Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Friday, 6 January 2012

failure and memories of childhood

On facebook brother M put a status saying he was a failure, I replied that he was the success of the family and he wasn't anything like the failure that I was.
But then brother J and sister K and brother M's girlfriend and SDB were all saying that they felt like failures as well. Despite all the fighting, the siblings all have low self esteem, maybe excluding Brother I because he is a bit psychopathic.

I remember being three years old and moving house, we were in a big minibus and I didn't know what was happening. Later my dad said we had to move because the neighbours had cursed mum and she had pleurisy and would have died if we hadn't moved house. I don't know the truth of that.

I remember being four years old and feeling low, useless, even though I was only four.
I remember my older sisters being unkind to me and making out I had been moving the tea mugs and drinking other people's tea, they did things like that all the time, I guess they weren't happy either.

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