Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Friday, 9 March 2012

Well last night after library time I went accross the road, there is a big church there and I went in, it was all ready for worship, candles glowing, but I didn't dare approach the priest, so I waited for people to turn up for the service but I knew I had to go to soup kitchen and get my supper, so when a nice looking lady came along I asked her if she would chaperone me to speak to the priest, she happily did and I sat with her and the priest and asked if they could add me to the prayers because of my distress. They were happy to and they invited me back for mass and lunch tomorrow as I had to go to soup kitchen rather than stay for mass.

I went over to soup kitchen and it was the same as yesterday, really really good, food, good quality food overflowing from the van. hot drinks, soup, excellent sandwiches, crisps, cakes, chocolate, it was never ending.
They also had bedding, I asked for a duvet and they gave me a bag with two duvets, I handed one back and they gave me a pillow. They also handed out loads of toiletries and even makeup for the girls, I got a spray deodorant and a little shower gel, there were more girls tonight.
No one pushed or shoved apart from one female immigrant.

There was one girl who could see I was worried about leaving my things on the edge of the area with the others and she said 'don't worry, no-one will touch them while I'm here', I liked her, she had an accent and was dark skinned, Romany? or somewhere else? I couldn't tell. I hope I get to talk to her a bit more.

After soup kitchen I was tired, I wandered around and tried to make a decision on sleeping places.
I ended up back in the disabled toilet, but I must stop doing that, it is causing flashbacks and I don't sleep deeply as the light in there is on a sensetive sensor and comes on if I move in my sleep.

I am glad I made this move, it was a tough one but I know I did the right thing.
A settled rough sleeper and a traveller are two different people.

I woke wide awake at 5am, neither sleepy nor tired and packed myself up and wandered off, suffered massive distresses, I must not sleep in that toilet any more, the flashbacks are about being locked in a cell, and then all the rest of it.

Anyway, I wandered around, remembered I couldn't brew tea because I had left my brew kit in storage at the daycentre, so I just ate some of the plentiful supplies that I got from soup kitchen last night, went and had a quick wash as I will have a shower later, I had a shower at the daycentre yesterday but forgot to mention it, they gave me loads of lovely toiletries and things.

I decided to set of in the direction of the daycentre early as the bus route is complicated and I was worries about not getting there, I was ok though, found it and continued on the bus to a big shopping centre about half a mile further and had a wander around while I waited for the daycentre to open, then bussed back.

Breakfast was sausages and beans on toast and lots of tea, I sat and read a book and then had a long shower.
Then the only other three people there were going to play football, I was so very tempted to join them and I think I will try to next week, I know I am not really fit to but I need to, I need to more than you can possibly understand. I will try and play for a while if the staff at the daycentre are understanding, they organise the football, I think the bandage on my leg will help with the impact. Please agree with me, I need to play football.

Anyway, they went to play football and I came back into town because I am going to mass and lunch in half an hour.
And here I am, rested, fed, washed, plenty of bedding if it hasn't been nicked again, and I wouldn't be surprised :)

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