This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Thursday, 8 December 2011

Last night I went out into the cold night and went to McD's with my last pound as I didn't have enough stickers, then I went to the samaritans, they did me a cup of tea too. The samaritan man was a bit of a puzzle, and he wanted me to talk about the church, but I couldn't adequately explain and I felt a bit silly and useless, he was very nice really, even if he didn't understand, he kindly found me some black bags to rebag my bedding, plastic bags don't last long with rats and the hedge biting holes in them.
I left a bit too early to go to soup kitchen, but soup kitchen was early too, so I was handed a mug of tea as soon as I arrived.

The soup kitchen people were the same kind people as last week, they had ordered pie and chips for all of us, the pie and chips arrived and there was no fighting or scrambling, everyone got a share and it was heavenly. We all got a bottle of coke as well, which is good because I keep forgetting to carry any sort of drink with me and I get thirsty at night.

And that wasn't the end of it, there were chocolates, there was christmas cake, there were presents, there was bedding. I wasn't sure how well my bedding had dried from last night's rain so I took another little duvet and a new fleece blanket. I was given two christmas presents as well and some toiletries.

I put my cake and chocolates in my backpack for tomorrow, and headed for my sleeping place. I am glad I took the spare duvet and blanket, some of my bedding was still a bit too damp, so I left some of it and used the new things. I sprayed my backpack with deodourant as I could hear the rats and I didn't want any raids on the cake and sweets.
It was freezing cold but a clear sky means that I will get at least a few hours sleep before the forecast torrential rain comes in. I settle down warmly and sleep, dreaming of multiple soup kitchens and us homeless people doing the 'down and out' song and dance from Bugsy Malone as we move round the soup kitchens, funny dream, it comes from watching Bugsy Malone at film club recently. 
I wake at 3am and it is still dry but clouding over and warming up a little. I go to the toilet and then sleep again. I wake up in the early morning and rebag my bedding in new bags. It is just started to rain, I am thankful that it stayed dry all night. There is still a bitter cold wind.
I am pretty much out of money but I realise that my remaining silver and copper coins will get me a cuppa at the market if they will accept the small coins. They do accept the coins and I spend tea hour deep in conversation with my pals, talking about the council, social services, child murderers and anything anyone needs to let off steam about, this place is better than any therapy :) the tea stall people give me another cup of tea free, and I eat my Christmas cake for breakfast, I think it has fruit and sugar in and it is solid, it is as good as any breakfast cereal.

I finally go and have a quick wash before library time.

I feel anxious and unsettled and bad inside, telling myself off, I am really upset by the people the other day.

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