four or five hours, but they cut it to three and a half as they had to go out at 12.45 and as I was new, they didn't want to leave me entirely alone, however, by the time I finished at 12.30, they were so delighted that they gave me their parents' phone number and said that I was their parents' new gardener as well.
I have no credit in my phone, I have another customer to ring because of the forecast. It will have to wait, with snow forecast, I am challenged to get the rent and bills paid this week at all, although from next week things will get better as gardening will then be steady and more writing money will come in.

Anyway, so I came home at lunchtime, very cold from working in the bitter cold wind.
I intended to have lunch, warm up, and go and do more work, the snow had been falling lightly but now it fell very heavily, blizzard like. So I wasn't going anywhere.

I have been sitting in bed, not working much but reading. I used some of my Amazon gift card to get the latest Cathy Glass book. I thought she and Casey Watson were running out of material but it is a dramatic book, with funny parallels. The girl is called Anna, and she has reactive attachment disorder.
It is about an English couple adopting a Russian Orphan.
The problem is, the orphan was already two and a half and speaking Russian, and to me it felt like a cruelty in itself for them to take her from her native country to the UK to adopt her.

Anyway, I have done the usual odds and ends of this and that, not much, sometimes my brain says 'Give it a Rest!' So I do.

My body however, had a three and a half hour intensive workout in doing that heavy gardening work, so at least I will sleep well.

Tomorrow doesn't look too bad for snow, so I will try to work as much as I can.  It is tricky because everything revolved around the farm on Thursday and it is due heavy snow.
I was due to mow at the farm and do farm duties and fit in another garden a few miles from there, to make it all worth the trip, but now the mowing is cancelled, someone else is on standby to do the farm duties if I can't get there in the snow, and the garden a few miles from there obviously can't be done in the snow but it is a question of if it is worth the trip to go and do it tomorrow, I would only do it on farm days normally.

So, with a week of scraping by, my work is flung into chaos with the snow.
And next week I have a whole lot of work. I have everyone's gardens next week.
But here, after tomorrow, I look forward to being snowed in, on a no-car rule for snowy weather, no need if I can't work, and we have local shops. So I can walk and play, and hopefully have enough money for food, I can't imagine our lot panic buying food, although we do have disadvantages relating to snow and food supply.

I am already short of food, I do have some bread and bakery things in the freezer. Tomorrow I will ski down to the shop for toiler rolls and soft spread.

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