Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Hi peeps,
I am very very tired. The lady yesterday was right when she said I probably felt ok then but if we continued I would be exhausted, I am very tired.

I had trouble persuading myself to go to bed last night, it was like arguing with a naughty child.
All the excuses, one more cuppa, one more trip to the loo.
I was hot and tense but I slept.

I woke feeling very tired and I lazed about on the bed, drinking tea and talking to my mediator on skype messenger.
Then I had a shower, and eventually came out, climbed the hill.
I got to the market, I went to the stall and they recognized me
'Tea with two? where have you been? are you still...homeless?'
Yes.

The tea was strong, dangerously so, which is how it is meant to be here.
Then someone reminded me of something, milky coffee.
There is nowhere else in the world that does mugs of milky coffee like this.
So I had a milky coffee and thick slices of toast, slathered with peanut butter, ah, I am back in heaven, peeps, I have missed all this so much.

There are so many people here who I recognize, but everyone looks older.
I do not seem to have got older.

I feel sad about the gallery as I walk up the hill. I look at my old church, the wisteria is blooming and the churchyard is wild, but I do not want my old churches and church people at the moment, I am tired.
I walk over the bridge and look over the town, and I go down to the Christian shop, where I get a new crucifix and chain and saints medallions to replace the ones I lost.
I sit in the Cathedral and light a candle.

I walk back but I am so tired I have to rest.
Then I come here to the library and get a new temporary card as I lost mine a long time since and it ran out anyway.

I am not going to get much done today, I am exhausted, I will go back and sleep soon.

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