Monday

Stunned.


Absolutely stunned.

I had just been to a very helpful coffee and chat with my friends, with the aim of breaking the cycle of trauma and flashbacks, as they are very learned on the subject as well as being close and trusted friends, who have read my story.
I came home, my inbox was stuffed to bursting with emails, and I was working through them.

I had been trying to arrange the physio appointment for my referral, and apparently they intended to start the lazer treatment then as well, but there had been problems arranging my appointment due mainly to the changes in everyone's schedules since my physio was taken ill.

There was an email from the physio clinic.

I am stunned.

The email read 'I know you got on very well with *****(my physio) so I am sorry to tell you that he sadly passed away last week...'

No!

He must have died during the bad weather. It isn't in the local announcements yet.

I am stunned. I know he was only my physio but he wasn't old and he was extremely fit and healthy, I was always as usual embarassed by my fat when I went to physio, but he was all trim and lean, like physios and medical peeps usually are. I am not saying that because I found him attractive, but because I was always self conscious. He treated me with utmost respect, which after the NHS, was quite remarkable to experience.

He was a black-haired, cheerful man, a bit older than me, and lively and upbeat, very skilled indeed and I was never afraid of him or bothered by physical contact, he and I would chat away as he tortured me.
I knew he was in hospital, I had no idea he was gravely ill, and I didn't expect his death, so I am stunned. It is very rare for me to bond, feel safe with and even look forward to seeing, a medical professional, but he was a great physio, and it is thanks to him that I know the extent of my spinal injuries. He restored some of my self-esteem.
I hope his family are alright, I know he was married because he asked me about my use of the online doctor service for medical appointments as he had told his wife about it and she was tired of waiting a long time to see an NHS doctor. Round here it takes about 2 weeks to get to see an NHS doctor, which is really bad. I think his wife was interested to try the online doctor service, especially when she heard how low the price is for the quality of service.

OK, it is sinking in as I write, my lovely physiotherapist has died. I am glad I praised his work while he was alive.
His colleagues have been due to take over and do lazer work on my spine and complete the referral, as well as having a look at my ankle and knee as they are becoming an issue again, so I will be seeing them within the next week.

Anyway.

Last night I handed in the review I was doing.
I slept through the night peacefully and dreamed very happy dreams about church and my friends, I woke and overrode any flashbacks before they started.

I had a letter to write first thing, to the paper, about a news story, shut up church of england, this is nothing to do with you. Really, it isn't, you silly sods.

Anyway, I put the computer on, to the news that yesterday's review was accepted overnight and I was being asked by the author to also do a brief review on Amazon, which I did, Amazon reviews are short, a few lines. I wrote my letter afterwards.

Then I showered and dressed and went to do some work.

I took some herbs given to me by the community garden, and made up a planter for the care home. I mooched around at the care home, odds and ends and the planter.

I came home for lunch, chikkin soop and bread.
I was online as I ate, and a load of small articles came up for grabs, 50-100 words each. I have done a number of these before, and they do well.
I grabbed one, wrote it quickly and submitted it, in the hope of grabbing another before they all went, but they had all gone.
Still anything that tops up my earnings is cool.

It was raining now, and my friends were expecting me for the afternoon.

I headed over there, and we talked and talked, and drank hot chocolate and coffee, and talked some more. They are very good. I am blessed.

Eventually I came home, to the stunning news.

I will write from my bed office for the evening, I think, with Frank Drebin amusing me on the DVD.

I have busy week, but with the rain happily threatening to derail it all.

I do not know why, but I have been absentmindedly panic buying milk, never done this before, four bottles in the fridge and two in the freezer!