This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Tuesday evening

Good evening,

Well, I am tired and miserable.

This morning I actually woke up ok, and I had done a packed lunch, so I set off for an interview to do volunteer gardening at one of the district's local attractions, which is quite a nice estate.
I got there well in time, and had a nice chat and a walk round, and I start next week, subject to boots and paperwork. The paperwork will only be wrong because of the diocese of winchester if it is.

Rather than go home and come out again, I got the bus and went to the shop. The boss looked at his watch and I said I was only two hours early and the other boss said I can do extra when I want! But the boss was only joking when he looked at his watch and he laughed and said 'Most people come in and say they are only two hours late!' And a customer laughed too.

so that was a good start, and I did some sponsored pedalling, did a load of clothes steaming and various other things, and in the end I did nearly a whole working day at the shop as well as getting through the interview first thing.

The only trouble is, I am having a bad flashback patch, as you  will have noticed from recent blogs, and it throws rationality out the window and I suffer severe distress and what would be clinical depression if I felt this way full time, but as far as I know, I no longer suffer full time depression, which, all things considered, is really odd.
But the flashbacks destabilize me, and they are not just during waking hours, they come as nightmares that wake into flashbacks, which I can assure you is deeply scary and horrible, the psychologist was quite concerned when I used to tell him about these episodes.

I came home just wanting to go to bed, I have made myself eat and bathe, although I didn't really feel like either, or getting out of the bath after bathing.
I will now go to bed and hope that I feel slightly more calm in the morning.


  1. I hope so too - I'm glad the interview went well.

  2. Thanks Emma, it will be good to go back to my gardening if I can get through the paperwork, it is just a pity that I cannot get paid work or even live my life as I continue to be destroyed by the Church.