This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Friday, 26 January 2018


Good morning you peeps,

I am being pedantic, so I am writing this post in order and you have to read it in order.

On Wednesday it rained and I was miserable and gloomy. I went to work and read my book, it was quiet at work and I finished early.
I was worried about working and being tired and having everything ready and getting up in the morning.

In the morning I woke with the first alarm, 4am, I was tired and grumpy and glad to leave the philosophical discussion I had been dragged into in my dreams.

I washed, dressed, ate, grabbed my packed lunch, and headed off.

Was lucky to park Max in the same place.

It was a milder morning this time, I walked to the terminal in good time to start my journey.

I grabbed a tea when I got to the coach terminal some time later, it was still dark and I sat and read greedily of my book, 'Winter Solstice', which I had started on Monday. I love that book, it's like Duma Key, it is about building a new life out of disaster, which is what I did, or tried to, the best efforts of the church kind of destroyed everything again.

Anyway, I was well looked after by assisted travel and had a comfortable journey with my headphones in and music on, it was dark when the coach set off, but already getting lighter than the same time the previous week.
I got to see another lovely sunrise into the pale winter sky, two in a week, awesome, beautiful.

We arrived in London and I had a McDonalds card so I sat in Mc Donalds and read my book and had tea and tried not to panic.

Then I went to the clinic.

I wasn't kept waiting, they are very good. Within minutes I was in the consulting room.

And it turned out to be a topsy turvy result.

My neck isn't broken, no, indeed, it can be treated, it is badly messed up and severely out of place, but it can be treated, and if it is treated soon, degeneration can be prevented. Think of the years of pain while the NHS called me psychosomatic. Idiots. Good thing I think for myself.
I was surprised he seemed keen to move on to the lower back x-rays.

Because my lower back is broken.

Yes, there was an ominous black gap in the x-rays where the bones fractured, and because it wasn't treated at the time, it didn't mend, and it is too late for the bones to knit now.
I don't blame them, knitting is hard work, lots of church ladies have made me do knitting.

I am lucky the bones haven't slipped and caught the spinal cord, which is intact, as you have probably guessed. The bones can and could slip and start pinching the spinal cord, as it is, they are stable but the fracture has pushed the spine over out of place quite badly, not as bad as the neck is out of alignment but, bad. It explains the stiffness and stagger when I have been sitting, the idiot NHS tried to tell me nothing was wrong.

Anyway, thankfully it will not stop my work, they said I should be careful with lifting and bending, and with regards exercise I should avoid situps, crunches, squats and pushups. I don't mind that at all :)

The treatment they can offer is shockwave and lazer treatment on the neck and lower back, to encourage the spine back into place and encourage what healing it can do. The bones can't mend, but treatment will help put the spine in place.
My neck is severely out of alingment and that is putting stress on the facet joints at the moment, hence the pain.
Long term, both sites can cause degeneration of discs as well as continuing to irritate nerves, muscles and bones, as they do. So treatment would be good before any deterioration sets in.

The only problem is, the cost.

The other thing is, they focussed on the neck and lower back as those are the main problems. I am interested to know if they can look at other areas now.

But at least now I know, and now I can be careful so that the fractured bones don't slide.

Anyway. I came home, well looked after by assisted travel. Lovely peaceful journey, headphones and book.

I got home in the evening, expecting to be tired and go to bed, but I was lively enough to finish my book, cook a meal and watch some television. Books should be bigger, Winter Solstice was 700 pages and it only lasted 4 days.

I did go to bed early, about 9.30, and slept soundly, waking without any real pain this morning - I wore my neck collar for all travel.
I am kind of tired, but lively, I am working on the farm this morning, it is a cold and frosty bright day out there.
I have an evening shift as well.


  1. I am sorry you have back/neck truble but pleased you can get treatment before it gets worse. Take care of yourself.

  2. Hi Emma, the broken spine is up to 20 years old, I live with it but the NHS failed to diagnose it, the neck trouble, more severe in pain, has also been around for a long time, before Jersey. But I have been managing them for a long time. The NHS failed to act and said my pain was psychosomatic, the NHS have been awful because of course the church use of police and stupid 'multi-agency' slander of me means the NHS treat me badly.
    There is effective treatment for my neck, and treatment that will help my lower spine but of course the broken bones won't knit now.
    Thankfully diagnosis has now been made before degeneration set in on either injury, and treatment would be effective, but I don't have the money for my treatment at the moment, I am living hand to mouth in extreme poverty. In the summer I may be able to budget for treatment.


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