This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Hi peeps,

Yesterday evening I went on the buses to keep out of the weather, it remained galeforce winds and torrential rain.
I went back to my sleeping place at 11pm but had to wait until 11.30 because for some reason it was like a weekend night with all the yobs and noise and the sodium lights on late.

It was cold, and I thought I would be as cold as the previous night but I arranged my blankets and managed to stay warm enough, I pretty much slept through the night, I dreamed I was with my friends, I kept seeing tractors pulling trailer loads of flowering plants and I was worried that one of the tractor drivers was someone I didn't want to see, then I was in a bed with a yellow and black bedspread and I was coughing and coughing and my friend was sitting with me, a rat came running out of the wall and I knocked it on the head with a tea mug. Wierd dream!

I got up reluctantly, I had not heard my alarm and so I was late, 7am, no money for tea or food. I had to rebag my bedding and sort out my clothes, I managed to do that less painfully than I thought, and I always dread opening the stashpack with my clothes in in case they are wet and mouldy but they were ok, so I changed my clothes so the usual ones could be washed, including the thermals wich quickly get smelly with sweat and urine, not that you wanted to know that.

It was boring waiting around in the rain, no hope of enough stickers for a cuppa. So I combed my hair and filled up my water bottle and waited.
Eventually I wandered into church a while but I wasn't going to mass, I borrowed the loo and tried to sort out my blanket-eye but was unsucessful, the cysts hide under the eyelid so you can't find them.

Eventually it was time for the community group and I went there and was relieved to get my cup of tea, and the next one and the next, and so on.
I popped down to the book shop with my wet blanket and clothes and wandered back to the community group for lunch, I got my nails painted.
For lunch we had chicken burgers and hot dogs and soup, this is because there are no beefburgers in the shops due to the conflict, people are hiding their horses and thus there are no beefburgers.

After lunch I went to the bookshop. I was happy to help but it is a bit of a nightmare as it is so inclosed and there is this man with learning difficulties who is everywhere, especially blocking the doorways and trapping me and getting too close, and he doesn't actually do anything, I got very wound up but didn't actually panic, I am still wound up. At the end I was climbing the walls in distress needing to get away from this guy, the lady was going to take me to the laundry to get my top blanket dried but the guy wouldn't go away so I left as fast as I could.
God, peeps I need some space!!!!!!!!! I feel like I can't breathe!

The weather remains very wet and windy indeed.
I have no food, no hot drinks, nothing now until thursday, I will sit and listen to the choir this evening until 9pm but then I have nowhere to go until late and in this weather!
grump grump.
Oh and by the way, I think I have another ulcer. I am sure you didn't want to know that and neither did I. It is not a good thing. And this time it feels lower down. :( killer ulcer, just wait till I start coughing blood. Fun.

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