Tuesday

Good afternoon peeps,

I think the storms were under-estimated this time, it has been really wild.

I had a slightly better sleep, not brilliant, but I woke up and went into flashbacks about the church, one of the reasons it is hard to come out of flashbacks is because the reality of them destroying me remains and affects my whole life. They slandered me publicly, nationally, internationally, locally, so I remain at risk of harm and violence, and they branded me with their complicit police and multi-agencies, so I have nowhere to turn for help and no access to the NHS, the church's abuse of power is such that they could do all of that, and no authority or agency will handle a complaint, all are complicit or afraid of the church's unregulated and limitless power, so it is hard for me to come out of flashbacks because the nightmare remains and isn't over.

Anyway, it has been a difficult day with distress, no sign of justice, resolution or my voice being heard against my condemners.

The weather has been absolutely wild, I could see the waves smashing on the wall from here. I went down there at some point and the foam all over the road and even on the gardens the other side was incredible.
The car park was full of foam and when I parked, the waves sent foam all over the car so it looked like it had been in a car wash, only salt foam is dirty, unlike soap suds. So the car will look awful tomorrow.

Anyway, the weather prevented any work, and so I got poorer, although the content writing work is going promisingly.
I did two 350 word articles yesterday and one was accepted immediately, the previous shorter ones were accepted, and the longer, more complex assignment I did was accepted and got a really good review from the client.

I did a short assignment today, 100 w words, the pay isn't great for a grade 3 at the beginning of her career and I don't get paid yet, but at least I have made a good start, and I will have to build slowly, because I have been a manual worker all my adult life and this is like being a trainee in an office and I am very messed up from the church destroying me, so changing anything, indeed doing anything except sinking into despair and eventual death, is like swimming through treacle. I think the vicious and callous church thought I would die in 2013 as they destroyed me, but I crawled on, broken and suffering, and that is how things remain.

I don't think I will live to see justice as the church have no intention of justice, they used me as a PR stunt, they destroyed me publicly and covered up, unchallenged, protected their image, upheld the wrongdoers, condemned me in every way and on every system, and nothing can put it right.

I was just going to start cleaning the flat downstairs, which we have decided I won't take, when the landlady turned up as she is showing someone round at 5pm, good thing I hadn't started, I hate being interrupted when I start a job.