This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

I realised I had lost my rosary yesterday and hurried to the bed and breakfast to see if they had seen it, but they hadn't.
I went to the station but my train was cancelled.
I got the next train but arrived late for my appointment with MIND.
Never mind, we went ahead with the appointment anyway.
It was ok, we looked at how to keep me stable through ups and downs.

As I walked back I met a friend and she invited me home for a bath and I absentmindedly said yes, as I normally never turn down the opportunity to bathe or shower.
So I went and had a thorough bath and then they did me a bacon and cheese roll and attempted to glue my boot back together where it has come apart, they have been successful so far as the boot is holding together.

I can't remember what happened after that, I think I sat in the library and read books.
Then I used my stickers for a cuppa and the last of my money for a chip butty for my tea.

I went to check on my blankets and despite being buried in the snow they were all dry!
I moved them over to the porch as no one would be around, then I went to church to shelter and pray.

When I went in church it got chaotic, a woman had lost her phone and was in a flap,  I felt helpless, but she got someone from a meeting in the church room to come and help and she found her phone, I asked the lady from the church room where I could leave a thank you card for the poverty charity and she said the lady from the poverty charity was going to be there and she could hand it to her. Then she invited me to stay and sit in on the meeting.

I sat in and drank tea, they had worked out that I was homeless, I think they knew or had seen the card I did for the poverty charity.
It was funny but rather embarrassing to overhear an old lady shouting in what she thought was a whisper to someone who had just come in 'DONT LOOK NOW BUT THAT WOMAN HAS COME IN OFF THE STREETS TO SHELTER'
I kind of objected quietly because I had actually not come to them for shelter but had been invited to sit in on their meeting when I had come to go int othe church. But one of the other women who overheard the old lady said to me 'It's ok, she is old, we will all be like that one day'.
Haha. I am cranky enough now, what would I be like if I got old? :)

Anyway the meeting was fun, we had a presentation on the shoe box appeal and then all kinds of things to discuss.
Then off I wandered into the cold.
Most of the sodium lights were off so I thought I would get an early night but I was in error, a load of drunken idiots came along and were shouting nearby, I absolutely hate the fact that in the long dark winter nights I am up later than I am even in summer because of that dirty little pub and it's louts.

Eventually I settled to sleep, but it was a night of light sleep, the first night back in the cold, and even with all the blankets and handwarmers I was not quite warm enough, my left leg and foot wouldn't warm even wrapped up and with a handwarmer. Thats odd. I was in full thermals but it was well below freezing.
I dozed and woke through the night and had nightmares and flashbacks.

In the morning, as ever, I was now warm, and sleepy, and in danger of oversleeping, and I had terror dreams about being found.
So I got up, stashed the bedding and wandered into McD's.
My money had come through, though I have to be careful with this lot of money as I have the psychology assessment an hour's journey away tomorrow.

In McD's I had my bagel and tea, and looked out the window at the beautiful cold dawn.

Then I went to the cafe and joined the gang, who were thin on the ground but they treated me to tea and toast and I sat and drifted, I am so much more out of it at the moment and the lack of sleep last night doesn't help.

Eventually we broke up and I went to the library for a while, the computer is well and truly broken.
I went to join my pals at the community group and we had a lovely time, lots of tea and chat, and I got my nails painted. We had lunch, and it started snowing, the snow turned to sleet and then heavy rain.

After the lunch I went and had my wash and took my meds, which I had ommited to do before.
Then I got some black bags and rebagged my bedding as it was now raining heavily.
 I also put my computer in the repair shop - more expense! They charge an affordable fee to work out what is wrong, then they will ask me if I want to go ahead with repairs or if it will be not worth the cost. I do not know if I will be able to afford repairs, I have to hope and pray.

Then I caught the bus and came to this library, registered and I am on a library computer.
Heavy rain is forecast but at least it is warmer.

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