This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Thursday, 22 February 2018


Good evening peeps,

I am too tired to write and I need to sleep, but the blogs have statted very high, which indicates a press and media attack by the church, so I write because I have to write, because when they kill me, that will be all that is left. And as you know, every day since March 2013, it has been 'Will they kill me today?' And sometimes they nearly have, and when they do, at least it will be over.


Well it has been a long old day.
I woke from nightmares into terrible flashbacks this morning, it was hard to override them, it always is in the early morning, because often I am too tired to get up, and I know if I get up very early it will affect the whole day, I try to drift through the flashbacks and back into deeper sleep, which doesn't always work. But this morning I got up, it was about 5.30. One advantage of my new writing business is that I have a reason to get up, because the workload can be started any time of day and there will still be plenty left by the end of the day.

So I wrote, and I showered, and I had breakfast, I also cleaned the cooker and put the mucky work clothes in the wash. The sunset was rose and gold again, another cold clear day.

Eventually it was a normal time of day, and I headed to town to pay in and out at the bank, and to check the welfare for food, to say hi to my friend, and to see if I left some tools at the care home, no sign of them.

Then it was time for the first new challenge of the day.
I went to meet the lady about training at the gym and swim with my recent diagnosis. Long term readers will remember that I used to train hard, but when the church destroyed me publicly in May 2016, my life collapsed and I haven't trained or swum since.

The lady was very nice, she talked me through payment plans, but what they wanted to do was get me in on a referral so that I could have triage and full support and a reduced fee.
I am not under the NHS at all, and normally they refer through the NHS. Their specifics are that it has to be a local medical professional who refers me, not my online doctor or the clinic in London.
Thankfully my physiotherapy clinic are registered and allowed to refer me.

It's funny because before the meeting, without even knowing or thinking about any of it, I had emailed my physio clinic to ask if my physio was still there, it turns out he is ill in hospital, and I asked if the clinic did either of the treatments recommended for my back, and discussed having work on my ankle and knee. The clinic had said that they can do one of the treatments for my back, and they are always happy to help. I didn't know I would be emailing them again after the meeting.

The meeting led to me meeting with the GP instructor, who will do the triage and supervision of my training. I already knew him from when I used to train, a solemn chap and very expert indeed, he once told me to look at something on his website as he runs a private fitness firm as well as working for the local gym. I can't remember what it was he got me to look up on his website, I always feel that he is a man's man and likes the bodybuilding side of things. But he is good at his job.

Anyway, it was good news when the lady who arranged the meeting spoke to my physio clinic and was able to ascertain that they are qualified to refer me and very willing to do so.
I spoke with the physio clinic and they were very positive and keen to see me back into training, they said what I need is for them to re-assess me in light of the spine results, and then refer me.
So that is great, I just have to wait for a few weeks to have the money for the assessment. Ha. I am short of money for the next week again. Each week my income from the freelance writing increases by a few pounds, but it is still low, you may think I am back up and running moneywise, but not quite, I will be soon, the gardening season is emerging, and the writing income will pick up eventually.

On the subject, yesterday's article was accepted by the firm who commissioned it, I was surprised not to be asked to do any amendments. It bodes good for the current article, for the same firm, but slightly shorter and easier, that would have been in today if today hadn't been so complicated.

After the meeting, I came home and wrote. I got on with the article and some of my new blogs.
I was making good progress, 200 off the word count, but I ended up in an argument with my bloody awful insurers, again, their admin and customer services are awful, I don't like rows or being messed about, so I ended up upset, and that impacted on my work.

By the time I had to go out, the assignment wasn't finished, and I have only been back 45 minutes and am too tired to finish it. However, 200 words and final editing is fairly quick and simple, and it will go in tomorrow, and the next one will line up, hopefully. I do have an additional review to finish writing and editing for another site, but that will get done.

Anyway, this evening I went to my friend's studio and met this back care person. It was a lot more than a talk. We were taught extremely demanding routines to help our backs, I am aching like mad, it put especial strain on my shoulder and neck. But it is OK, in the long run if I can be strong enough to stick with it, I am absolutely sure it will help. The woman didn't realise I was multiple injured and was keen to offer me one-to-one sessions to help me when she found out. We were all there for back care but she didn't know the extent of my injuries, I am a right veteran I am.

Afterwards I chatted with my friend and we discussed our next hot chocolate appointment, and then I came home through the freezing cold night, with Max sliding on the salt brine on the roads.

I feel like I have been sleeping in the road and being run over by buses. I am shattered. So it is an early night and a relatively easy day tomorrow. Do you remember when I was homeless and I used to sleep halfway up a lamp post, oh those were the days. Before Polo chased the Bishop of Winchester up the lamp post that I normally slept halfway up.

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