Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Sunday, 6 November 2016

Sunday Night

Hey peeps,

Well this morning wasn't good because I couldn't stop vomiting and I hadn't got much in me to vomit, so it was all blood and bile coming up, which is not nice. Well no vomit is nice.
It has been a hard day, one of the neighbours has been so noisy and he doesn't like being asked to be quiet.
I have stopped vomiting, I have been able to eat and drink, and what I have coughed is clear of blood. Good.
I tried to sleep earlier but I couldn't. I tried to do some assignment work and wasn't much more successful with that.

My old lady from round the corner phoned and told me all about it, which was nice, she knows everything. She thinks I my ancestry is a distinguished Russian family, well that would explain why I like the cold and not the heat. She has been asked to do a history column in the local, and I hope she does, I like history because it is nice and boring and you never get to the end of it.

As my landlord and former therapist know, I am a big fan of boring, I like everything to be very boring and I like to be boring as well. Life should read like a wafer, sleep, eat, work, Hollyoaks, sleep. Lets keep things boring!

The princess diaries is on but I have my earplugs in because the neighbour is being a sod. I have never mentioned his noise before because I like to chat to you, not grumble, but I have had a horrifyingly difficult few days and I have lost the plot for the moment.

Max is running but he needs work done, but his best friend will do that when he gets home from holiday.  The police caused me major disruption on Friday and I started spitting up blood again at the same time.
Saturday, although I went and did the exam, was a very painful and miserable day, and in the evening although I went down to North Walls, I decided not to stay for the fireworks and I was so ill that I nearly didn't stay for the parade as well, I literally was so ill that I didn't think I could. But that firebrand is my prayer for hope and justice and my joining in unison with all the hearts who love Winchester.

I didn't get you any North Walls pictures this year, none at all, and if the church and police continue, then this was my last North Walls.
I went down there, tired and shaky, and gathered with the others, it was the usual, except less sellers of brands this year, only two or three, and it was a very cold evening and I felt cold and sick and tired.
I got my brand at about 6.15 but as usual the parade was slow starting, so I made my way up to the top of high street as I couldn't keep still.
I stood outside GodBegot and watched the brands, and eventually the flashing lights started moving up.
I joined the parade up near the top of High Street, started the walk up and then crossed the road to watch the parade streaming up the high street, it was as spectacular as usual, the fact that there were fewer sellers didn't seem to have diminished the brands, all the way down to King Alfred and over the broadway, the brands in their thousands and thousands were marching, and it brought tears to my eyes.
Winchester! My Heart! My Home! My Heritage! 

One thing you should always do along the way is stop and look back at the brands, it is amazing.

I walked round, thinking as usual that I was well back, until I looked back at the thousands of people behind me. We got to City Road and as usual you get the angry aristocrats, the bus drivers having a fag and everyone caught out by forgetting it's North Walls, all queuing back onto Stockbridge Road and Andover Road. Haha.

I walked round but stopped before the Leisure Centre, thinking I would watch the parade pass, but haha, it doesn't zip past in five minutes, 20 minutes later the brands were still marching and I was getting too cold, some people were heading back up Hyde Street to go round again, so I went back with them but didn't go back round, I just stood on City road as the brands kept coming and coming.
Awesome. My dear darling beloved Winchester, that is my communion with you, the brands, the spirit of our city, which one day I will win back as my home when Dakin and his Diocese are destroyed and the evil is vanquished.

I was too ill to stay any longer so I went to get Max, someone had illegally parked and blocked me in, so it was hard to get Max. I struggled badly but got us out unscathed, and we set off on the long journey home. I realised that I have basically had a minor breakdown and stopped coping. But I didn't realise how ill I was until this morning when I had to get up and vomit and couldn't stop vomiting and the blood that came up with it. Not good.

Those of you who have read my book 'Breaking Silence' will recognize my North Walls Anthem:

Some watch from St. Giles Hill
Some gather early on the Broadway
The excitement grows, the tension mounts
The evening draws and dusk falls

The brave or reckless light their brands first
When else can you walk around with fire in town?
The oldies like tell us of when it was at the Arbour not North Walls
But to us it's North Walls

The crowds are gathering, the Broadway is alive
More brands now, more noise, it's nearly time
Now we light our brands and we keep the good luck tradition
Of seeing how many people will light their brands from ours


Now here come the band, slow and late as usual
And eventually we start to move
Some people walk up the high street
Some cut through onto St George's Street

From the top of the High Street I look back
The flaming brands go back all the way along the High Street
Thousands of people are walking behind us
And more ahead

I raise my firebrand to salute my Home City
Winchester, my heart, my home, my heritage
Nothing they can do will take you away from me!
Winchester! My heart, my home, my heritage!




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