This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Thursday, 8 March 2018


Good morning peeps,

Well. Some days don't work. Today isn't working.
I have been working, but bah.

Yesterday I went to work and plodded along on that heavy clay, getting covered in muck. I was tending the new orchard and weeding the veg patch, it was too wet and muddy really but it keeps that lady happy.

After work I got a jacket potato and sat up at the viewpoint and ate it.
There were eight ships on the Great Ship Bay.
I wonder where it got it's name?
I named it in 2014, didn't I?

The church are kicking off in their weekly drivel rag again, you know when they are kicking off because Guernsey lands on the other blog and leeches off my suffering. Usually a few others blindly land on my blog as well.

I was tired and went to bed early last night, I don't remember much about my dreams.
I woke sleepily this morning and struggled to boot myself out of bed and into life.
So I didn't get much work done before work.

It was a clear and windy day, quite nice. Would be if I felt better.

But a very annoying day at work.

As you know, the gardening season is waking, and I took on a load of gardens. I can quickly tell if I like customers or can work well for them or not.
I like the people I have worked for this week except the one today.
She isn't very thoughtful. This is a big house and garden, the kind I avoid taking on, oops.

She had arranged to pay me cash, which helps while I am still hand to mouth, most customers pay on the day, cash, paypal or bank transfer. But she had opted for cash when I started.
Today she decided she would pay me by bank transfer, no warning, so I didn't have bank details with me.
So she said she had to go out and I could text her the bank details.

I got on with the work. I work as hard whether customers are there or away, and no-one has any complaints.

When I got home, I texted her the bank details, the reply was from her 'partner' eugh, that this was his phone. She had only ever contacted me on his phone, so I didn't have her number. He gave me her number.  She said she was on her way home and would pay me when she got home.
She didn't.
She didn't pay me until 7pm.
I needed to put the rent through and get food.

She sent a load of stupid texts about how she should be able to leave the gardener alone to work and not worry about it. I explained to her that I should not have to worry about a customer not bothering to give me their correct phone number, not bothering to warn me about a change of payment method, and not paying me.
I really didn't want this job any more. I know I need the money, but my life is miserable enough without working for people who are really selfish.

And I hate seeing older women with property who have a 'partner'. It kind of icky.
I didn't like working there. You may not understand it, and the church will put it down to madness, but if you work for people who don't really care, there is no point. I love my work, even though I am struggling worse and worse physically with keeping the gardening business going. I don't like big house owners who can't treat gardeners as human.

The spine clinic, when they heard that the physio clinic are going to be doing lazer therapy, said that it is not the same lazer therapy as they need to do, but it will ease my pain.
It is funny for someone else to say I am in pain, after years of me denying it because the NHS denied it. Yes, I am struggling. So much that this may be my last gardening season, and I can't bear to think about that.
I worked hard today and came home feeling ill with pain. I had another annoying episode today. I went to look at another garden and the traffic was mad with roadworks, I couldn't find the house, and the traffic wouldn't let me.
We have roadworks, burst pipes, accidents and fires, all over the place, we are in chaos in this district.

Anyway, back home it was more of the same.
I am still building up my writing business and I was waiting for application results from one firm, they sent me an email saying they had my writing sample but not my grammar test, which I had definitely done. So I retook it, a 15 minute online exam, but that was eating into my other writing time, and I have an assignment, a review, and a letter to do.
I passed the grammar.
Then I received an email rejecting me from my application. What?
Then I received another email saying the rejection was in error and would I please retake the grammar and writing sample as the system had deleted me.
I am sure you can imagine my reaction.
I am not proceeding with them. I told them so.

What a day.
I hadn't eaten by 7.30, and I needed to eat, so I got fish and chips, cheer me up, big meal, nothing has worked today, so I will go to bed early and hope for a better day tomorrow.

These bites from Tuesday's garden are huge and raw, I wonder what they had in that stagnant water, vampire mosquitos?

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