This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Tuesday evening

Good evening peeps,

Well I was so ill and tired and dreading going to the hospital.
When I got there I was worried about parking and having change for the parking meter.
Thankfully there was a parking space, half flooded but at least it was there, and when I went to get a ticket, a couple who were leaving gave me their ticket, which had a few hours on, and that turned out to be a lifesaver.

I went in the hospital and got as panicky as usual, often I go into a hospital and start chatting to myself because I am so scared. I did this time.
I always check out where the chapel and vending machine and toilets are. A bit like when I was homeless.

Anyway, I got to where I needed to go, squeaked my details nervously to them and sat and waited. My appointment was half an hour late and I got so nervous I nearly left.

I am glad I didn't, they were great.
They did an examination, very thorough, explained a lot to me, talked me through a lot of things, and emphasised that I need to work with my therapist to really bring my stress levels down urgently as the stress caused by the church onslaught is really costing me my health.

The end result is that I have to go back for a splint and biopsy. The biopsy is the surprise part, I expected x-rays, not a biopsy.
I am only young but I have already had a biopsy in the past and they are nasty and painful and sore.
So I do not look forward to it. But it is obviously not urgent as I will be on the waiting list until at least next months. And it isn't anything to worry about.

But because my appointment had been in the afternoon and also half an hour late, I left the hospital straight into rush hour with roadworks and floods and diversions. Haha, neither me nor Florence felt like being in rush hour at all, and normally I avoid the town in the afternoon in order to avoid it.
However, we survived, came home, forgot to stop for food on the way, but it didn't matter.

My local supermarket stocks a lovely quorn and vegeterian range, and although I have been trying for a long time to stick to freshly prepared foods, I have needed a break from fish, and I am worried that it is fish or almond milk or something in my new diet that has been making me ill, but it may be the ramipril, but nonetheless I have enjoyed a break from fish in eating quorn sausages and burgers, and feeling very happy indeed to be able to eat meat again when it isn't meat and is very healthy and low fat. I have also got skimmed milk for the moment to see what a break from Almond Milk does.
Actually the good quorn range at my local supermarket is generally cheaper than fish.
And the variety is good: quorn chicken and burgers and sausages, quorn fish and quorn gammon, even quorn bacon. There is also non-quorn nut burgers and Linda McCartney stuff, which is tasty. I feel happy about that, I have felt so limited in what I can buy these days as eggs tend to upset my tummy and I can't just have fish and rice or beans on toast all the time.
I am allowed potatos any time but I only eat them roast or baked and that takes time. As a child I was fed soggy boiled potatos pretty much every day and I hate boiled potatos.

Did I tell you I went to my diet and fitness club last night? I dragged myself there feeling awful but I had only put on a few pounds over Christmas and I will quickly lose that!
They gave me a new healthy recipe book as a New Year's present!
So here I am, having had meat free burgers and lots of zero coke.

I have watched Hollyoaks and the preview, it is a bit grim, so time to return to 'Are you being served'. I think I am on season 7 now. But my all time favourite moment is the sandpaper one with Mr Humphries and Captain Peacock. My neighbours must wonder what is going on in my flat when I fall about howling with laughter.

I haven't been able to rest much despite being ill, so I will try and early night.
I have been given a comprehensive patient advice leaflet that describes a lot of things like getting my muscles to relax with a hot water bottle, so I will try. My muscles feel as if they will never relax again.
I have to write in my day book that apart from the papers, I am on sick leave at the moment.

Florence is sulking because I got her bonnet up earlier and ran through everything with her best friend on the phone. He is coming over on Saturday to tell her off.

Early night with 'Are you being served' as a bed time story. I hope I can sleep at some point. I am so tired.

Anyone remember me rewriting this one?

I've been down to Satandrews... 

I didn't rewrite the words spoken at the beginning as they ring true.
Fisher never could change reality no matter how much she destroyed me for my abusers. 

No comments:

Post a Comment