Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Hi peeps,
the library closed early yesterday and I had been doing psychological stuff online, I went to church and sat in there and was allowed to stay while the choir practiced, I was impressed by the choir and I also was cuddled up to the radiator and by a power socket so I charged the phone and computer a bit and read a bit of my book.
Then I started writing, writing the horrors that trouble me daily, usually I am too scared to write, so that is a breakthrough.

It was 9pm when the choir finished, so I was left with a few hours to kill.
I walked up to the train station, wandered around, used the loo there and brushed my teeth and filled my water bottle.
Then I went back to the bus station, someone had left a bag of cold roast chicken and it was fresh so I ate some of it. Don't do that at home peeps.

I sat and read papers out of the bin and found enough McD's stickers for a cuppa in the morning.
Eventually I went to bed down, there was already a hard frost everywhere, I bedded down hoping it would be ok but knowing it was cold and I still didn't have enough bedding, but I did fall asleep, sleept for two hours, adjusted my bedding, slept two more hours, got up needing the loo, went to the loo and redid my bedding and dozeduntil the alarms went off, again I wasn't completely warm enough but I also was not lying there shaking with cold.

Woke up in the beautiful dark morning, I had been having terrible dark flashback dreams but the morning was so cold and frosty and beautiful.
Got up and stashed everything and headed for McD's for the loo and to use my stickers on a cuppa, the first cuppa for many hours.

Then I went to the cafe and my friend had a blanket for me. Cafe didn't last long this morning and I went to the church where the lady from the poverty charity had three knitted blankets for me.
Well I will be warmer tonight, maybe, it is getting even colder and snowier at the moment :)

oh peeps, a thin time is bad, a thin time in the freezing cold is worse.
Tomorrow the money comes through and I will be able to buy many hot drinks and food. But at the moment I cannot even buy hand warmers or a bus ticket to help me cope with the long cold evenings and nights.

Tomorrow I also have my psychological assessment with a clinical psychologist who specialises in trauma and AS.
EEK!



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