Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Friday, 21 December 2012

morning peeps,

 Not feeling too good here. I understand how depression is an illness when it gets like this, it really shuts you down. I am still having bad flashbacks which cause despair and which are linked to the depression.

Last night I went to my friends house and slept in the conservatory, I sometimes need company when I am like this, and being alone and trying to sleep in my porch with the hooligans making a nuisance of themselves nearby is hell, but I am sure that the depression and flashbacks are being triggered by the amount of time I am spending indoors, and it only gets worse, not better, a vicious circle.

My friend dropped me of in town and I have been at the 'cafe at the centre of the world' where the whole world either meets and chats or walks past.

The depression is very bad, it refuses to be sat on, and though I still get up in the morning and go through the motions, it is hard to do things like washing and eating.

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