Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Hi peeps,
Here is a very tired me.

On Friday night in the cold cold I went to catch a train.
I got the train and had a peaceful journey listening to the radio, and my friend was there to collect me.
we went to her house, her husband was away dog sitting.
So we had a cheese sandwich and a cuppa, I actually remembered to bring my own tea bags because they only have decaffinated and that can cause me a caffeine withdrawal problem.

we watched television and talked, and eventually it was late when we retired for the night.
I was worried that I would suffer pain and sickness for sleeping in a bed, as I often do, but I was out like a light and woke in the morning in no pain. My friend woke up but somehow I wandered back to bed and dozed, knowing I should really be up, eventually my friend knocked on the door and said we had half an hour.
But we set off in good time, it was very cold with thick frost everywhere.

We got to Chertsey and then to London, and I wasn't sick at all.
Once we got to London we had cups of tea, and then mass and then a lovely lunch of chicken soup and bread and little buffet foods and plenty of tea.
Then I went to work in the garden and fought the chauvenists off when they tried to interfere in my work, I did remember my hernia as I tried to weed the edges of the yard though but I got a lot done
There were too many noisy children and it made it all the more stressful.

During the talk, my friend and I made the advent wreath and put the candles in, and then we had Holy Hour and Evening prayer, then it was supper time, supper was stew and bread and salad and a choice of drinks, then there were cakes and chocolates.
I went with my friend to take an old lady home, but she left her walking stick in the car, my friend had to go and talk to the Priest because she was worried about something, and I was worried too when I found out what, not to do with me, but confidential.

anyway, we set off back, and dropped the old lady's stick off on the way.
we got to chertsey in good time, stopped to use the loo, and continued, we went back to my friend's house for a quick cuppa and then she dropped me off to catch the drunk train.
It was bitterly cold, well below freezing.

The train was crowded but I found a seat and wasn't disturbed, but I had to change trains halfway. There was a problem on the line and I ended up waiting for half an hour between 00:20am and 00:50am for the train while other people who were drunk illegally smoked or peed on the platform, there were no announcements about the delayed train, though they kept announcing a late train that terminated at that station, which is stupid, so people kept pressing the radio to ask the people where the train was and kept being told it was running late.

Eventually the train arrived and we thankfully scrambled out of the bitter cold and onto the train, the last thing I needed was to stand in the chill like that.
I went to the loo and put my thermal top on, and eventually we got to the station and I got a hot cuppa from my pal at the burger van.
Then I wandered up away from the drunks and into the cold dark silence and into my sleeping place, I tucked into my blankets and slept lightly, I wasn't cold once I was tucked in but I was very awake and alert, travelling on a busy train in the middle of the night makes me think it is day time.

I woke at 7am and stashed and had a pee, then I wandered into McD's and had a cuppa and bagel and then hurried to 8am communion, it was a good service today.
After that I had a cuppa and said hello to people and we all talked about the cold and the frost and things.

Then I went to my other church and survived morning worship and tea and coffee and comments about my article in the magazine.

Then I was at a loose end, thankfully there was a fair in town so my burger van that does cheap cuppas was about, which it isn't usually on a Sunday, so I had some cups of tea and tucked myself up in some bedding in a corner to read a book.
Eventually I had finished my book and it was now dark, so I started walking, it was cold but it grew warmer and started to rain, it is still raining and I came here to the pub when I was tired and aching from walkinng, it is three hours before I can bed down in peace and I am tired.
I am also out of money, I spent my last money on a cup of tea which I can't make last forever.

The flashbacks and distresses and bad memories have been really bad. And it doesn't help to be alone and at a loose end.

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