Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 18 February 2012

I got the bus back to the summerhouse last night, and I decided that because it was early and I shouldn't spend too much time alone or I get the distress and terrors about the church I would go to McD's as I had a full card of stickers.
It was a mild foggy night and I wandered into McD's and had a hot chocolate and went on the computer.

Then I went back and settled down to sleep.
I was asleep immediately, but woke in terror at 2am in the morning crying out to God for help because I was in a horrible nightmare about being sexually assaulted.
It is interesting that I always try to cry out to God when I am trapped in a nightmare being harmed by something or someone, and I always tend to wake up then.
In that nightmare a while back when I was in a possessed lift I was saying hail marys and crying out to God, I think I missed that out of the description of the dream.
Anyway, I woke up and said some prayers because in my terror the summerhouse seemed full of scary shadows, I lit a candle and bowled out of bed to wee in the pot, I was really boiling hot, I tucked back down with just my feet in the sleeping bag and the rest of me under a thin soft blanket, and I was warm still, the wind was blowing fiercely and hurling itself at the summerhouse and making the doors and walls rattle.

I slept and woke up still warm and groggy, the neck pain and headache chose today as their day, so I had tea with paracetamol and I had a wash and eventually persuaded myself to head into town, when I got to town there was a collapsed man on the pavement with some paramedics doing paramedicky things.

I went to the daycentre and got some food and drink and then came to the library to type this :)

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