This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Wednesday, 14 February 2018


Good evening peeps,

I am late with my update. Been busy.

Yesterday the person viewing the empty flat kept being delayed until it was too late to start cleaning.

I was very depressed and distressed yesterday, not much better today. So yesterday evening I got fish and chips just to make sure I ate a big meal, it sometimes helps.
Once I had done that, I took the highest safe dose of 5HTP and put myself into a trance, as that is what a high dose kind of does, you have to be careful.
The side effects include headache, tremors, trance and unsteadiness, not as serious as it sounds, but if I do that I can't drive.
But the aim was, to try to force sleep.

It was successful, even with the side effect of vivid dreams, which I have always told you is a side effect, but thankfully I only woke once, and I had been dreaming an almost pleasant dream about somehow ending up with an offer of work with a farm mechanics company.
Nice, but I have a feeling that my days of farm machinery and being one of the lads is over, fun as it was. In that respect, despite my gender confusion, I have always been a girl, never keen on machinery, just using it when necessary. And yes, I have driven a combine harvester, have you?
Ooh-arr, them gurt big traa-ters we used to drive, churning the flints and squashing the 'ares.
Humour me:

Anyway, back from the diversion, I slept pretty much through the night and got up when my alarm went off at 6.30am, still depressed.

I got up and tried to get on with some work, it went wrong and time overran, I had to rush to get to meet my new client. But I got there on time. I was trying to get there to get started before the rain came in, but the rain started as I arrived.

I took an instant liking to my client, a disabled ex-gardener herself, she loves her garden so much but has two conditions, one debilitating and one degenerative, and can do very little a lot of the time.
We chatted away and walked round the garden in the increasing rain, and then chatted some more.
She mentioned that she was struggling to clean the house or find a cleaner, so I offered to temporarily help with that as well while she finds someone, so I have two jobs in one there.
The rain was now heavy and in for the day, so we booked me in for next week.
I have had a tough week of all my scheduled gardening being rained off.

I came home and got on with paperwork for a few hours, all of my content writing had been accepted, and I took another 350 word assignment and completed that and sent it in. Remember, this writing isn't making me rich, it is low pay and a slow start yet, but I am earning something, which is what matters, especially as the gardening season is starting with these heavy rains and high winds. I lost a £10 note today, so I won't be out of the doldrums for a while yet :(

I finally went to get on with cleaning the downstairs flat, and within a few hours had it at a presentable level, it had been a bit messy and mucky.
The rain was still pouring as I finished the flat and headed to the farm to do my farm duties, I hate driving in heavy rain, cross country and at rush hour or in the dark, so I enjoyed all of those things in going to and from farm duties.

The hens presented me with four brown eggs, but the geese and ducks were going quacking mad and the paddock was muddy and flooded, not fun, in the end I had to shut some of the ducks in with the geese and pray they didn't kill them, the geese were deeply offended. I did text the owner and ask if that would be OK, and they said it would. So this has probably happened before.
Then I had the treacherous journey home.

I came home and have been sitting in bed with DVDs and paperwork and things, idling a bit.

Tomorrow is the London run.

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