Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Tuesday Morning

Good morning,

Please excuse the lack of posts, I know a few people have emailed or been coming back and going ?

I am sitting in bed eating gingerbread biscuits and drinking hot sweet tea, all decadent, while outside the wind is howling, and a glaring yellow sunrise has lit the sky under the heavy rainclouds.
I woke from nightmares, first of the diocese of winchester and their violations of me, and secondly a very sad and vivid dream that my old friend Gerard had left a suicide note and I was frantically looking for him.

Sadly recently I have been having a lot of death premonitions, and I have to take them seriously because I do prophesy, not in the horrible vain way that the Jersey cult churches use the word, but I have dreams that fortell things, for example, in Jersey I had a dream about prison, in 2009, and I also dreamed Micheal Scott-Joynt had a stroke, and I did tell him to get his blood pressure checked, but I can't find the email, and I knew before it was announced that he was dead.

I do not know who's death is upsetting me at the moment, it could be any one of the whole community at Winchester that the Diocese drove me from, or any of my homeless friends or even someone in Jersey, but I think seeing as I dreamed of Gerard, it is either a homeless person or possibly unrelatedly and old friend from the Winchester area, who's memory is suddenly vivid.
Enough with the wierdness.

I will try to catch up the last few days now.
Saturday night was Thunderstorms, really heavy, and I tidied the flat and cleaned and put the washing on, and out when the rain stopped and the night was forecast dry.

I slept and had violent nightmares about the diocese and death, someone hanged themselves.

I woke on Sunday morning, nice and early, checked the washing, and decided to get a gym and swim in before church, not my usual way of doing things but wanting to make the most of the swimming pool because it closes for a week of building work now, and may as well get a gym session in.

So I had a gym and swim, enjoyed it, watched horrid Henry on the personal tvs on the treadmill and cycle and cross trainer machines, sometimes I miss tv, mainly when things like Horrid Henry are on because I like him, can't think why!

Anyway, I was dismayed to realise that I had left my sponsor forms at home as I was going to shower and go straight to church from the leisure centre, so I showered, shot home, got the forms and hurried to church, I was at my little church and was expected with sponsor forms.

Sponsor forms?
Ah, the thing I haven't been telling you, those who have read my blog since early days will know what I am doing. Again.
The Great Walk! :):):)
And no, if you are in Jersey you can't sponsor me because I can't risk giving you any details.

Anyway, we had a lovely Rememberance Service, and my friend who doesn't come to church normally and lives down in town was there, I was surprised and pleased to see her.
I didn't go to the War Memorial service, we had our service in church, I was encouraged to be there, and the walk was announced, and after the service, every single one of my people signed the form, the form was full and overflowing, and half the planned amount was raised.
And everyone was 100%  backing me.
I am supposed to be writing for the church magazing this month but they also asked me to provide a walk journal and photographs when I do the walk so it can go in the January issue of the magazine.

So, after church, I biked cheerfully along the cliffs and home, and put my dinner on, and got the washing in before the heavy rain re-started.

Dinner was simple compared to the usual sunday roast, but tasty, carrots, chops and potatoes, which is a nice meal.
Then I broke another Sunday rule and shot up to Tesco for something I needed.

In the Afternoon there was another service at one of the other churches, but this wasn't as much fun for me as the morning one, the walk was supposed to be announced, but unfortunately I had an allergic reaction to someone's perfume and had an asthma attack.
Thankfully I survived and didn't need hospital, but sometimes a sudden attack can take time to recover from, and this did.
So once home, I was feeling ropey and the thunderstorms started again with enthusiasm, right overhead.

I actually hoovered the flat for some reason but didn't do much else but sit there.

Now normally my neighbours are nice, as I have probably mentioned. I don't take a lot of notice of cranky times which are normal in all our lives, and I mentioned my neighbour next door is occasionally drunk or loud especially as she lost her job at the same time as we were told we were losing our homes.

But there is a guy who has alcohol/mental health problems, and occasionally he leaves nasty spiteful notes, especially for the females, he doesn't usually do it to men.
Sunday night I was weak and wrecked and I opened my door to find a spiteful note for me on the mat, it included this guy accusing me of staring, now I am taking into account he is losing his home and can't cope with it, but this was the limit, mental health problems or not.

I wrote him a reply telling him his behaviour was not appropriate and that his targetting of women was inappropriate and that I have been collecting evidence of his behaviour and would report him if it didn't stop.

I photocopied his note and my letter and posted him, and the neighbours and the landlady copies.
And I left copies in the hall.
The landlady says she is furious with his nasty note, but reality is that he has been abusive to her for years and she treads on eggshells rather than confront him.
He had not responded, although I did hear muffled raging and yelling yesterday morning.

But anyway, as a result of that upset, I was up all night Sunday night through to Monday morning, which was pants as Monday afternoon through to evening is my busiest time and I was due to be in London today.
I have cancelled today and cancelled most of Monday's activities.

But the all-nighter had it's advantages, I cooked a slow stew, very tasty, and I got a lot of paperwork and filing done. And several times I walked down to the sea.
At 2am I walked down in a massive thunderstorm, the waves were roaring and lightning lit the sea frequently and the waves crashed over, the road and bay were completely empty, rain and wind washed. I stood there and enjoyed the storm.

I worked quietly through the night, went for another walk at 6am and got caught in a squall at the end of the bay, so I sheltered, when it went over I walked home in the sulky sunrise with the storms rolling over the hill, got some milk and got on with revising. I have an assessment on Thursday.

I was so tired I wanted to sleep, but I had to go and collect something off someone and it was vital.
So I set off, I was going to catch a bus into the next town and another bus up to the place I needed to go and collect from. But as I got to the bus station kiosk, the man I had to collect something off was having a cuppa at the kiosk too, so I didn't have to trek any futher to meet him, and I got my cuppa, got the bus as the heavy rain started again, and was home again by the time I was due to meet him.

I had been up all night, so I simply climbed into bed and slept.
I slept blankly obliviously, dreamlessly, until I woke suddenly to a dark silent house, and thought I had slept all day and well into the night, but it was evening and the house was quiet and of course it gets dark early now so it was dark.

It was rainy and windy and I got up, had a sugar-free cuppa and went straight out, I am looking after my friend's house while he is away, and the bin must go out on Monday night as the bin men come very early on Tuesday. So I hurried over there, went through everything, put the correct bins out, and came home via the supermarket.

I have my adoptive mum coming for the day tomorrow and I want the house full of food and flowers so she thinks I am looking after myself, harhar.

So I did a shop, and went back to the bus stop, it was now late evening, I had decided to get a cheap football while I was shopping, this'll make you laugh, I just missed the bus and was sitting there in a cold dark, windy bus shelter, with my shopping in bags as I forgot to take my backpack, but the football was in one bag, and footballs don't fit well with shopping, so it kept escaping, and I kept trying to put it back, the wind was howling, and the wind finally decided to take my football and flowers.
I rescued the flowers, but me running accross miles of car park leaving the shopping unattended for the sake of a football got a bit silly, so I wonder if security thought I was playing football on their car park but I couldn't get it back and leave my shopping.

Anyway, I returned to the cold bus stop and texted my adoptives and asked what Mum would like to do on Wednesday and told them about my football.

Eventually a bus arrived, and I got home, put the shopping away and fell into bed, to sleep another 8 or 9 hours.
I must be full recharged now, two long deep sleeps so close together.

I woke this morning feeling very refreshed, despite the terrible dreams. I hope Gerard is ok.

I am still sitting in my warm comfy bed as the wind howls through the open window and the rain comes in, the weather for this week is due wet and windy and in a way I am glad I am not doing a London trip with it like this, I would rather be lazy. I have become domesticated, would you believe it?
Anyway, today, as a result of cancelling, is a quiet day, coffee morning, gym, no swim due to the building work at the pool.
And it isn't cycling weather, in the galeforce winds.
I will go and admire the sea, which I can hear roaring from here.
But this bed is comfy and there is loads of tea.









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