This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Wednesday, 30 May 2018


Good evening peeps,

I forgot that yesterday existed. It undoubtedly did.
Yesterday morning I woke at 5.45 from bad nightmares and went into flashbacks in stead.
It was pouring with rain and my landlord was up so the kettle was hot. I nipped to the cashpoint and got the rent, and got some milk from the shop, and then wondered what would happen with the weather, I want to get my gardens done before I go.

The weathered cleared and I went to the care home and did a massive weed and tidy up, but I want to get back on Saturday and tend my plants there and cut the hedge if I can, so it stays in order while I am away.

The care home was all I got done in the unpredictable weather, and I came home. I fell asleep when I got home, no idea why, work hadn't been taxing and I had slept through the night.

I woke only just in time to go to my evening shift. Well while Monday night's shift had been busy, yesterday evening was relatively quiet.

I came home and was tired enough to sleep. No memorable dreams, but I woke in the morning in a lot of pain and feeling very tired, painful and depressed, with smatterings of flashbacks. It was hard to move, my spine didn't want to be dragged off the bed.
I did painkillers and nearly threw up, not good on an empty stomach, not clever, but they worked fast, I did the heavy machine and put my collar on, and in a few hours I was almost alright.

I really needed to work while the rain held off, but I struggled to get sorted and have any time to work before my dental appointment. So I worked on music reviews and put in for a payout.

My dental appointment was with the hygenist for a thorough teeth clean and some tips on teeth care. The appointment was half and hour and it was good, I have never seen a hygenist before, the dentist has sometimes cleaned my teeth, but it was nice to have a thorough teeth clean and discussion, see no-one actually ever taught me to brush my teeth, and my jaw means my teeth are crowded, so it is hard to clean some of them well. Anyway, the hygenist was really nice, and she asked if I had antibiotics as a child, because of the bars on my teeth, and I told her no, they were from illness, she said she understood that, it is a stress reaction, the teeth stop growing at that point. It is funny to hear it from a hygenist, because it was always something I knew only vaguely.

Anyway, nice clean teeth, but there was a problem, when I got home, I realised that the cleaning had knocked a filling out! A front filling, you know hot they can do a shallow filling with white paste? One of those, it must have been loosened by the water jet or brush or knocked by the metal bits. I have emailed them. I would like it fixed before I go.

Anyway, after that, I tried to go and work but I was tired, distracted, not feeling great, dental appointments upset my poor jaw, and so I went to the mail handling centre but nothing I was expecting had arrived.

I came home and started a deep clean and tidy of my room, a thorough sort out of paperwork and other things, and packing for Wales. I also hoovered and dusted and wiped. All sorted.

I am supposed to be mowing the farm tomorrow but the weather looks bad, I am running out of days to get my remaining work done before I go.

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