Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 3 March 2012

I went to film club last night, with my bucket.

My friend said to me 'why have you got a bucket?'

I replied 'All the fashionable people carry a bucket with them these days'

she said 'what is the real reason?'

I told her.

I also demonstrated what a good rain hat it made.

She asked me to consider staying and not moving on.

The film was ok, nothing special, but the company and the tea and chocolates were good.
And I had a small glass of wine to celebrate my new name and also because I have a sore throat and wine is supposed to be good for that.

I headed back to the bus and thought I was lucky to be on the bus earlier than I had though, though it is late evening, got back thinking I would fall into my blankets and sleep, but I ended up wide awake until midnight then I tucked down comfily and slept.

I dreamed that my dad was there and some of the siblings were vaguely in the background, my mum was there too, wearing one of her green sari's, I was cross with my dad, I said to him 'you have been gone for three months and the family has fallen apart, you were the mainstay of the family'
Dad looked stunned. I said something about mum being insane, but mum just stood there in her smiling dream world not taking anything in, very lifelike, but I woke up and was sad that I had been angry with dad even in a dream.

It was 6.30 so I toileted in my pot and snuggled vaguely in my blankets not dozing and not sure what to do with myself.
Then I got up, threw the kettle on and started sorting out my washing for the laundrette, I ended up sorting the whole summerhouse out :)

Then it was time to make a move, I walked up to the post office and got some money out, then I got the bus into town, had breakfast at the market and went to the shed for the rest of my washing.

The laundarette was a pretty painless experience, I put my washing on and went and sat in a cafe with a cuppa, there was a lady with a screaming baby there which didn't help.
The washing was soon ready for tumbling so I tumbled and then wandered back to the shed and left the washing there. So now I have all clean clothes apart from my jeans as I only have one pair, and I have no other trousers or skirts, so I cannot wash my jeans.

skirt! :)
 I could get a skirt :) hm.
A denim one

I hate weekends, town is too crowded, the library is barely open and nothing runs as normal.

I had the terrors really bad this morning and all of a sudden they faded into sane and rational thought.  Thats a new one.

In case you wonder what I mean by the terrors it means flashbacks to the way the church treated me and severe distress about that.

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