Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Friday, 20 January 2012

Hello bloggypeople. I will write as much as I can in the time I have.
I left the library and followed directions to a backpacker hostel, walking through the 'Irish Quarter' that I knew and loved when I was a teenager. I used to roam these grim streets but I have very little memory of them now, only sense of direction.
The dubliner pub is still there.

I find the hostel and it is not the clean and neat YMCA type place that I am used to finding, it looks more like a falling down haunted house, the inside is welcoming and higgldey-piggledy, they check me in and mutter something about three girls in the six bed dorm, they tell me there is free tea and coffee and free soup between 8 and 9 and free breakfast in the morning, all this for £14, and a £1 returnable deposit for a locker.

So I go to the dorm, no one is there, so I decide to wait for the others to choose their beds, I put my things in a locker and go to meet my sister in a pub a few streets away, she is playing pool with her friends there, this is sister K.

I watch them play pool and my sister keeps winning, she is on a pool team, so is her boyfriend, he is there too, he is having a heart bypass soon, she is scared about it, but he is far older than her and has always smoked and drank heavily.
It was nice to see them and they gave me a lift back to the hostel as I found it hard to even walk that short distance.
I had some soup at the hostel but it wasn't solid enough to be supper and there wasn't enough bread, so I walked to subway and got one of their cheap and filling snacks.
Then I went back to get my bag from the locker and have a shower. The shower surprised me, it wasn't typical hostel no privacy or space, the showers had proper doors and mats and plenty of space and the shower worked well as well.

I did my meds and washed and sorted out, anxious to be hygenic and not be problematic to anyone in the dorm, hoping they would be nice and that I would fit in.
I took my backpack  back to the locker for the night and kept just a small bag of essentials with me for the dorm, inhaler, tissues, lozenges, phone and charger. That way everything is safe.


I got to the dorm and no-one was there, so I wondered if they were staying up late in the lounge, no beds appeared chosen, so I picked one by the window and opened the window and turned the heating down. I tucked in, hard mattress is ok, and soft hot duvet, I fell asleep, no-one came in to wake me, until 5am in the morning when someone staggered in and crashed out on a bed. I got up and went to the loo, closed the window and turned the heat up a bit, Then I started having flashbacks and dozed and drifted and dreamed, dreamed of my family.

I dozed in and out, judging the time by how light it was outside.  I got up at 8am and went to have breakfast, four slices of peanut butter toast and three cups of tea. I will have some fruit in a mo, and then I will have a shower, check out isn't till 11am which is good. I will see my brother and niece today and maybe I will go to the grim ghettos to see our old homes.

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