Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Long ago a couple were homeless
while everyone else had a place to be

Out in the cold in a basic shelter
while others celebrated reunion

there in the cold unwanted 
the most important thing in the world occured

in the inn was the joy of reunion
while out there was born the hope of reconciliation

Christmas started with homelessness and shame
and here I am, out in the cold

while everyone is looking forward to reunions
indoors in the inn, I am out in the stable

I am happy out in the stable with the Holy Family
what more do I need?

Do I need the feasting and the noise and laughter?
Do I need the 'place to be'?

Well, it would be nice, but more importantly
I need to be out here with the Saviour who died for me

At this time of year people avoid me,
because they think I want an invite home

They don't realise that I expect nothing
I am ok out here, I am not alone

At this time of year people maddeningly
try to send me to 'the pity lunch' on Christmas day

They don't realise that lunch with the other unwanted people
and then back out in the dark is not Christmas

It is just an affirmation that I am unloved
So I will stay out here peacefully with the Holy Family

In all their Christmas plans they forget the meaning
and so Jesus and I will stay out here in the cold

It is not so much the being unwanted
but more the way they think I expect to be wanted

It is more the way they avoid me
and try to send me to the pity lunch

as if that would ever in any way make up for being loved and belonging
in there in the Inn instead of out here in the dark

Hey, they say Jesus loves me
but His love doesn't show in the way the church destroyed me

Just as the pharisees tried to destroy Jesus and failed
Jesus knows what it is like to be homeless and poor

Jesus knows what it is like to be spat on and face contempt and trial
So Jesus, please stay out here with me in my anguish,
we can share a stable eh, and you can have my best sleeping bag

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